Family Conflict and Effective Communication

After reading about Eric and Chandra’s conflict, I believe that numerous issues are contributing to the conflict. Some of the problems include Eric’s inability to hold down a job, lack of assistance with the household duties, and being a bad father to 4-year-old Brad, thus, being a stranger to their son. These stressors might contribute to the hidden issue of boredom concerning the deadening routines, repetitive conversations, and arguments making partners grow apart in their relationship. Based on the case information, Eric never had time for his family. Chandra had to live an isolated life contemplating these issues. The event, which did trigger these issues, is the specialized training Eric attended. During this period, Chandra had an opportunity to get together with friends a few times while experiencing the components of a relaxed social setting. These developments would prompt her to ask for a divorce from Eric upon his arrival from training.

Based on the transcript, Chandra and Eric focus on utilization of different conflict styles. For instance, Chandra focuses on the utilization of the compromise conflict style, which relates to the give-and-take approach in dealing with the issue. The compromise approach aims at splitting the difference. In the transcript, Chandra knows that Eric has been able to promise to change before; this offers him one more chance to change or she leaves, thus, incorporation of the compromise conflict style. Alternatively, Eric demonstrates the acquiescence conflict style in which he gives in to prevent the conflict from getting too intense. Eric’s approach demonstrates an 'I lose-you win' situation. For example, Eric promises to be a good father while helping more around the house regardless of claiming to be tired all the time from working so hard.

Effective Communication Issues

Effective communication is a critical element in the realization of quality and healthy marriage. Nonetheless, numerous couples do not know sorts of communication mistakes they make in their interactions. Based on the transcript, the prevalent communication issue concerning Eric and Chandra is blame. This issue mainly occurs when one spouse engages in pointing out that the other is at fault regarding the conflict, thus, substantive interference with the communication. In appropriate cases, effective communication would translate to the tackling of the problem with the objective of solving it together, as a couple. In the transcript, Chandra blames Eric for the conflict by terming her ineffective in helping with the household chores, being a stranger to their son, and failing to hold onto the job. Similarly, there are elements of triangulation, which relates to the integration of a third party on the conflicting issues. In spite of not coming out clearly in the transcript, there are high chances that Chandra did mention something to do with their problem in those mentioned above relaxing social contexts. There is also flooding in which Chandra bombards Eric with negativity during the communication.

Resolving the Conflict

In the course of resolving the conflict, Eric and Chandra should focus on the clarification of the disagreement, which would require both parties to collaborate on agreeing on the disagreement. In this initial phase, the parties need to discuss needs not being met on both sides for mutual understanding. In the second phase, there is a need for Eric and Chandra to facilitate the establishment of a common goal based on the desired outcome of the situation. The commonality might demonstrate simplicity as both parties desiring an end to the conflict. Thirdly, Eric and Chandra need to focus on discussing or exploring ways to meet a common goal, thus, effective listening, communication, and collective brainstorming. In the fourth phase, the two should assess potential barriers to the achievement of the goal, thus, the consequential interaction of getting around the blocks. The next step would be an agreement between Eric and Chandra on the best way to solve the conflict. This would provide the platform for the final stage, which relates to the acknowledgment of the solution and responsibilities of each party in the achievement of the desired outcome.

Recommendations

I would suggest that Eric respects the demand for space by Chandra, who has gone to stay with a girlfriend to 'see what she wants to do about the marriage.' This valuable space will provide the opportunity for each other to assess why they love each other. The approach will also contribute to the deepening of the relationships outside the primary relationship. It is also possible for the two parties to engage in active listening while focusing on the utilization of the ‘I’ statements rather than ‘you’ statements (Stinson, et al., 218). These practices will contribute to the adoption of the two-winner bargaining strategy for the well-being of Chandra and Eric, as well as Brad.

Works Cited

1. Stinson, Morgan A., et al. "Marital Satisfaction, Conflict Resolution Styles, and Religious Attendance among Latino Couples: Using the Actor–Partner Interdependence Model." The Family Journal 25.3 (2017): 215-223.