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Self-love is the best love. My father has always told me, ” You are beautiful, intelligent, and unique, do not let anyone tell you otherwise.” If I had a really bad day, I would call my father and I would explain to him, how I feel about not having self-confidence. I used to think that everyone was going to like me, befriend me, or even date me. But as I progressed through my adolescent years in school, I would hear “Adreannah is ugly”, “I want to fight Adreannah”, “Adreannah is a nobody”, or “Adreannah is a whore”. Although those cruel statements were not true, somehow it still got up under my skin to the point of self-harming myself. As I continue to age up into a magnificent young lady, I am still learning to love myself and to block out any negativity that comes towards me from improving myself.
In order for us to build self-confidence, we should reduce the oversensitivity, eliminate negative self-talk, and avoid collapsing with any and every obstacle that hits us in society. Oversensitivity is what some of us face in everyday life. Being too sensitive can trigger us to have low self-esteem whether it is from criticism that angered us or we could literally feel demolished by comments that are directed towards us. To overcome that fear, we should start to comprehend what is being said first, that way we can evaluate whether it is true or not before we decide to retaliate. We should stand up for ourselves and if someone’s criticism is unfair, we said stand up and say “I disagree.”.
And most importantly we need to be more proactive. Constructive criticism is the way to go, instead of building up that negative logic we have from that one comment. Another way to build self-confidence is to eliminate the negativity that we think about ourselves. Although we may dislike who we are as a person, loathing our thoughts and actions is a simple sign of low self-respect.
Self-loathing is created between the feelings of rage and frustration about who we are as a person and the inability to forgive ourselves for the smallest mistakes. My mother has told me, “…You are ugly. You will never get anywhere in life…”. And I started to hate myself because my own mother thought I was not important to her. Although my mother said such cruel comments to me, I learned to ignore the voice in my head by repeating the positive words for every negative thought that was coming at me. I learned to forgive myself for the mistakes I committed in the past. By eliminating negative thoughts from a person’s mindset, they would feel so much more relaxed within themselves. When obstacles try to bring down one’s joy, we should learn to avoid them and turn those negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Stay away from the outrageous negativity and spread the delightful positivity in the surrounding area.
Sometimes family can also be the main issue on why some individuals cannot seem to bloom like a flower. Individuals’ should learn to focus on themselves regardless of what others have to say. We are in control of our attitudes and actions. We can’t control how others retaliate, but we can always oversee what we emphasize on, how we act, and how we react towards situations. Although self-confidence can have its disadvantages, we can still learn, practice, and master- just like anything else. Once we master it, any and everything in our life will change for the better.
We should learn to stay positive no matter how bad a person tries to ruin our moment. When we see someone who is having a bad day, let’s put some positivity and enthusiasm when we interact with them. We need to also stop focusing on the negative aspects of our lives and instead focus on solutions and making positive changes that will benefit us, in the long run, to make us feel more comfortable. It’s never easy to fight or control the negativity that surrounds us.
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