Understanding The Self: Who Am I as Person

Who am I? For my essay, I would normally start off by listing my age, nationality, religious belief, what school I attend, what I do for a living and so on. But does that truly define who I am? Once I sat and started thinking about it, I realized the question was more complicated than I initially thought it would be. So who am I as a person? This essay is the answer.

I think for the most part I am a very easy going. I am a pretty easy person to get along with. I usually tend to have an optimistic outlook of life. And I always made it my hardest to try making the right decision. I am self-determined, If I want something, I would try my ultimate best to do so. I am shy at first, but once I start opening up it’ll be hard for you to shut me up. Another is that I’m always up for a challenge. I was always one to step out of comfort zone. I like to experience new things. The way I look at it, is… That there is so much to life. Why shouldn’t you be more open to try new thing? You never know you like something unless you try. For instance, I was terrified of the pools. The idea of jumping in pool that’s twelve feet… forget about it. My girlfriend pushed me to take a swimming class at queens college. I was up for a challenge. How hard could it be, I thought. Oh boy, was it hard.

On the very first day we were told to jump in the deep side of pool. Now you can only imagine what going inside my head. I could barely swim. I realized that it wasn’t that bad. Anyways, to this day swimming turned into 2 one of my hobbies. I’m not Micheal Phelps but I really enjoy it. This semester I’m taking this scuba diving class, so hopefully soon I can go diving in the reefs of some tropical island. Life is like a roller coaster, you got its ups and downs. Sometimes in life we can end up in situations than can be very difficult. No you either handle it by flight, fight, or assimilate. Whenever I get myself in a hard situation I do either or. For instance, if there’s any problem I always assimilate the situation. I try to understand the problem fully. Then I’ll act according to it. If I fully believe that I’m doing the right thing, I’ll stick to what I believe in and fight. But if I feel as if I don’t want to bother with resolving my problems I might just try to run away from it entirely. This is where I can relate to Holden Caulfield, from the book “The Catcher in the Rye”. Throughout the book he’s quickly get disappointed with every turn life give him and continues to run away from his problems. I’ve always tried to figure myself out throughout the years. The questions of “Who am I” was very complex in my eyes. In high school, I always struggles to figure out who I am. I always tend to ask myself “What I wanted to do with my life?” In high school, I always tried to keep up with this cool guy image. I always tried to impress everyone. Try to fit in, hang out with the cool kids, be the most liked guy in school. But if someone disliked me I move mountains for them to see otherwise. If someone told me I didn’t like the way I dressed, I changed it. If someone thought I laughed weird, I try to laugh different. I would change myself to make sure that one person can think otherwise of me. It was stupid, now that I look at it. It took me some time to see 3 that I was defining myself with how others viewed me as. But the only person that should know who you are is you. I don’t think you should ever change yourself for anyone. You are, who you are. Understanding the self is the most important.

In my teens, I always wanted to grow up faster than I actually should. I took my first job at age sixteen. The way I looked at was, I’ll gain experience of the real world and get some cash. Thought it would fun. Oh boy, was wrong. I realized quite fast that the world was filled with Holden called “Phonies”. For myself I wanted to grow up, and grow up fast. But for Holden is was quite opposite. I believe he wanted to resist the process of maturity. For example, his trip to the Museum of Natural History he shows that he fears change. “The best thing, though, in that museum was that everything always stayed right where it was. Nobody’s move …Nobody’s be different. The only thing that would be different would be you.” The museums displays appeal to him because they a frozen and never change. I think Holden fears the fact of change and maturity. This was a reoccurring issue for Holden. He was afraid of adulthood.

Another part of the book where I think Holden is trying to figure himself out and his circumstance is the ducks in central park lagoon. He asked this questions a number of times throughout this novel. Holden wanted know where these ducks go when its winter. I think the ducks prove that vanishing is only temporary. I think Holden is still traumatized of the death of his brother Allie. I think he uses this duck leaving the lagoon to help him with his situation. I think Holden is terrified of change and disappearance. This shows that change isn’t permanent.

Life is full of experiences that we learn since childhood. We meet different people along the way and face different situation. In this course of life, we not only learn what has been taught to us, but we also know ourselves in different ways. Our perception and outlook toward life also change with time in experience. Who I am today, would be different from who I am in ten years. Who I am is always changing, I will always be learning, and evolving. Thus, the search to the answer to the questions of who I am is life long process.

Who I Am As A Person

To truly be able to understand who I am, not only as a student, but a person as well I feel the need to tell you about who I am, and who has really affected my life. My whole life my mom has said my theme song should be Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson. I always did things by myself. It wasn’t like I didn’t have any friends, I did, but I found it so much easier to take matters into my own hands. In middle school, my independence terrified me. I used to believe that because I was so independent people didn’t like to hang out with me. However, I soon discovered that wasn’t true. Because I was so independent, I got in my own way and wasn’t able to branch out to make more friends. Once I acknowledged this I was able to start discovering who I was. I realized that I changed who I was depending on who I was around until I found people who I thought brought out the best in me, but I was sadly mistaken.

Going into my freshman year of high school I had a solid group of friends. We did everything together, but around Christmas, I began to notice a change. My so-called friends were doing a lot of things without me, and eventually, my best friend turned everyone against me. Halfway through my first year of high school, I lost all of my friends. I never felt so lost and betrayed before. However, I am now so elated because I have some of the best friends in the entire world. They are all freshmen in college, but they treat me like family. When I was alone they took me in and made me feel wanted again. They helped to shape and show me who I am. I am quirky, shy yet outgoing, responsible, independent, caring, brutally honest, secluded, strong, impulsive, realistic, and much more, but I never would’ve realized this without my friends.

Now at this point you may have either decided that this is just like any other college essay, not what you were looking for, or you actually feel like you are starting to understand who I am. If you couldn’t tell my friends are one of the most important aspects of my life. I don’t have many super close friends, but that doesn’t bother me like it did before. I’m ridiculously self conscious, but before it was a lot worse. I had it set in my mind that because I wasn’t like everyone else I wasn’t normal. I was so hard on myself and it nearly destroyed me. My best friend, Erin, helped me get over this. She is my rock. Our friendship is just so effortless and easy. We know exactly what to do to help the other out, we know everything about the other, and at this point, we might as well be sisters. The prompt essentially stated, “write about something that you think your application would be incomplete without”. My application would be incomplete without Erin. She has been such a large part of my life. She has helped to shape me into the person I am today. She showed me that it’s okay that I am such an honest person. I used to hold my tongue when people said or did something that was morally wrong because I was afraid of the confrontation, but now I’m not as afraid.

So you see for me it wasn’t necessarily a personality trait, specific event, or interest that had an impact on me, but people. Throughout my whole high school career Erin has been by my side, and now that she’s at college herself, it is only fitting that she be a part of my application.

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