Pride before The Fall

When I chose to select this essay prompt, many of my friends thought I was insane. All things considered, for what reason would I tell strangers, particularly college admission officials, that I had failed at something. Besides, how do we even characterize failure? Does it mean not measuring up to other's standards? Or does it merely just mean making an effort without accomplishing the ideal result? Either way, I have learned that failing is inevitable, and instead of fearing and resisting failure, we should embrace our flaws because they shape us into better versions of ourselves.

This was not apparent to me when I was younger. Typically, at a more premature age, individuals choose to believe that they are infallible, and this mindset is ironically what causes us to fail due to “pride before the fall”. Furthermore, during this period we become so self-obsessed that we don't even pay the slightest attention to the world or others around us, which is a fatal quality to have. I can vouch for this firsthand based on a traumatic experience I had with my sister.

My sister had struggled with depression her whole life and thankfully it had been dormant for the past couple of months, but as time passed she started to exhibit behaviors

suggesting its presence, but me being so consumed with my own self-interests I was completely ignorant of the signs of its return. I had recently obtained tickets to an Ed Sheeran concert, I was elated, and the one person I wanted to go with was my sister. As days passed by at a snail-like pace, the day of the concert had finally arrived, I was shaking with anticipation, but something was wrong, I had tried to contact my sister all day, but to no avail, she had not been responding. I was infuriated, how could she just not show up? How could she do this to me? That's the thing, I was so infatuated with my own dilemmas I didn't take the time to, nor did I care, to stop and ask why she wasn't responding. When she did finally respond she was filled with a lethal amount of remorse, apologizing profusely, and I told her to save her breath for she had let me down too many times and this was the last straw. To say that I was furious was an understatement, it was like I had gone into battle and my merciless words were my sword. I was in such a cloud of rage that I didn't even think as to how my hurtful words might have affected her.

I almost lost my sister that day. On the way back from the concert, my dad and I received the news that my sister had been admitted into the hospital for drinking a fatal amount of bleach. The car was silent. Rereading the messages that I had previously sent made me feel more guilty by the second. How could I have said those ruthless things? Was I the cause of this horrifying event? Out of the thousands of thoughts racing through my head one was extremely obtrusive - I had failed her. Not only did I let my emotions take control of me, but I failed to perceive the signs of her potent illness. Due to my selfishness, I almost lost one of the most treasured and salient people in my life. I did not take this lightly. Thankfully, they pumped her stomach and she recovered remarkably fast, but from that day on, I vowed to myself that I would never let anything like this happen again. I had led the majority of my life treading on toes, and not even caring to look back at the effects that my actions had. But not anymore.

As painful as it might be to accept when we have failed, it is crucial in the development of our being. My failure showed me that there was a problem in my actions, and that problem was me. If it wasn't for that traumatic experience I might’ve carried on being, for lack of better words, a narcissistic idiot. Since then, I have become more caring and attentive to the needs of others, which has not only helped me in my present life, but has also helped me develop into the type of person I want to be regarding my aspiration to be a teacher. In my opinion, teachers are the most selfless and attentive individuals on the planet. My whole life I have aspired to be one, and this specific failure, among a plethora of others, has molded me into the person I would be proud to call a teacher, and for that, I am eternally grateful.