Death of a Loved One: a Journey of Strength and Coping

Learning of a Loved One's Illness

For all my life, I have always known my family to be me, my sisters and my parents. My parents, coming from India, left behind all the things they cherished in search of better possibilities. Friends and family had been left behind for opportunity. As a result, I never really became familiar with my family in India. When my father fell ill it was revealed that he had acute myeloid leukemia. At the time I was 16 and I was devastated. My father was going to be taken away from me and I had to face a tragic death of a loved one. Because of this, my whole family dynamic changed. For the one-and-a-half years that spanned between his diagnosis and his death, I found myself constantly torn between supporting my dad, caring for my sisters, and looking after my own well-being. My family lived in limbo, wondering if he would get better and how the rest of us would possibly survive without the head of our family to guide us.

My mother had become the breadwinner for the household and could not afford to waste time. She began to work longer hours to provide for my entire family. There was no one to take care of me; I had to learn to take care of myself and others. I would often cook hot meals and do chores to not put stress on my parents. But day by day my father became weaker and weaker and eventually, we got the news that he only had a couple of months to live.

A lady from the Hospice Center came to the house and told us about the illness. I didn't want to believe her. This was my dad. I would never believe my dad would die at such an early age. I wish i had understood the severity of his diagnosis and spend more time with my him instead of running away from the problem at hand.

Faced with the Death of a Loved One

It is difficult to deal with the loss of a parent. It’s worse when you have to go through it at a young age, but eventually, one comes to deal with it. I still have my moments when I miss the sound of his voice. I’ll start to cry about not having my dad around when a lot of people have their dads, but I can’t keep wishing for him to come back. There was nothing we could do here on Earth. The death of my dad changed my whole perspective on life and death. I weep for the people who die but praise the people who God let walk on this Earth. Even if you prepare for someone’s death, you’re never really prepared for it. People can be taken form you at any moment. You just have to know that life is not promised and continue to love the person who’s dying until their very last day and every day after that. It hurts to know they’re gone, but with time the pain fades. You will be able to celebrate the good times you and that loved one had. After losing my dad, I have learned to respect and love everyone the way I want to be loved and respected. You never know what pain they have going on in their lives. (Many never knew the pain I was feeling while my dad was dying.) It was a struggle to get to this point, but I’m glad my family gave me the strength to overcome this dreadful experience and helped me find a lesson within it.