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Dear King George III,
We colonists are sick of the fact that so many Acts are being forced upon us including the Molasses Act, the Proclamation of 1763, the Sugar Act, the Stamp Act, the Quartering Act, the Townshend Act, the Tea Act, and the Intolerable Acts. It is unfair that we have to obey all of your laws because they are just scams designed to make easy money while we are suffering economically. We have just barely started the beginnings of a new society, but your acts are bringing our success in the New World down. For example, in the Proclamation of 1763, you were making a selfish decision by not letting us move west because you just wanted to keep all the territory to yourself. However, you played this law off by supposedly “protecting” the Indians. We all know you don’t really care what happens to them. Because we colonists helped you defeat the French in the French and Indian War, we should share some of the rewards. Also, in the Quartering Act, couldn’t you have built barracks for soldiers to be sheltered in? Shelter, food, and clothes are some of the basic necessities a country needs to provide for their army. As a result, our jobs were stolen because they needed a source of income since you are too conservative to pay them a salary. They are protecting your countries after all. Shouldn’t they be treated with the respect of a reward of a paycheck?
When you finally listened to our complaints on prior acts, your apologies were too late, and it is unbelievable that you really felt sorry for what you did to us. To you, we are like annoying flies that squeal for justice, so you repeal the acts to shut us up and be rid of us. Besides, when you repealed some acts on taxation, it didn’t make much difference because you just increased the prices of products such as tea, so the tax is built in to continue making revenue.
To cope with this ridiculousness, we have given you a taste of your own medicine. As an act of our rebellion, we have boycotted your goods just to make your business suffer, and the prices for your goods are too expensive to afford anyway. After all, isn’t making people poor what you do to those of us who live in the New World? We hope you realized your faults when the Patriots dumped millions of dollars worth in tea into Boston Harbor. That should teach you a lesson about messing with our rights and pleas for help. All this taxation and no representation in Parliament is angering us because you won’t let us give our own opinion in government. Technically, the colonies are still a part of your empire, so we should have a say. This is why we’re planning on setting up our own government (democracy) that will let people give us input so we can all compromise on ideas. In addition, we wrote the Declaration of Resolve and other letters like this one to plead with you to fix your ways. If our persuasion goes well, we won’t have to deal with warfare, and you don’t have to deal with us maggots disturbing your rule. However, if you still refuse to listen to our thoughts on how to make your government better, it will only buy us more time to prepare for an army to fight for our own rights. After all, it is philosophically okay to overthrow the government if we are displeased with the way it is ran.
Much of our political philosophy derives from Thomas Paine’s “Common Sense” and the English philosopher, John Locke, who said that all people have the natural rights to life, liberty and property. If these rights are taken away, we can revolt. However, these constant new laws aren’t cutting the deal: you are letting complete strangers barge into our houses and steal our belongings, which violates the natural right of property; our natural right to life is stolen because of random shootings like the Boston Massacre when we try to express our opinions. Mainly, the complaints described in Thomas Paine’s “Common Sense” explain why we’re furious with you. The pamphlet explains your errors and the easiest way to correct them so every individual in Britain and the colonies can be happy. Why else would it be the second best-selling book after the Bible? Point is, if you treat us more fairly, listen to our suggestions and stop manipulating us to give you money, we will treat you back kindly and you won’t have to fear uprisings and failing businesses. If you just listen to us, life can be perfectly peaceful the way it used to be.
The Colonists of the New World
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