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Alternate Ending - of Mice and Men

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Alternate Ending - of Mice and Men essay
score This essay is graded. Score 9/20

It was an alluring weather of calm and quiet on a dark starry night. The fathomless pool of the Salinas river laid still in the blissful night. The sun was long gone by now, what was the top of mountains that was as red as a rose was now jet black. Lennie slumped toward the rivers cool edge and knelt. He dipped his sizable hands low in the water, succeeding in retrieving a satisfactory amount. Swiftly he turned, to the bushes and then to the other side, checking every three minutes or so for anyone approaching in the distance. Satisfied, he lay down like a big baby by the river’s edge, with his legs drawn to his chest. His head jerked up suddenly at the sound of a breaking branch and he slowly turned his head and inhaled sharply. When he saw George approaching, Lennie exhaled and crawled to his feet. “George!” he exclaimed. Lennie tackled him in an enormous bear hug and they both e to the ground as well as their bindles that George had been carrying. George looked at Lennie, but couldn’t return Lennie’s joyful smile and instead gave him a sad one of his own. Lennie’s face drooped and tears began forming in his eyes.“George?” Lennie looked at him. “Yeah?”

“I know what you are going to say, George.” he said softly, his eyes twinkling. “I know what you are going to say.” George shifted on the bed of bush. “Well, what am I gonna say?” Lennie trembled- “You are going to say I made trouble again and that I can’t tend no rabbits. But I’m so sorry George, I didn’t mean to.” He began to quiver then, with his monstrous shoulders shaking back and forth in big unsteady motions. George scooted over and gently placed his arm on his back. “It’s alright.” He patted his back. “Its okay, Lennie.” Lennie bawled into his shirt, “I never meant to do any harm, George. I swear it, by the Lord Almighty. It was her soft, luscious hair, and it was so pretty.” he cried louder, “and all I wanted to do was touch it, over and over again, George. I swear I didn’t mean to do any harm. I just wanted to feel it, that’s all. ” His face fell hard and he cried again. Lennie continued sobbing and George sat there and let him sob on his shoulder. He stayed like this quietly for a moment, and then turned to face Lennie. “Lennie?” He glanced down. “Lennie, you got to look at me, Lennie, and let me see if you’re okay.” He lightly pushed Lennie’s head away until he could see his tear stained face. Lennie sniffled and looked at George. “Are you mad at me George?” “Of course I’m not mad at you.” He said with a small smile. “I’m not mad at you all.” He looked around. “You remembered to come back.

”Lennie’s face brightened as he wiped his nose. “That’s right, by God. I did. Aren’t you proud of me George?” He grinned and absorbed his surroundings. “I did it.” he whispered to himself.

“That’s right, you did.” George smiled. “That’s real amazing, Lennie. I’m really proud of you.” “Who are they?” George turned to where he was facing, but only saw a massive sized shrub blocking his view. “What is it Lennie?” Lennie extended his finger to the spot about five yards in front of them. “There.” All at once, a mob of ranchers swarmed at the two men. Slim stepped back and watched with a sad gaze as two ranch hands grabbed Lennie and instantly pinned him to the ground. Lennie roared and instantly threw them off, but Curley was prepared. He whipped him with a pistol on his head, and Lennie fell. Then, they all pulled him up and held him down to keep him from running away. Lennie was bleeding from the front of his temple where he had been hit. “You great big son of a bitch, you’ve got no idea how lucky you are. My pa doesn’t want you killed. But by God, I swear, you will feel my hatred for everything you have done to me.” With that said, he punched Lennie in the gut, hard. Lennie fell over, with the two men barely holding him. “Take him away boys!”, Curley roared. The two men dragged Lennie away into the night. Curley followed soon after. George was still there, staring at where his one companion once was. Something inside had been broken.

Essay Score 9/20
Focus
2/4
Organization
2/4
Voice
2/4
Sentence Structure
2/4
Evidence and Details
1/4
More about grading
The essay contains a lot of information, but it lacks structure and the conclusion seems unclear. It would benefit from section headings and evidence cited with the author’s last and page number.

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Alternate Ending – of Mice and Men. (2019, February 11). GradesFixer. Retrieved December 4, 2022, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/alternate-ending-of-mice-and-men/
“Alternate Ending – of Mice and Men.” GradesFixer, 11 Feb. 2019, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/alternate-ending-of-mice-and-men/
Alternate Ending – of Mice and Men. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/alternate-ending-of-mice-and-men/> [Accessed 4 Dec. 2022].
Alternate Ending – of Mice and Men [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2019 Feb 11 [cited 2022 Dec 4]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/alternate-ending-of-mice-and-men/
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