Analysis of My Intersectionality by Examining My Gender and Racial Identity

For this assignment, I explore my intersectionality by examining my gender in addition to my racial identity. At first, I questioned whether the critical moments concerning my race and gender that immediately crossed my mind would allow me to adequately examine how my experiences as a Caucasian female may impact my social work practice. I originally disregarded these events as being too ordinary to focus on in this critical autobiography, but after further reflection, I recognized that the learning processes and insights that stemmed from these experiences have shaped how I understand my identity and, as a result, how I make sense of my roles and responsibilities in my immediate relationships as well as in the broader scope of society.

I came to understand the privilege that accompanied my race starting in middle school. Although I did not yet have the language to describe these experiences, I remember a gradual, emerging awareness that my whiteness provided inherent opportunities that my friends of color were not provided. In sixth grade, I transferred from my local parochial school in Prince George’s County to a private, all-girls school in Montgomery County that I attended from sixth grade through high school. My new classmates were predominantly white and wealthy, and although the administration and faculty promoted diversity and acceptance, I recognized subtle and, at times, glaring differences in the way my fellow classmates treated students who differed from them racially, culturally, or socioeconomically. These differences were most pronounced in terms of race and ethnicity. During classroom discussions in high school, the students of color were often asked to provide the “African American viewpoint” on a topic. At first, given my privilege, I did not fully understand the implications of this behavior. It was not until my friends shared their frustration that I came to understand the absurd and offensive nature of asking an individual of color to speak for her entire race.

I realized that I was never asked to speak for all Caucasians because the white perspective was the dominant one in our society. After years of dealing with this request, several of my friends of color decided to broach the topic in our AP government class following a discussion on then-presidential candidate Barack Obama. Many white students immediately became defensive, blurting out justifications for this common practice. Several argued that they simply wanted to gain a deeper understanding of how the African American population felt about Obama. Many of my fellow students missed the entire point of the conversation. I am not implying that I had an innate understanding of privilege or of how these types of experiences affect people of color. As I mentioned, it did not cross my mind that this was a manifestation of white privilege. Racism was described to me as discriminatory beliefs and clear-cut actions that create disadvantages for certain groups, but I was never informed about “its corollary aspects, white privilege, which puts me at an advantage”.

Despite a lack of awareness or education, I reflect on the indignation several white students expressed when my classmates of color offered their nonjudgmental, personal perspective on the issue. Thus, this was a learning experience for me, not just about the situation at hand, but of how white people, including myself, react when confronted about our privilege. I carried this awareness with me to the University of Notre Dame, where similar situations occurred frequently. I now recognize that merely being aware of the implications of white classmates asking a student of color to describe “their” experience was not enough. The option to remain silent and not confront discriminatory beliefs and actions is yet another manifestation of privilege. As a white individual, I was born with the luxury of choice: to act; to remain ignorant; or to acknowledge a vague grasp of the issue but stay silent or completely remove myself from the situation. Looking back, I am disappointed in my reluctance to address the racial undertones of this classroom situation and the many similar ones that followed. I ask myself why I felt no responsibility to discuss the privilege surrounding these circumstances even after being directly informed about the personal and collective hurt they cause.

The evolution from a lack of awareness to a deeper understanding to using one’s privilege constructively is an essential process that I must continue to dedicate my focus and efforts on. It not only requires recognition of my privilege, but a sense of urgency and duty to advocate for others even when it places me outside of my comfort zone. As McIntosh (1989) suggests, the rigorous academic education I received offered “no training in seeing myself as an oppressor, as an unfairly advantaged person, or as a participant in a damaged culture”. It took experiences and conversations with others outside of the classroom to gain a deeper understanding of what privilege is, how it manifests in both critical events and subtle microaggressions, and how I can knowingly and unknowingly contribute to an unjust society through my privilege. The assumption that all people of color share the same views is not just offensive but represents a lack of awareness and a deeper issue of “us versus them” that contributes to a racially-charged society supported by harmful beliefs, practices, policies, and institutions. Furthermore, the defensiveness that accompanies being confronted indicates a sense of anger and fear that one will lose their privilege. I experience white privilege daily, and often without fully recognizing it, but I chose my classroom experience because it was a significant developmental milestone in my identity process and in my understanding of how I relate to the world around me. It helped me to recognize that I have an important role to play in dismantling the systems of bias, discrimination, and racism that pervade our society. Although it was not their responsibility to teach me about my privilege and I did not fully understand it at the time, my friends of color showed me that to be an ally, I could not simply graze the surface of awareness, but dig deeper to not only reach a point of frustration and anger but to use those feelings in combination with my privilege to call attention to injustices and demand change.

The second aspect of my identity I chose to explore in this critical autobiography is my gender because it has impacted how I have learned to understand and respond to experiences in which I feel marginalized and at a disadvantage. As I reflected on my gender identity, I not only considered more traumatic experiences but also became aware of common microaggressions I experience daily as a woman. Whether it is being told by men to smile more or to change my passionate tone because I am being too “hysterical, ” I recognize that my immense anger in the moment dissipates quickly due to how commonplace these experiences have become in our society. For too long, the culture of “boys will be boys” contributed to my practice of dismissing these microaggressions. I have only recently acknowledged that these seemingly minor and harmless words, behaviors, and beliefs contribute to societal norms and systems that not only accept but promote discrimination against marginalized and oppressed groups.

Due to Brett Kavanaugh’s recent Senate hearings, the last several weeks have been emotionally draining and challenging for me and countless others. In a heated conversation with a male acquaintance regarding the Kavanaugh hearing, I expressed my hurt, disappointment, and anger. I was not only told to calm down but was “mansplained” about the nature of sexual assault and his disbelief in Dr. Ford’s testimony due to her disclosure of brief memory lapses regarding the details of the night. He felt it necessary to spout his bigoted and unfounded opinions about women’s experiences of sexual assault. Despite the, dare I say, rage, coursing through my body, I calmly stated my points and respectfully asked to end the conversation. He felt compelled to inform me that I, as a woman, am too easily offended and prejudiced against the male sex. I am not ignorant of the fact that men are also sexually assaulted, which he also felt the need to explain to me as justification for his argument. Although this interaction enraged me, what I find more upsetting is that it is not uncommon. Gender discrimination is neither a new phenomenon nor limited to Washington DC, and yet, the blatant sexism that partisan politicians, who have been given the privilege of representing the people, expressed over the last several weeks resurfaced for me how it feels to be a woman in a male-dominated society.

Although this event is recent, I chose it because it reflects how I have learned to process and handle situations in which I feel discriminated against as a woman. For many years, I felt obliged to remain silent about gender issues so as not to appear emotional, vulnerable, or other attributes characteristically viewed as negative and strictly confined to the female sex. The many brave individuals speaking out against discrimination, sexual harassment, and violence against women have given voice to millions who have remained silent and continue to do so. Although I do not share my personal story with many people, I am learning to use my voice among family, friends, and acquaintances to call out systemic abuses perpetuated by the patriarchy and the vitriolic rhetoric used to instill anger and fear about possible threats to male power and privilege. I believe that certain circumstances I have experienced as a woman have encouraged me to remain informed, gather courage, and find my voice. Although I first developed these skills to advocate for women’s rights, I continue to hone them with other social justice issues I am passionate about, such as policy brutality and family separation. The personal experiences that led me to explore other unjust and discriminatory systems brought me to the field of social work and will continue to help me grow personally and professionally.

Understanding my intersectionality and the ways in which I experience privilege and marginalization may impact my practice with individuals and communities in several ways. I hope that through continuous self-evaluation and self-critique, I will remain mindful of implicit biases that may affect my practice on the micro, mezzo, and macro levels. For example, I currently feel strongly toward patriarchal systems that I believe dismiss or negate women’s experiences, attempt to control our reproductive rights, and promote discrimination through dangerous rhetoric and unjust policies. However, when I take a step back and examine the nuances of this issue, I recognize that it is not divided along gender lines; rather, many men support the cause for gender equality while many women contribute to the system of patriarchy. This is merely one example of why it is essential for me to reflect on if, when, and to what extent my personal beliefs and experiences affect my interactions with clients and communities. In addition, I recognize that I cannot compare my experiences as a white woman to those of women of color simply because we are female. Although many women have shared experiences due to gender, I cannot understand how it feels to be marginalized both racially and according to gender. This is another critical component of intersectionality that I must remain mindful of when working with clients who I may share one aspect of identity with but differ in others.

An evolving awareness of intersectionality will also help me to better understand how the world operates and which systems need intervention to create a more just and equitable society. Along with a deeper understanding of essential concepts like oppression and privilege, my sense of personal responsibility to utilize my unearned advantage to create waves has increased. If my awareness of the privileges and disadvantages innate to certain identities is not accompanied with a sense of outrage and further action, I will not only be an ineffective social worker but also contribute to a prejudiced culture that deepens the chasm dividing our society. I believe that through my classroom and field experiences and a commitment to self-reflection, I will become better equipped to not only engage in essential conversations about the complexities of privilege and oppression but also cultivate a deeper understanding of how the aspects of my identity impact my interactions with clients who are both similar and different from me. A valuable lesson that I have learned thus far in my classes at the University of Maryland School of Social Work is that of cultural humility. It is not possible for me to fully understand privilege and oppression at every level; instead, I must accept that I do not have all the answers and maintain a lifelong commitment to self-reflection, learning, and seeking actionable change.

Reflecting on and completing this assignment was a challenging experience as it required me to not only analyze past experiences but consider how my intersectionality may impact my practice. In discussing the example regarding my white privilege, I recognize that I have much to learn. As I mentioned, I must remain humble, accept that I do not have all of the answers, and acknowledge that I will never be able to fully understand how it feels to be a different race, ethnicity, culture, gender, sexual orientation, or religion. And yet, this inability to fully understand what it means to associate with an identity that is different from my own is not a free pass to dismiss others’ experiences and resign myself to a state of blissful ignorance and apathy. In a recent discussion with acquaintances, I experienced frustration and anger toward them regarding their blatant biases and refusal to consider a perspective that threatened their unearned power. I utilized my evolving understanding of the complexities of white privilege to counter their central argument, which boiled down to their belief that being white does not equate to a perfect life. I doubt that my words impacted these individuals, but I am grateful to have a growing awareness and vocabulary to formulate cohesive thoughts and actively participate in discussions such as these.

I found that it was easier to write about the aspect of my identity in which I feel marginalized, my gender, than it was to discuss my white privilege. After reflecting on this, I do not believe this related to my ability to identify an instance where my privilege offered unearned advantages, but rather the discomfort I felt acknowledging that my lack of awareness and refusal to act even when informed contributed to an unjust system. In addition, I worried about adequately articulating the experience without sounding pretentious or as if the process of understanding my privilege came easily to me. It did not; instead, it was a non-linear learning process that continues to unfold as I engage more deeply in self-reflection and with the world around me. When writing about the ways in which I feel marginalized and oppressed as a woman, I feared that I would appear too political. While the political sphere does play a role in developing, implementing, and maintaining unjust policies that contribute to a culture of discrimination and marginalization, my experiences as a woman are also a result of long-standing beliefs and ideologies that dominate societies, regardless of politics, all around the world.

In conclusion, this assignment, although uncomfortable at times, required me to take a deeper look into my intersectionality and consider the ways in which my race and gender may influence, consciously or unconsciously, how I engage with clients and systems. Although we learn about implicit biases as a general concept, critically reflecting on how my own intersectionality and biases could influence my practice as a future social worker was an insightful experience. As with the white privilege I experience, I must recognize how every aspect of my identity shapes my perspectives and then apply that awareness to self-correct implicit biases that may negatively impact my interactions with clients.