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About this sample
About this sample
Words: 458 |
Pages: 1|
3 min read
Published: Jul 18, 2018
Words: 458|Pages: 1|3 min read
Published: Jul 18, 2018
The moon materialized over an hour ago, and I have just consumed enough junk food to nourish several third world countries. My stomach protrudes out three times the norm, and I feel the food rising in my throat. An intense shadow of guilt and frustration overtakes my body because of the thousands of calories I just devoured. I scream at myself in panic, “Just get it over with, you’re revolting.” My heart begins to race, and as always, bulimia makes the decision for me, along with all my other decisions. Like a robot, my legs lead me to the bathroom and into the shower. Tears swell in my eyes, and as the toothbrush scrapes a layer of skin from the roof of my mouth, my body begins to tremble uncontrollably. Catharsis, purgation, false purification, the never-ending routine completes another cycle. For almost four years, this self-hatred cycle of bulimia controlled every aspect of my existence, and left me living a life not my own. Undoubtedly, recovering from bulimia is my biggest accomplishment.
I suppose my journey with an eating disorder began when my body matured through puberty earlier than my peers' did. It was mid-year of eighth grade and while my friends still wore sizes zeroes and ones, I began having to buy sizes fives and sevens. From then on, I saw myself as nothing but “the fat girl,” and my confidence steadily sunk to a non-existent state. Bulimia developed into my only escape from my constant negative thoughts and feelings, and I lived miserably like this for the next three years, concealing my disorder with a happy façade. Living as a fraud, however, became impossible by the middle of my eleventh grade year, and I hit bottom with a severe bout of depression and suicidal tendencies. With no other alternative, I confided in my high school guidance counselors who not only provided me with an in-school therapy program, but also gave me faith and support I never previously experienced. My new therapist and I began meeting weekly, a psychiatrist prescribed an anti-depressant, and I committed to defeat this self-created enemy no matter the difficulty.
Although, my struggles with bulimia constitute as the most agonizing era of my life, the journey I traveled taught me more lessons of self-discovery and strength than most learn in a lifetime. My perspective on life has emerged as a healthy balance of realizing unattainable desires and striving for achievable ambitions. This insight has particularly aided me with college plans and future career goals by providing me the motivation and confidence to execute my aspirations and become a nurse anesthetist. Overcoming bulimia is incomparable to any other accomplishment I ever achieved because the self-acceptance I acquired is irreplaceable.
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