Embracing Indecisiveness: The Power of Self-aware Decision Making

The Certainty in Indecisiveness

Vulnerable, horrified, overwhelmed, anxious, skeptical, nauseated, and powerless. These are just some of the feelings that people described to me, and what you feel when you are trying to make a decision during uncertain events that, well, just, come up, without warning. A Chinese proverb states, “If you want to know your past, look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future, look into your present actions and [decisions].” It feels great to be in the constant delusion that we are in control of our lives, right? But the truth is, deep inside, all of us are aware of our indecisiveness, that anything can happen, at any time. None of us knows about what lies ahead. This fact is nerve-wracking, so most people disregard it and ignore the only thing that is certain. Uncertainty.

Overcoming Fear of Making Decisions

Do you want to know why you fear uncertainty? We fear this only certain thing because we lack the ability to navigate through it. We lack the ability to decide what to do under pressure. We lack the ability to simply be decisive. Because of this, we crave security. we crave control, and we crave certainty. We want to know what is going to happen at all times, so we have time to make decisions, we have time to be indecisive and ponder in the idea, or we have time to just let others make them for us.

Just if you weren’t aware, indecisiveness in unforeseen situations will ruin your life. Every hour, every minute, and every second of every day, we run into situations where we have to make decisions. Think about it. Right now you are probably thinking about an infinite about of things that you want to make a decision about, without even knowing it. For example, asking “will I do my work today,” “should I cross my arms right now,” or “should I actually pay attention to this speech instead of daydreaming about food?” Although these choices feel simple, it isn’t that easy. Our indecision is driven by our fear of making the wrong choice. The fear that our choices have an uncertain result is wasting your time. Think of your decision making as different lenses - right and wrong. This might seem important, but the truth is, this sets boundaries for experiences. You might think that delaying making a decision is simply helping you keep your options open in case something arises. However, this mindset stops you from accomplishing things, and is holding you from encountering opportunities in your life that could help you. Soon, dwelling and delaying will result in you losing your chance to do something great. You might say, “what if I make the wrong decision? How would I be able to obtain a positive life-changing experience then?” If you were completely honest with yourself, you would realize that making the wrong decision and regretting it is a consequence of a lack of action on your part.

Recently, one of my friends regretted a decision she made about studying. She was unaware that the PSAT’s were coming up so soon. She wanted to study, knowing that studying would help her in the test. However, she was only contemplating the idea of studying because she thought there was not enough time for her to improve her previous scores. My friend was scared that while she would be studying, she would realize that she knew less than she thought. She was scared of feeling “stupidScared of being confronted with the idea that she doesn’t know “everything,” and unaware that anyone can improve at any time. Her contemplation eventually wasted her time and the PSAT’s got closer and closer. Until when she took the PSAT. She realized that there were so many things she could have learned that would benefit her during the test. My friend was so disappointed, and if she would have just decided, then she would not feel guilty and would have done better on the test, helping her get a scholarship.

Overcoming Indecisiveness

We all suffer from indecisiveness. I might be the one giving this speech, but even I constantly struggle with indecision. However, I have learned to do better. When hit with an unexpected event in life, make your decisions around your values. Become aware of what you value, become aware of your interests, and become aware of what makes you happy. When you are faced with unexpected situations you should be prepared to make decisions unconsciously by prioritizing things that are important to you.

Next time you are confronted with something you were not expecting, just let go of perfection. Your indecision is a result of looking for a perfect outcome. Learn that nothing will be perfect. Horrible, situations will arise no matter how hard you try to prevent the inevitable. Knowing that every decision has consequences, negative or positive. Having the ability to know that there will be outcomes to your decisions, and being prepared and ready, not saying anything might happen, but anything can happen will help you in times of need. Finally, if you do make a regretful decision that can’t be reversed, forgive yourself. Learn from your decisions about what works for you and what doesn’t.

Stop aiming for certainty because it is not possible. The only thing certain is uncertainty. Stop feeling vulnerable, stop feeling horrified, overwhelmed, anxious, skeptical, nauseated, and stop feeling powerless. Embrace uncertainty, and make self-aware decisions before you realize “it’s too late.”     

Works Cited

1. Gilbert, D. T., & Wilson, T. D. (2007). Prospection: Experiencing the Future. Science, 317(5843), 1351-1354.
2. Sweeny, K., Carroll, P. J., & Shepperd, J. A. (2006). Is Optimism Always Best? Future Outlooks and Preparedness. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 15(6), 302-306.
3. Wegner, D. M., & Wenzlaff, R. M. (1996). Mental Control. In S. T. Fiske, D. L. Schacter, & C. Zahn-Waxler (Eds.), Annual Review of Psychology (Vol. 47, pp. 49-66). Annual Reviews.