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Forgiving is not an easy task to do. On the contrary, when we feel someone has caused us a lot of harm, we usually think that person is not worthy of being forgiven. However, forgiveness does not only have to do with the other person, but with ourselves. When we do not practice it, we are the ones who begin to suffer the consequences, since retaining anger in our hearts also hurts us and causes us pain. The act of forgiving goes far beyond just pronouncing the phrase: “I forgive you”, since just by doing this you will not really forget what happened. Forgiveness is an act that emanates from a firm decision, and it involves a series of steps. We must understand that when we decide to forgive, we are also battling our own pain and we are walking a path of healing and happiness. This process is not always easy, and it may even take years to complete. However, if you have considered that you should get rid of the burden being angry with someone because of what they did to you, then you can start your journey to forgiveness with these steps:Make the decision to forgive. If you hold a lot of resentment, forgiving will especially be beneficial for you.
Therefore, you must concentrate on making this decision that will allow you to free yourself from the pain, and live the life that you deserve. It is not necessary for the other person to listen to you. In order to forgive, you do not necessary have to say it out loud to whoever hurt you. Making the decision to forgive only means that the anger caused by an offense will no longer create harm or discomfort in your life. Externalize what you feel. It is not healthy to have a bunch of negative emotions repressed inside you. You must externalize and remove all that bothers you. To do this, you have to imagine that you have that person in front of you and communicate everything you feel: why you felt offended, what has hurt you most, and finally to tell him that you forgive him. Even if you never talk with that person in real life, this will lift a huge weight off your shoulders. Discover your emotions. Anger often appears in the first place, but behind it there are other feelings that cause harm in your life, such as rejection, sadness, disappointment or humiliation. Try to identify what you truly feel, so you can move on. Recognize your mistakes. When we feel offended or hurt, it is often difficult for us to see what we did wrong. However, in any conflict, we are also partly to blame. Find what you can do better, so next time you can improve the way you acted. Let go of the negative emotions.
Finally, you have to ask yourself: what is this pain adding to my life? Usually, we cannot forgive because we think that would mean that we would be hurt again. However, remember that you are the only one in control of your own emotions, and decide right now to stop wasting your time and happiness thinking about something that another person did in the past. When you follow all these steps, you will find that you achive a state of inner peace that will make you much happier. This will also help you create better connections with those around you, as you will know that they can only hurt you if you let them.
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