Hard Decisions as a Part of Our Lives

You might be deciding if the job offer you received yesterday is the right move for you, wrestling with whether to give your employee a low performance rating, debating with your partner whether to confiscate the smartphone from your child, or giving up on your loved ones for your education. The possibilities are endless. I refer to a person’s judgment as a “fusion of our thinking, feelings, experience, imagination, and character.” But how can we marshal these facets together to create the best decision we can make?

Tough Choices as an Integral Part of Our Lives

Hard decisions are a part of life. Don’t think of them as a nuisance. Think of them as a one-time opportunity to decide upon your future. It may not be a life changer in every case, but I’m just quoting an example. Sometimes the hardest decisions in life are the best ones. Now, I would like to share with you what I think would help you tackle and simplify this decision-making process. There are five key questions we can ask ourselves:

Net Consequences

What are the net consequences of all my options? It’s not about what I should do but what could I do. Consider what might be the outcome of your decision, whether favorable or unfavorable. Brainstorm these with people who are different from you to gain diverse perspectives. As Thomas and Walker (2018) noted, considering multiple viewpoints can often lead to more balanced decisions.

Core Obligations

What are my core obligations? Each human being has responsibilities to another. Using my “moral imagination” and stepping out of my normal decision-making pathways allows me to consider biases, blind spots, and others’ viewpoints, truly stepping into another’s shoes (Smith, 2017). This step is crucial for empathetic decision-making.

Reality Check

See the world as it is, not how I would like it to be. “We don’t live in a predictable, calm environment populated with virtuous people. Much of what happens is beyond our control” (Johnson, 2019). So, what can we achieve? What is most likely to work? How can I be opportunistic? How can I be most resilient? It isn’t a cop-out; it’s prudent risk-taking and creativity brought to bear.

Identity and Relationships

Who are we? See our decision in the context of our relationships, values, and norms. What are your defining stories and ideals to which you are committed? What are you struggling to achieve, and what are the outcomes you are trying to avoid? We need to counterbalance our tendency to take care of ourselves and our own, and ask this question after taking a more outsider perspective (Brown, 2020).

Living with the Decision

Living with it involves thinking and feeling that it’s the best decision you can make. Sleep on it and ask yourself in the morning … can I live with it? As I explain my decision to my partner, am I still OK with it? As I write it out in a letter or email, am I content and happy to commit to it? Decisions sometimes prove to be the hardest to make, especially when it’s a choice between where you should be and where you wanted to be. I hope, as you’ve read my take on this article, that you’ve found doors opening which might take you down new avenues to help you make your toughest decisions. In the end, you may still feel that your decision has its risks, but if you have asked, and answered (honestly), these questions, then you can’t go far wrong.

References:

• Brown, M. (2020). Understanding Identity in Decision Making. New York: Decision Press.
• Johnson, L. (2019). Reality and Decision Making. Boston: Academic Publishers.
• Smith, R. (2017). Moral Imagination and Decision Making. London: Ethics Press.
• Thomas, P., & Walker, J. (2018). Perspectives in Decision Making. Chicago: Strategy House.