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Everyone should hit their child when they discipline. Right? Well, it is illegal for a parent, teacher or anyone to hit a child in 47 countries and a prohibited punishment in school in 124 countries. Yet all around the world, people think a punishment is necessary as long as it’s not severe and, unfortunately, even encouraged.
Hitting your children makes them think it’s right and OK. Parents are physically bigger and stronger than children. They are smarter because their brain and body are fully developed unlike a child’s. When a parent tries to hit their own child to make them behave better, the parent is basically telling them that hitting someone who is weaker or smaller than you is an acceptable way to get them to do anything. Could this be why children bully smaller children or grow up to abuse their wives?
Sometimes adults get frustrated easily or get stressed from work, family, relationships etc. so hitting your child who has been getting on your nerves, will get you to experience immense relief, which drives you to hit more or harder. Punishment will always turn to abuse. Once you begin to punish your child lightly, where do you stop? For an example, your child reaches your valuable things, you tap his hand so he can stop touching it, he reaches again and this time you spank his hand lightly, he reaches it again and you hit harder. You’ve now started a cycle to always hit your child harder, the issues then are about who’s stronger, your child’s will to touch it or your punishment not your valuable stuff anymore. The danger of punishment is when a child disobeys, you may feel like you have to hit harder until he’s so sore he can’t disobey anymore. Your hand becomes a fist, your folded newspaper becomes a belt, now what once was just an innocent tap becomes child abuse.
Hitting your child distracts the child from learning to resolve the conflict in a proper way because they get overwhelmed with feelings of anger and fantasies of revenge, losing the opportunity to learn how to resolve it making a punished child difficult to handle similar situations or prevent similar situations in the future. Even though children don’t think properly like adults, they can still sense unfairness in this word. Punishing your child will create a very angry child, therefore, making them rebel and feel humiliated.
Abuse interferes with the bond between parents and children as we cannot feel love towards someone who hurt us. It only gives you good behaviour from fear but not love or care. If your child grew up in a very loving caring home but got spanked once or twice, your child won’t remember any specific happy scenes in vivid detail, unlike the spanking scenes. It’s fascinating how one negative memory can block out so many positive memories. Punishing your child affects you too! Once a mother quotes, after spanking her child, “I won the battle. But lost the war” This suggests that she got her child to do whatever she wants however her child now fears her; she now lost her child.
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