The Concepts of Love and Marriage in Pride and Prejudice

In the realm of discussing marriage in "Pride and Prejudice," Jane Austen's famous opening line, "It is a universal truth, widely recognized, that a prosperous single man must be in search of a spouse," serves as a satirical introduction to a concept somewhat detached from love in 19th-century England. This essay delves into how the novel does not commence with a man deeply in love seeking a wife; rather, it asserts that men, at a certain stage in life, become ready for marriage and then seek a wife. Austen humorously parodies this rather unromantic view of matrimony, offering readers a parable-like narrative on marriage, emphasizing that love is the only genuine foundation for wedlock within the context of marriage in "Pride and Prejudice." Austen presents four marriages, each driven by different motivations, including lust, financial stability, beauty, and, most importantly, love, making it a central theme in the essay's exploration of the novel.

The Depiction of Marriage in "Pride and Prejudice"

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet

In contrast to other marriages in the novel, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet's union is based on Mr. Bennet's attraction to Mrs. Bennet's beauty. Furthermore, their marriage is portrayed in its later years, marked by obvious dissatisfaction and failure. While their marriage may have appeared promising in their youth and naivety, it becomes clear that once Mrs. Bennet's beauty fades, and their true characters are revealed, their marriage falters. Elizabeth reveals that "her father, captivated by youth and beauty, and that appearance of good humor, which youth and beauty generally bestow, had married a woman whose weak understanding and narrow-mindedness had put an end to all genuine affection at a very early stage." As described in the first chapter by Austen, their personalities are clearly incompatible: "Mr. Bennet was such a strange combination of quick wit, sarcastic humor, reticence, and caprice that twenty-three years of marriage had proved insufficient for his wife to understand him. Her mind was less challenging."

They do not share a harmonious relationship, frequently insulting or disregarding each other. Their lack of stability and compatibility has had a detrimental impact on their children. In a typical exchange, Mrs. Bennet laments, "You delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves," to which Mr. Bennet retorts sarcastically, "You misunderstand me, my dear. I hold your nerves in high regard. They are my old friends. You have mentioned them with consideration for at least twenty years." The combination of Mr. Bennet's indifference and Mrs. Bennet's frivolity has resulted in their three youngest daughters growing up without significant intelligence or seriousness, devoting their time to pursuing military officers. Therefore, Mr. and Mrs. Bennet have not only harmed each other but have also failed their daughters and their upbringing through their imprudent behavior.

Charlotte and Mr. Collins

Charlotte and Mr. Collins's union represents the most typical type of marriage during this era. Elizabeth goes against this pragmatic and dispassionate approach to marriage, risking becoming an old maid by being selective but ultimately securing a more favorable match. Charlotte and Mr. Collins marry for purely practical reasons. Although Mr. Collins's proposal to Charlotte is not detailed, his proposal to Elizabeth reveals his misunderstanding of the essence of marriage. He tells her:

"My reasons for marrying are, first, that I think it is the right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set an example of matrimony in his parish. Secondly, I am convinced it will greatly contribute to my happiness, and thirdly... it is the particular advice and strong recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honor of calling my patroness."

Charlotte's pragmatic view of marriage becomes evident after she accepts Mr. Collins's proposal, as she reflects that he "was neither sensible nor agreeable; his society was irksome, and his attachment to her must be imaginary. But still, he would be her husband." Her practical outlook, considering the society she lives in, acknowledges that "at the age of twenty-seven, without ever having been considered handsome, she felt extremely fortunate." She cannot afford to be overly choosy, as she risks ending up as an old maid. While we may view marriage without love as a worse fate than a solitary life, in the 19th century, most women considered living as a poor single woman to be the worst possible outcome.

Lydia and Wickham

Another example of an ill-matched union is Lydia and Wickham's marriage, largely due to Lydia's frivolousness. Lydia recklessly elopes with Wickham, risking her own and her family's reputation. Although Lydia believed they were eloping to get married, "neither her virtue nor her understanding would save her from becoming an easy target," and she is too imprudent to realize that Wickham has no intention of marrying her. To safeguard the reputation and honor of the Bennet family, Mr. Darcy generously bribes Wickham to marry Lydia. One can imagine the kind of marriage that results from such terms. Elizabeth observes that "Wickham's affection for Lydia was exactly as [she] had expected to find it - not equal to Lydia's for him." Lydia clearly never considered spending her life with Wickham, typical of her flighty nature. She foolishly boasts to her embarrassed and distressed family upon her return after the marriage, "When I went away, I'm sure I never dreamed of being married until I came back! Though I thought it would be great fun if I were." While the reader does not witness their marriage beyond the initial "honeymoon" phase, if it can be called that, foreshadowing hints at their impending misery.

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy

The marriage between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy serves as a stark contrast to these other unions in every aspect. Their relationship evolves throughout the novel, featuring compatible personalities, mutual character improvement, and a profound love and respect for each other. Their relationship begins with great animosity, triggered by their initial encounter when Mr. Darcy dismisses Elizabeth, saying, "She is tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt me." From then until near the end of the novel, Elizabeth firmly believes Mr. Darcy to be "the proudest, most disagreeable man in the world." While Darcy's feelings towards Elizabeth change quickly after their second dance, during which he requests Elizabeth's hand and she refuses, Elizabeth remains distant for some time.

Their growth as a couple and as individuals is evident when comparing Darcy's first proposal to his second. In Darcy's first proposal, his most disdainful traits - pride and class consciousness - are conspicuous. He makes it abundantly clear that he did not wish to marry her and attempted to suppress his growing affection for her due to her lower status. The narrator comments that "his sense of her inferiority, the perceived degradation, and the family obstacles that judgment had always raised against inclination were dwelled upon with warmth." His pride is also evident as he exhibits no genuine fear or concern that his proposal might be rejected; he views his proposal to Elizabeth as an outcome she could never expect or dare to refuse. Elizabeth perceives during his proposal that "he had no doubt of a favorable response. He mentioned apprehension and anxiety, but his demeanor exuded unwavering confidence." Although Elizabeth's rejection and aversion to Mr. Darcy do not come as a surprise, given his previous behavior towards her, she also harbors significant prejudice towards him, even acknowledging herself that before he played a role in separating Jane and Bingley, she had already formed a negative opinion of him. Her unfavorable impression of him primarily resulted from his association with Wickham, based on the story he told her, later revealed to be entirely false.

In Darcy's second proposal, it becomes evident that their feelings towards each other have undergone significant changes, and they have both evolved as individuals through their interactions. Darcy exhibits less class consciousness, warmly engaging with the Gardiners at Pemberley, despite their lower social standing. He also displays less pride in his appeals to Elizabeth. Elizabeth, after reading Darcy's letter and observing him more closely and impartially, recognizes that, despite his flaws, Darcy is a good man, and she had rushed to judgment, often forming opinions based on second-hand information. His proposal is markedly different, as he expresses his love and admiration for her without dwelling on their class differences and his supposed superiority. When Elizabeth informs him of her changed feelings, Darcy responds like a man deeply in love: "The happiness that this reply brought was likely unparalleled in his experience, and he expressed himself with all the sensibility and warmth one might expect from a man passionately in love." Darcy aptly summarizes the transformation both characters have undergone when he admits, "Though your accusations were unfounded, based on erroneous premises, my behavior towards you at the time deserved the severest reprimand. I was unpardonable." It is clear that both Darcy's pride and Elizabeth's prejudice have dissipated, leaving them destined for happiness in their future together.

Conclusion

In "Pride and Prejudice," Austen offers an exemplary alternative to marriages rooted in economic security, lust, and the pursuit of beauty through the unions of Elizabeth and Darcy and, of course, Jane and Bingley. While more challenging to attain, these marriages are likely to fare much better than the others because they are founded on genuine love and respect. Austen further reinforces her viewpoint by having women who marry for love wed much more handsome and affluent men than those who opt for pragmatic marriages. Austen concludes her novel by assuring readers that finding love and marriage is possible, no matter how daunting or improbable it may seem.

Works Cited

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