Genogram Analysis: Modern Family Dynamics

Introduction

The “traditional” nuclear family is often depicted as a tree. At the top are two grandparents, extending next to a generation of coupled up heterosexual adults, followed by the youngest generation. Each branch seems to be appropriately connected, lacking any flaws, cracks, or separated limbs. However, for better or for worse, this “traditional” family tree is no longer the norm. With many families of the 21st century no longer fitting the nuclear family model of the 1950’s, society is grasping the more modern family dynamic. Families can be created through adoption, children can be raised by gay parents, or in my case, families can be broken apart by divorce and rebuilt with stepparents and stepsiblings. This paper will provide a three-generation genogram of my family that illustrates strong alliances and boundaries within my family system. It will illustrate certain times in my childhood that exemplify how my family system operated in terms of subsytems, rules, and intergenerational patterns. Lastly, it will identify one underlying theme within my family that has impacted the way in which we seperate ourselves from the nuclear family model.

Use of a Genogram

As a social worker, genograms will become critical tools when it comes to understanding relationships within a family system. My family genogram was a helpful tool for me as I identified the complexity of my own family lineage, as well as some patterns within the system. 

Subsystems in a Genogram

Family systems theory views family as a social system. Rather than viewing each family member as an individual, they are considered as part of an overall context (Collins, Jordan & Coleman, 2013). Within family systems theory, members of the family are interdependent as they are affected by one another (Collins, Jordan & Coleman, 2013). Understanding these patterned relationships can help one to identify the strengths and weaknesses of a family system. Most systems have subsystems. Distinct roles or tasks exist within every subsystem (Hutchinson, 2017). Within the traditional nuclear family, there is typically a parental subsytem, sibling subsytem, marital subsystem, and extended family subsystem (Hutchinson, 2017). My parents got a divorce when I was eight years old. Prior to their seperation, each subsystem within the family was strong and adhered to it’s specifc function. With increased tension in my parent’s marriage, their parental subsystem began to weaken. The family was no longer balanced and healthy, and my brother and I faced the repercussions. Our mom and dad directed mcuh of their focus to stabilizing their own marital subsystem, and less of their attention toward us. This only made our sibling subsystem stronger. We became allies, and kept each other company in the midst of dysfunction. Eventually, we began to value extended family support. My grandmother compensated for the parental deficiency and became a source of strength for my brother and I. In this case, my grandmother was brought in from the extended family subsystem into the parental subsystem. This experience exemplifies how our traditional family structure had to be altered in order to meet my brother and I’s needs for guidance, support, and nurturance.

Boundaries of Family Structure

A family structure is maintained by boundaries. External boundaries distinguish the family system as a whole from other systems, while internal boundaries delineate subsystems within the family (Fish & Priest, 2011). Boundaries can be adaptive, rigid, or diffuse. In terms of internal boundaries, adaptive boundaries represent highly functional families (Fish & Priest, 2011). Rigid boundaries exist when members of a family are isolated from eachother, and diffuse boundaries blur the lines between certain subsystems. It is important to consider boundaries between family subsystems because problems often arise when the roles or tasks of each subsystem become blurred with those of other subsystems (Theyer, 2012). This would indicate a diffuse boundary between subsystems. In the context of my family, we distiguish subsystems by generations and their functions. I am part of a sibling subsystem. As an older sister, I have been providing nurturing and emotional support since the day my brother was born. Since my parents worked long hours, I was responsible for picking him up from school, driving him to various after-school sports and playdates, and sometimes preparing dinner for him. My role has changed slightly since he has grown, which has led to conflict. When he was younger, I was given the right to make rules for him and made sure he abided by them when he was under my care. Now that he is older, independent, and more mature, conflict tends to arise when I try to overbear my authority over him. What I came to realize was that our sibling subsystem became blurred with the focus and tasks of a parental subsystem. I took on more of a maternal role than a sibling role, so it became hard for me when I had to seperate myself from being his sibling versus being an authoritative figure. A diffuse boundary existed between subsystems, and thus, I became parentified at a young age.

Family Rules

My family’s identity can also be defined by our family rules. Different privileges, rules, obligations, and roles are assigned to each member of the family through recurring patterns of behavior that are developed out of family interaction (Day, 2010). Rules consist of behaviors or commonly shared beliefs that each member is expected to live by. Rules help maintain and regulate relationships and the dynamic of the whole group. Implicit rules are unspoken rules that hold power and delegate a family’s day-to-day interactions (Day, 2010). One implicit rule that can be explored within my family is the extent by which we follow traditional household gender roles. Since every person plays a different role, some do not play the role they are traditionally expected to play. Many families are expected to adhere to traditional gender roles, with the male provider working outside the home and the female provider working in the home as the primary caretaker. My parents, however, make it a point that my brother and I do not follow such expectations. Although this may not seem like a rule up front, it regulates the ways in which my parents chose to socialize my brother and I. We were expected to carry out an equal amount of chores, and were encouraged to try all kinds of sports. My brother and I would strive to do our best in school, and were both forced to get jobs in highschool. When I wanted to help cook, my brother would be told to help as well. These patterns emerged through the way my family operated. My dad, for example, is not the typical breadwinner. He is that and much more. When my parents divorced, he took on both a mother and father figure for my brother and I. He brought in money, but came home to make dinner and spend time with us every night. In contrast, my mom prioritized her work and was rarely home. In my family, this dynamic is expected was considered the norm, just as every other family has their unique systems. This family rule still guides the way I live, and will likely carry on as I raise my own children someday.

Rules can also relate to certain commmunication patterns that regulate interactions within the family (Galvin, 2016). In my family, individual opinions are welcomed and encouraged. However, as with any open system, my family comes with a set of communication rules in order to maintain and regulate the dynamic of the whole group. These rules can be constitutive or regulative. In other words, they define why something cannot be said or done, or they can specify how, when, where and with whom it is appropriate to talk about certain topics (Galvin, 2016). One constitutive and implicit rule with my extended family is to refrain from talking about politics. There is a lot of disagreement regarding this issue, so over time we have come to know that rather than delving into arguments, we should avoid the topic altogether when the whole family gets together. Although it is one of the more minor rules, it is an important component to maintaining harmony within the family.

Underlying Theme of a Genogram

I have identified a few underlying themes within my family, but the most significant one is gender roles and the way we have created our own norm when it comes to role configuration. I discussed my dad’s dual roles as a hardworking man as well as a caretaker, while my mom dedicates every ounce of her being to her job. In addition, my grandmother lost her husband when she was just thirty years old, which meant she had to continue caring for her three boys while she worked to make ends meet. She had to be a mother and a father, which is exactly how she ended up raising my dad. My brother and I had the priviledge of being raised the same way, and I value my perspective of gender equality.  

Works Cited

1. Collins, J. M., Jordan, C., & Coleman, H. L. K. (2013). Family Genograms: An Overview. Journal of Contemporary Family Therapy, 35(3), 365-373.

2. Hutchinson, M. K. (2017). The Family: A Conceptual Approach. Sage Publications.

3. Fish, J. M., & Priest, R. F. (2011). The Relational Systems Model for Family Therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 37(1), 1-13.

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4. Theyer, J. (2012). The Family Life Cycle: Family Dynamics in Individual Development. Routledge.