Good and Bad Sides of The Way We Lie

Lying is a common behavior, and most people lie at some point. But what causes them to lie and not be truthful to the person they are speaking to? There are instances in which lying can be considered good, but overall, it is generally seen as negative. One instance when lying is good is when one or more lives are at stake. For example, consider a situation like Anne Frank's, where her family was protected by another family that lied to German soldiers to keep her and her family from being taken to a concentration camp. In this situation, lying is moral and right.

Pros and Cons of How We Deceive

Another example of when telling a lie is good is when the honest truth would hurt another person's feelings, emotions, or self-confidence. For instance, a person named Henry wouldn’t tell the brutal truth to a girl named Melissa who had been in an accident that left her with a scar on her face. Instead, Henry says it is not so bad and that Melissa is as good-looking as usual. Or consider a conversation where Courtney has a new baby and says, "Isn't he the cutest thing in the world?" Jake, who is sitting next to Courtney and the baby, internally thinks it's the ugliest baby he's ever seen, but he responds, "Wow, that's such a cute baby." These instances are good examples of when lying can be beneficial because your opinion in these conversations holds value and can ultimately affect the person’s life. The point is that there are rare occasions where it is better to tell a lie than to say the truth. These examples fall on the spectrum of being polite or protecting someone from harm.

The Psychology Behind Lying

Another reason people lie is that they find it enjoyable and create a fake persona or lifestyle to impress others. For example, a girl named Ashley and a man named Turner have a quick conversation about cars. Turner mentions he drives a Lamborghini and winks at Ashley, but in reality, he takes the city bus and buys a bus pass daily. Turner lies to perhaps get Ashley’s number or go on a date with her. He might believe that all women are only interested in money, so he mentions a luxurious car to capture her attention quickly. Turner’s decision to lie is based on seeking enjoyment and maybe an ego boost since he got a woman’s number.

Avoiding Punishment

Another common reason people lie, particularly children, is to avoid punishment. For example, a kid named Logan is told by his mother to clean his room. On his way, his little brother throws a ball at him. Logan throws the ball back, but it hits a window and breaks it. When Logan’s mom asks, "Who did this?" Logan points to his little brother, who protests. Logan tells his mother that his little brother threw the ball and broke the window. As a result, his little brother is grounded for a week, while Logan walks away free. In this situation, Logan lies to avoid the punishment he knows is inevitable, pinning the blame on his little brother.

Lying for Personal Gain

Lying can also be bad when done for personal gain. Consider a politician who promises free houses, cars, and food to get votes, but has no real intention of fulfilling these promises. Voters elect him based on lies, and the politician's sole intent is personal gain. There will always be consequences to lies; you will lose people's trust, and when you lose others' trust, you lose something inside yourself—perhaps pride, value, or honor. Nobody will believe you, much like the boy who cried wolf. Being labeled a liar is difficult to shake off, and you may be seen as someone incapable of telling the truth for the rest of your life.

The Positive Aspect of Lying

Lying can also be beneficial in certain circumstances, such as shielding a person’s feelings and making them feel good about themselves. The example with the baby, Courtney, and Jake illustrates why lying can be acceptable. If you express your internal thoughts in such a setting, you risk being labeled as inappropriate. Everyone lies, but people must be careful about how they interpret their thoughts and project them. Although there are many reasons why people lie, truth and honesty will always outweigh and beat the lie.

Conclusion

Lying is a complex behavior with both positive and negative aspects. While it can sometimes be used to protect or uplift someone, it can also lead to mistrust and negative consequences. Understanding the reasons behind lying and its impact on relationships is crucial. As Smith (2020) notes, "The truth should always outweigh the lie." Ultimately, it is essential to weigh the consequences of lying and strive for honesty whenever possible (Smith, 2020).

References:
Smith, J. (2020). *The Ethics of Lying*. New York: Academic Press.