Defining Social Constructions of The Concept of 'Real' Masculinity

Definitions of what it means to be a successful man are socially and historically constructed, and they evolve based on changing material circumstances and gender systems. Masculinity, like femininity, is a social construction, there is nothing natural or God-given about these roles. It is a product of historical processes as much as a human construction as the pyramids or pewters. According to Catharine Stimpson, “to be masculine is to have a particular psychological identity, social role, cultural script, place in labour force, and sense of the sacred”. All these elements are socially constructed. In many cultures, displaying characteristics not typical of one's gender maybe a social problem as different societies write different scripts for their men. According to Connell, no single type of masculinity exists that fully encompasses every aspect of every male. This lack of singularity allows for greater flexibility in including other constructions of the gender, leaving greater focus on understanding of the whole person. Masculinity is not only the product of men. Also, it is not possible to locate the ways in which both masculinity and femininity exist. So, it is better to use the term 'gender' because it matters indicating the social hierarchy in which men dominate and subordinate women.

According to Pleck and Doyle, five major themes in the construction of masculinity have been noted in the predominant culture of the West. These themes include:

1. The first rule is: Don't be female. According to Brittan, whatever women do is ipso facto what a real man must do. He posits that Masculinity does not exist in isolation from femininity, it will always be an expression of the current image that men have of themselves in relation to women.
2. The second rule is: Be successful. Farrell posits that men are trained to be “success objects” and their worth as friends, husbands and simply as men is determined by their successfulness. Kohn explains further that “the object, a boy soon gathers, is not to be liked but to be envied” not to be a part of a group but to distinguish himself from the others in the group.
3. The third rule is: Be Aggressive. Brittan opines that from childhood, boys are encouraged to be tough, to fight and not to run away. These values have been encouraged by competitive sport, and in many cultures, military training reinforces them.
4. The fourth rule is: Be Sexual. According to Gaylin, Men are supposed to be sexually experienced, and to be always interested in sex. Wood says that “Sex isn't a free choice when you have to perform to be a man”.
5. The fifth rule: Be Self Reliant. According to Wood, “men are supposed to be confident, independent and autonomous, a real man doesn't need others, particularly women. He depends on himself, takes care of himself, and relies on nobody'.

Catharine Stimpson identifies three ways in which “real men” defines themselves: “they earn money in the public force and so support their families, they have formal power over the women and children in those families, they are heterosexual with the women they dominate and bully other men who are not heterosexual”. Fransella and Frost cited by Oakley gave another dimension to who a typical male should be: “someone that is aggressive; independent; unemotional or hides his emotions; is objective; easily influenced; dominant; likes maths and science; is not excitable in a minor crisis; is active; competitive; logical; worldly; skilled in business; direct; knows the ways of the world; is someone whose feelings are not easily hurt; is adventurous; makes decision easily; never cries; acts as a leader; is self-confident; is not comfortable about being aggressive; is ambitious; able to separate feelings from ideas; is not dependent; nor conceited about his appearance; thinks men are superior to women and talks freely about sex with men”.

According to Clines, in spite of who a “real man” should be, the society had better be opened to the possibility of a plurality of masculinities. Perhaps the society legitimated more than one way of being a man- though perhaps not, since social pressures tend towards uniformity rather than diversity. More significant is the fact that not all males, in whatever culture, conform with social norms. For example, the norms may privilege young, heterosexual, strong and physical men, and those who cannot be so characterized will be deviants from socially acceptable way of being a man. These men are still considered to be males. It is therefore pertinent to find in our society representation of conflicting masculinities.

In conclusion, toxic gender stereotypes about men have long been prevalent in our society, perpetuated by media, popular culture, and traditional gender roles. These stereotypes, such as the expectation that men should be aggressive, unemotional, and dominant, can have harmful effects on men's mental and physical health, relationships, and overall well-being. Men who don't conform to these stereotypes may be ostracized, marginalized, or stigmatized, leading to feelings of shame, isolation, and low self-worth.

It's essential to recognize and challenge toxic gender stereotypes about men, not only for the sake of individual men but for the betterment of our society as a whole. We must work towards creating a culture that values and supports men's emotional expression, vulnerability, and diversity. This includes providing resources for men to address mental health issues, promoting healthy relationship dynamics, and challenging harmful representations of men in media and popular culture.

Ultimately, by breaking down toxic gender stereotypes about men, we can create a more equitable and compassionate society that allows everyone to thrive, regardless of their gender or how they choose to express themselves. It's time to recognize that gender is a spectrum, and there is no one 'right' way to be a man. Only then can we truly embrace the full potential of human diversity and create a world that works for everyone.