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About this sample
About this sample
Words: 661 |
Page: 1|
4 min read
Published: Nov 8, 2021
Words: 661|Page: 1|4 min read
Published: Nov 8, 2021
Many people have a misunderstanding of what gossip is. They believe it is when you talk bad about someone that isn't in the conversation. Gossip has many definitions and again it all just comes down to how you would like to interpret it. According to Tannen gossip doesn't necessarily have to be talking against but it can also be talking about. It can be from secrets to rumors amongst other things. Besides, it can even be yourself gossiping to your friends, keeping them updated about what is going on in your own personal life. It also helps to form relationships and trust with other people. Deborah Tannen focuses on this topic on chapter 4 of her book, that gossip happens for the most part between women and that men do not like to gossip. She then proceeds to explain that men do not like to gossip they just like to talk about news and solve their problems. Men like to protect their status and on the contrary, women like to share intimate things that happen with details to their friends. In addition, she also elaborates that women are the ones who gossip and men are the ones who try to make small talks that serve a big purpose.
During the reading Tannen explains that women are the ones who are more affectionate/concerned about most of the situations. In an example she provided was where a couple had broken up and the woman was the one that was mostly affected and sulked in the problem while the men went out with his friends and moved on quickly. This is where the women gets in contact with her friends and starts gossiping about the situation paying close attention and come together to help the one friend get over the break up. In this case it shows that males value their independence and women value the intimacy of their relationship.
When women want something fixed she wants to talk about it and have a basic understanding. Woman express understanding and will establish similarities and matching experiences to make conversation For example, in the paragraph from the chapter called “Matching Troubles” Eleanor explains to Patsy that she has fallen in love with a married man and Patsy acknowledges her situations, makes sure she knows she understands and then continues to sharing her experience and lastly brings back the conversation to Eleanor and apologizes for sharing her experience and confirming the similarity in experiences and encouraging Patsy to share more. Women will establish similarities and matching experiences to make conversation.
The cross cultural language between men and women and the way each on expresses on the same situation differently can cause conflict between them. Women often complain that when they share stuff with men they often do not listen because they aren't paying close attention to details, aren’t making eye contact and their body language says a lot. But the same way women expect a reaction from a guy through his body language doesn’t mean he isn't listening. Guys have different ways of approaching situations when it comes to gossip and will not really show emotion but as, like previously stated, men do not show emotion because they are convinced that is a women characteristic. I do agree with that statement because when I do share things with my guy friends I want them to look at me when I am talking to know that they are paying attention. When their attention is focused elsewhere and I notice I get mad and stop telling my story. Then they give me their attention and tell me to continue with my story, all along they have been paying attention but they just have a way of paying attention without showing it.
Overall, Tannen's analysis shows that basically men and women are in a competition to see who will be the first place and who is superior to who in gender wise, but this is a competition that will never have winners.
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