I Hate You, Squidward Tentacles

Dear Squidward Tentacles,

When I was growing up watching spongebob, I absolutely despised you and I still do to this day, and I am not sorry about that. As a kid, you were my most hated and least favorite character in 'Spongebob Squarepants' and in all animated shows in general. I didn't like you because how you treated everyone in the show, rude and disrespectful. You were very disinterested in your job and you only really enjoyed playing the clarinet, which you were really bad at, so bad in fact that I had to mute my TV every time I knew you were going to play. You are the most selfish animated character I have ever witnessed in all my time watching TV shows other than Stingy in LazyTown.

Every time I saw you in pain or discomfort I laughed, like the episode when Spongebob and Patrick annoyed you so much that you crawled under that chair cried. I felt like because of your negative attitude towards everyone in the show that wasn’t famous or someone you idolized, you deserved. Every time I saw you in an episode with your disgusting attitude I thought, 'why did they even make him a character?' In my mind, you didn't fit into the show. You were too much of a Debbie Downer.

Now, I realize who you represent. You are that one 30 year old who graduated college or are still in college. Even though you have a degree, you are at a dead end job that pays minimum wage. Your co-workers are teenagers who haven't seen how unfair the job field is. You have a single passion, but even though you love it, everyone tells you that it won't get you anywhere in life (this is true for you), and that you can't make a career out of it.

You don't really hate Spongebob, you envy him because he still has such a positive outlook. It is just hard for you to deal with someone so positive all the time because you know how hard life can be. I somewhat understand that, but when I was a kid I thought it was just plain rude and that you truly hated him just because he was happy all the time and you didn’t have the mental capacity to be happy yourself. I have a few Spongebob’s in my life, and I respect you for how long you have had to put up with his BS.

Now that I think about it I am very sorry for every bad thing I ever thought about you and every bad thing that happened to you, like your toenail being ripped off because of Spongebob's incompetence, Squidward. As I child, I hated you and as a young adult, I realize why you were always so angry at Spongebob and everyone else.

I started off this letter telling you how much I hated you as a child and how much I hated you now, until I realized why you were always rude and angry, why you are so selfish and irritated, and why Spongebob’s happiness angers you as well as your job, I realized while writing this letter that you’re just trying to get by and fulfill your dream and I hope you do. I really am sorry.