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About this sample
About this sample
Words: 895 |
Pages: 2|
5 min read
Published: Jul 18, 2018
Words: 895|Pages: 2|5 min read
Published: Jul 18, 2018
Driving down the streets of Arcadia, there were certain landmarks that reminded me that I was home— the grandiose library, the iconic windmill-themed restaurant, and at last but not least, the lady who stood at the end of my street. Committed, she braved scorchingly hot and bitingly cold weather, equipped with her cart, umbrella, and beach chair, as she promoted healthy eating within our neighborhood and worked earnestly to provide for her children back home. She was the fruit lady.
I recall pestering my mom about this woman, for her being there every single day astounded me. I wondered if she got bored, felt tired, or even liked her job. So one day, I had mustered up the courage to talk to Fruit Lady. I vaguely remember the whole conversation, let alone her name, but I vividly remember bits and pieces that still lie with me today: “I love this job because it makes me good, ” and although what she meant by “good” was unclear to me at first, the way she defined it in her elaboration is what struck me hardest. “I am a good mother because I provide, and the people in this neighborhood— they are good to me. They give me jobs sometimes, and I give them hard work.”
What Fr. Pedro Arrupe means in his statement is that a love of god and oneself is only genuine if such love is given to others. There is nobody else I know who embodies this more than Fruit Lady, who taught me love and appreciation in its purest form.
Amidst my curiosities about Fruit Lady was my frustration about my relationship with my dad; it was virtually nonexistent, but with her wisdom, I learned to be loving and appreciative of myself, and of him.
Growing up, I rarely saw my dad. He was always busy, and when he wasn’t, it seemed as if he was too unconcerned to see me. I resented him because he couldn’t be like other kids’ dads— the type of dad who would endure the 30 minute drive to come and see me on the weekends, or at least attend a Parent Day at school, where everyone’s moms and dads would spend lunch with them. I spent days like these waiting— hoping for him to come— only to find out that he was busy, and that we could see eachother some other time. With the passing of other times upon other times, I grew frustrated, becoming hostile and bitter because I equated his distance from me to my own self worth. I believed that people around me only pretended to care because it was courteous, and that I wasn’t worth their time anyways. This pessimism had gone on for years.
Fortunately, talking to Fruit Lady helped me realize that hardships don’t have to be hard. She worked tirelessly day to day, no matter the conditions, yet was not resentful of her circumstances. Though she mainly sold fruit, I’d sometimes see her gardening my neighbors’ homes. These were more than tasks to her. These were opportunities, and she was nothing but grateful for them because they allowed her to provide— for both her family and others.
This examination prompted me to do the same. Sure, my dad wasn’t around as much as I would have liked him to be, but I pondered the ways I could look this, and figured that this is an opportunity to be on my own. As I was only 9 or 10 at the time, this only entailed emotional independence, but it is valuable nonetheless. I’m glad that I had begun learning it at an early age. Ultimately, I stopped seeking validation from others. When kids would tease me, I never took it personally and surrounded myself with better people; when I got B’s, I asked my teachers what I could do to improve, and promised myself that I try harder instead of dwelling; and when others didn’t meet my expectations, I reminded myself that people can be unpredictable, and that their actions do not reflect any inadequacy in me.
Fostering this mentality helped me mature, and with my independence now, I neither depend on my dad for the emotional support nor validation I had sought as a child. I learned to be okay with the state of our relationship, and no longer try to impose the idealizations I had of him in earlier years. My relationship with him today is much stronger because of this. Some days, we’ll go out for lunch, or on others, we’ll have a phone call. I take our relationship for what is, and rather than viewing this as settling, I see this as appreciating.
Essentially, Fruit Lady works for justice, in her own subtle way. Undoubtedly. She’s selfless, having provided for family, her community, and me, without complaint. Her love and appreciation is unyielding, prevailing over despondence and resentment. That’s something I continually aspire to have, and having nurtured this mentality helped me mend some of my worst relationships. As a token of my personal growth, I wish I could thank her for her wisdom and its influence. Unfortunately, I don’t know where she is now, but I’m sure that she’s still in the right mentality, and with this in mind, I know that she is doing well, or in other words, good.
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