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What is LONELINESS? It is not about being on your own. Many people enjoy being on their own and would choose this for themselves for at lest part of the time. They enjoy having their own space. They do not feel the need to have other people around all of the time to validate them or make them feel more comfortable.
If someone experiences feelings of LONELINESS; it is usually not influenced solely by where they are or whether other people are around. It is possible to be in a room full of people and still feel very much ALONE. You can be part of a social gathering and feel LONELY as you are on the periphery and not fully involved with what is going on.
This suggests that LONELINESS is a state of mind. It is tied up with how you feel about yourself. When we have a low self esteem, we have a choice about whether to change this or not. The prospect of change can be daunting.The challenge of embracing this is however very worthwhile, with rewards not only in terms of how you feel about yourself but also in the quality of your life. The first task in changing our self esteem is to alter the way in which we view ourselves.
Alternatively, PLAN ahead. Think of what would make you feel more comfortable by REHEARSING the situation in your head.This may alert you to any possible difficulties. It is then your task to generate ways of overcoming these difficulties. It can be useful to decide beforehand that you are only going to stay somewhere for an hour. Giving yourself a time limit may make it easier for you to relax and stay in a situation .Even if you are enjoying yourself, it still makes sense to leave at the time you promised yourself and when things are going well. This will ensure you achieve POSITIVE feedback.
Join a drama, music, art, singing or art class, take up a contact sport, challenge yourself by commencing, rock climbing, canoeing, diving, etc.
You will benefit from having set yourself a GOAL or CHALLENGE and by the opportunity to express yourself in a different way. You will definitely have something new and interesting to talk about.
If you have a family, you may choose an ACTIVITY which you can do together such as cycling.Dance has the added benefit of being good FUN and brings you into contact with other people. SKIPPING can help increase bone density so is great for all of us over 40. Beware you are more likely to do this on your own. You could however go for a really nice walk somewhere and have your ropes in your pocket.
If you find it difficult to fit EXERCISE into your day: Try WALKING instead of using transport. If you must drive, park a little way from your place of work. If you take a bus, get off a few stops from where you need to. Use stairs not the lift.
If you have a sedentary job, make a point of getting out of your chair regularly and take a WALK in the building.Have a brisk twenty minute WALK at lunch time. Try to get others ROPED in too!
This will offer opportunity to make a new group of friends.You will have a new shared interest and a sense of camaraderie. You may need to trust and be trusted by others.You will have the opportunity to give and receive POSITIVE feedback and have FUN!!!
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