Domestic Violence: Uncovering The Dark Reality

Introduction

Violence against family members is something women do at least as often as men. There are dozens of solid scientific studies that reveal a startlingly different picture of family violence than what we usually see in the media. For instance, Murray Straus, a sociologist and co-director for the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire, provided statistics that are quite revealing. He concluded by stating that women were three times more likely than men to use weapons in spousal violence. He also noted that women hit their male children more than they hit their female children and commit 52 percent of spousal killings, being convicted of 41 percent of spousal murders. There are also some misleading statistics about family violence. One reason is that men do not usually report their violent wives to the police because of pride. Another is that children do not typically report their violent mothers to the police (Straus, 1997).

Media and Misrepresentation

A reason why we do not see many women reported is that the media does not encourage men to report the crime. Women are the ones who are encouraged to report spousal violence by countless media reminders. The media often portrays the woman as the victim and the male as the perpetrator. Men and children may not report when a woman injures them, but the dead bodies of the men and children who are victims of violent women are usually reported.

Confusion in Public Perception

There is much confusion about whom to believe in the debate about spousal violence. On one side, we have women's feminist groups that rely on law enforcement statistics. On the other side, we have social scientists who rely on scientifically structured studies, which do not get any media attention. America's press is more concerned with political correctness than scientific accuracy. That is why our society is so troubled now, because of the media. It is crucial to understand the complexity of this issue and to consider evidence from multiple sources to form a more balanced view.

Cross-Cultural Evidence

It is important to note that similar studies have been conducted in many countries. There is cross-cultural verification that women are more violent than men in family settings. When behavior has cross-cultural verification, it suggests it is part of human nature rather than a result of cultural conditioning. Females are often the perpetrators in spousal violence in all cultures that have been studied to date. This has led many professionals to conclude that there may be something biological about violent females in family situations. Women often see the home as their territory, and like many other species, humans may ignore size differences when experiencing conflict in their own territory. Globally, women are often more violent than men in family settings (Archer, 2000).

Initiating Spousal Abuse

Women usually initiate spousal abuse. That means they hit first, and women hit more frequently, as well as using weapons three times more often than men. This combination of violent acts means that efforts to find solutions to the family violence problem need to include an appropriate focus on female perpetrators. We need to recognize that women can be violent, and we need nationwide educational programs that portray women as perpetrators. Other studies show that men are becoming less violent at the same time that women are becoming more violent. Educating men seems to be working. Educating women to be less violent should now be the main thrust of public education programs (Dutton, 2006).

Myths and Misconceptions

Just as bad cases make bad laws, celebrity cases can reinforce old myths. The biggest myth the O.J. Simpson case is likely to reinforce is the myth that domestic violence is a one-way street (male-to-female), and its corollary, that male violence against women is an outgrowth of masculinity. I once thought violence was an outgrowth of masculinity, but evidence suggests otherwise. Men are responsible for most violence occurring outside the home. However, when 54 percent of women in lesbian relationships acknowledge violence in their current relationship, versus only 11 percent of heterosexual couples reporting violence, it becomes clear that domestic violence is not an outgrowth of male biology (Straus, 1999).

Case Study: Gillhespy's Story

There are some good men out there who will not hit back no matter what the woman does. This is an article that appeared in the April 20, 1997, edition of the Detroit News: He never hit back—and he never filed charges. But more shocking to Gillhespy are the reactions she encountered telling her story. "They told me I was the victim," said Gillhespy, 34, of Marquette. "There's no way any of this was his fault. ... I knew the difference between being the victim and being the perpetrator. I am ashamed of what I did." Gillhespy believes most people don't believe men can be victims. She knows they are wrong. "I think it is just as serious as violence against women—you just don't hear about it," Gillhespy says. "Maybe more men would come forward if you did." Gillhespy, who wed at 16, says she began beating her husband early in their 16-year marriage. Her former husband, reached by phone, declined to comment but confirmed that abuse took place.

Gillhespy's Path to Redemption

At the time, Gillhespy was a crack user, heroin addict, and alcoholic. She says she beat her husband in fits of rage, usually when she wanted money or the car. "I told him he was no good, and that he was a loser. I kicked him and threw things at him," she says. "I used him and used him and used him." The turning point came in February 1993, when Gillhespy struck two pregnant women in Grand Rapids while driving drunk. Gillhespy received 45 days in jail and was sent to a drug treatment program in Marquette. She has gotten a divorce, finished high school, and stayed sober. In a year, she will receive a degree from Northern Michigan University. Although Gillhespy now understands the issues that led her to violence, she says she accepts full responsibility for her actions. Her strength, she says, comes from admitting that she had a problem—and from trying to help others accept that domestic violence goes both ways. "I'm the other side of the coin," she says simply. "If you're abused, you're abused."

Conclusion

Strange as it sounds, some people fear that publishing a study about battered men might shift much-needed attention away from the abuse of women, the scope of which researchers agree is underestimated. But at least there have been attempts to document the battered woman problem. For instance, a new Johns Hopkins University survey of 3,400 women published in this week's JAMA finds that nearly four in 10 women surveyed in emergency rooms say they've been physically or emotionally abused in their lifetimes. Numbers like that are rare when it comes to abused men. In fact, many people believe that battered husbands are practically nonexistent. Or they believe that they're such a minute fraction, compared to the numbers of battered women, that they don't represent a trend that needs attention. But family violence expert Murray Straus says that abused men do exist, in higher numbers than we care to acknowledge (Straus, 1999).

References

Archer, J. (2000). Sex differences in aggression between heterosexual partners: A meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 126(5), 651–680.

Dutton, D. G. (2006). Rethinking Domestic Violence. UBC Press.

Straus, M. A. (1997). Physical assaults by women partners: A major social problem. In M. R. Walsh (Ed.), Women, Men, and Gender: Ongoing Debates (pp. 210–221). Yale University Press.

Straus, M. A. (1999). The controversy over domestic violence by women: A methodological, theoretical, and sociology of science analysis. In X. B. Arriaga & S. Oskamp (Eds.), Violence in Intimate Relationships (pp. 17–44). Sage Publications.