Being a Man by Paul Theroux and The Societies View and Expectations on Masculinity

The Dark Side of Masculinity

Many would argue that in modern society, women are expected to fit narrow and unreasonable roles in society. However, In Paul Theroux’s “Being a Man”, Theroux writes about the rigid expectations placed on men by society to conform to a narrow, inflexible definition of “manliness” that stifles men’s true selves and instead forces them into being restricted by society’s definition of masculinity that forces them them to belittle their own intelligence or exaggerate their perceived masculinity through physical outlets out of fear of appearing too weak or “soft”. Theroux argues that even in the post-feminism period in which he writes his essay, men, in particular younger boys and teenagers, are forced into this rigid and narrow definition of what being a man is supposed to be. Theroux notes that the feminist movement has essentially enabled him to write this piece, as feminism has allowed women to strive for equality and point out all of society’s failures in defining what it means to be a women, Theroux now similarly has been able to take a stand and write about all of society’s restrictive definitions of masculinity, which he accomplishes in his essay through his use of asyndetons, diction, and anaphora.

Theroux writes that the average “manly” attitude towards high school sports that most boys express is a recipe for “creating bad marriages, moral degenerates, sadists, latent rapists and just plain louts” (177). Theroux’s use of asyndeton through omitting the use of “and” between these examples of undesirable personality traits allows the reader to understand that all of these characteristics are linked, and are all instilled in boys collectively as they mature into men as an effect of the “manly” attitude that they are forced to adopt at an early age and subsequently integrate into themselves as a part of who they are. This example shows that by forcing men and boys to strive for certain goals, such as aspiring to be in ultimate physical shape or becoming star athletes, society forces them to inadvertently become some of the worst examples of what men can be, instead of being well-rounded, gentlemanly individuals, as a result of the extreme emphasis on physical performance placed on them.

Theroux further emphasizes his point that society’s definition of “manliness” is contrary to what it means to be a good person in the modern world when he states that the “quest for manliness” is “essentially right-wing, puritanical, cowardly, neurotic, and fueled largely by a fear of women” (177). Theroux’s use of diction here is helpful in understanding just how detrimental the traditional definition of masculinity is to men. “Puritanical” often refers to being very rigid in one’s moral or religious beliefs, while “neurotic” usually refers to mental instability. By using these specific words, Theroux shows that society’s definition of “manliness” is extremely narrow and outdated in its “Puritanical” beliefs, as well as being “neurotic” in it’s unrealistic expectations of the roles men are expected to fill within society.

Theroux continues to argue that being "manly" is an appalling, narrow, and outdated idea that forces men to be less than their full potential as humans when he says "It is the sinister silliness of men's fashion, and a clubby attitude in the arts. It is the subversion of good students. It is the so-called Dress Code of the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Boston, and it is the institutionalized cheating in college sports. It is the most primitive insecurity" (179). Through repeating “It is” in this anaphora, Theroux argues that by forcing men to conform to society's definition of "manliness", they are forced into acting unintelligent and cheating their way through life in fear of being seen as "soft" or weak. By forcing men to fit this narrow definition of masculinity instead of pursuing more intellectual outlets of expression, they are prevented from fulfilling their full potential as humans intellectually because they are pushed away from scholarly or humanistic interests like art and education and instead are pushed into caring more about their physical performance and appearance and trying their hardest to fit into society's definition of masculinity.

Theroux's critical tone of society's unreasonable, outdated and narrow definition of masculinity, achieved through his usage of asyndeton, diction, and anaphora emphasizes that he wants society to take action and work to change people's perceptions of masculinity so that men can be free to pursue interests that would allow them to fulfill their potential to explore forms of expression that allow them to be more well-rounded individuals, instead of obsessing over how they are perceived by society based on their interests.