close
test_template

Describing Myself as a Holiday Destination

download print

About this sample

About this sample

close

Words: 356 |

Page: 1|

2 min read

Published: Mar 19, 2020

Essay grade:
Poor
arrow downward Read Review

Words: 356|Page: 1|2 min read

Published: Mar 19, 2020

Essay grade:
Poor
arrow downward Read Review

I am a calm person who loves history, has traits of different cultures, a bit of a mystery kind of modern with a little adventure but with a lot to offer. Not saying am bipolar. Am diverse with a split personality that offers the best of all worlds,” no mediocre “I believe I can be the very best at whatever I set my mind to do. I would describe myself as Zanzibar. Zanzibar is an awesome holiday destination that basically doesn’t really choose who visits it, weather high or low budget. In a bungalow, five-star hotel, hostel or in a stilt house somewhere on one of the islands. It is still special and special memories are guaranteed. I have heard chats with various people from all walks of life who have visited the place and the st0ry remains the same the place is insanely beautiful and has everything to offer.

'Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned'?

Where do I begin? hospitality whether it’s a five-star resort or a regular hostel the host are always ready serve you. Sandy beaches, scuba diving, safari, rich history with traces of almost every race on this earth and not forgetting the great culture which is just icing on the cake. Am one person who always fits the part whether we meet at a party, school, family gathering, funeral or any other place I always stand out and will leave you with a story to tell, would always be comfortable and feel at home regardless of where I am. I remain accommodating to everyone no matter who you are, where you from, what you do for a living or what religion you are. To sum up I know its farfetched and you will never impress everyone you come across there is always room for improvement. No matter how I want to! I will never be as perfect as Zanzibar. My lifelong dream is to be. I really wish I become an all-rounder and be able to cater for everyone whom life puts in my path and everything I do has be perfect, satisfactory and leaves all of them with a story to tell just like Zanzibar.

Image of Dr. Oliver Johnson
This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Poor
What’s grading
minus plus
Expert Review
The essay attempts to describe the author's personality using an analogy to a holiday destination. However, the writing lacks coherence, with ideas presented in a disorganized manner. The essay jumps from one idea to another without clear transitions, making it difficult for the reader to follow. The language used is informal and lacks precision, with a few grammar errors and incorrect word usage. The writer's voice is not consistent, as the essay switches between first and third-person perspectives. Overall, the essay needs significant improvement in terms of organization, focus, grammar, and style.
minus plus
What can be improved
The essay's lack of organization is apparent from the opening statement, which attempts to describe the writer's personality in a single run-on sentence. The author should break the sentence down into smaller, more manageable pieces that better convey the intended message. For example, "I am a calm person who loves history, has traits of different cultures, a bit of a mystery kind of modern with a little adventure but with a lot to offer." can be rephrased as "I am a calm person who loves history and has an adventurous spirit. My diverse background has exposed me to different cultures, making me an open-minded individual with a modern outlook on life." Additionally, the essay needs clearer transitions between ideas. For instance, the sudden shift from discussing Zanzibar to the author's personality is abrupt and confusing. The author can provide more context on why Zanzibar is an apt analogy, providing examples of how the destination embodies the author's personality traits. The use of language is also problematic, as the essay is written in a casual, conversational tone. The author should use more precise and formal language to convey their ideas more effectively. For instance, the phrase "not saying am bipolar" is not only grammatically incorrect, but it is also inappropriate in an academic essay. Finally, the essay's style and voice need improvement. The author's use of first and third-person perspectives is confusing, and the writer's voice lacks consistency. The essay would benefit from a more consistent use of the first-person perspective, allowing the writer to express their personality more effectively. In conclusion, the essay requires significant improvement in terms of organization, focus, grammar, style, and voice. With some restructuring, precision, and attention to detail, the essay could provide a clearer picture of the author's personality traits and characteristics.

Cite this Essay

Describing Myself as a Holiday Destination. (2020, March 16). GradesFixer. Retrieved March 29, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/describing-myself-as-a-holiday-destination/
“Describing Myself as a Holiday Destination.” GradesFixer, 16 Mar. 2020, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/describing-myself-as-a-holiday-destination/
Describing Myself as a Holiday Destination. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/describing-myself-as-a-holiday-destination/> [Accessed 29 Mar. 2024].
Describing Myself as a Holiday Destination [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2020 Mar 16 [cited 2024 Mar 29]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/describing-myself-as-a-holiday-destination/
copy
Keep in mind: This sample was shared by another student.
  • 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
  • Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours
Write my essay

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

close

Where do you want us to send this sample?

    By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

    close

    Be careful. This essay is not unique

    This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

    Download this Sample

    Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

    close

    Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

    close

    Thanks!

    Please check your inbox.

    We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

    clock-banner-side

    Get Your
    Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

    exit-popup-close
    We can help you get a better grade and deliver your task on time!
    • Instructions Followed To The Letter
    • Deadlines Met At Every Stage
    • Unique And Plagiarism Free
    Order your paper now