Navigating The Myths and Realities of Effective Counseling

Part A - “The effective counselling” (15%) #Good evening guys and how is you all feeling today. Wish you all fine and happy today.

If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, its counseling. That’s what most of the people think about counseling. It is not entirely false but counseling is not solely on giving advice, in fact counselors don’t give advice. We just help the clients to find the right path. There are so many implications to define counseling. For me, it’s an interaction in a therapeutic setting that characterized by an explicit agreement between a counselor and client to meet in a certain private setting, at agreed times and under disciplined conditions of confidentiality with ethical parameters, protected time and specified aims. It is widely accepted that counseling may be a more suitable form of help for variety of personal problems or concerns, the most common being depression, anxiety, bereavement, relationship difficulties, life crisis and traumas, addictions, confusion and other negative conditions or it may be more proactively and educationally to learn for example how to relax, be more assertive, deal with stress and lead a more fulfilling life.

The counseling process is a planned, structured dialogue between a counselor and a client. It is a cooperative process in which a trained professional helps a person called the client to identify sources of difficulties or concerns that he or she is experiencing. It’s a progressive movement towards an ultimate conclusion in which consist a series of five steps. The first step is relationship building that focuses on engaging the clients to explore issues that directly affect them. First interview is essential because client is reading the verbal and nonverbal messages and makes inferences about the counselor and the counseling situation. While the counselor and client are in the process of establishing the relationship, the second step will take place which is problem assessment. This step is involves the collection and classification of information about the client’s life situation and reasons for seeking counseling.

The third is very important one, goal setting which is also the backbone of a successful counseling. It’s all about making a commitment to a set of conditions, to a course of action or an outcome. The next step is counseling intervention. There are different points of view concerning what a good counselor should do with clients depending on the theoretical positions that counselor subscribes to. Each of the theoretical approach suggests different types of interventions. For example, the person-centered approach suggests that the counselor gets involved rather than intervenes by placing emphasis on the relationship. The behavioral approach attempts to initiative activities that help clients alter their behavior. All counseling aims towards successful termination. Terminating the counseling process will have to be conducted with sensitivity with the client knowing that it will have to end.

There are many qualities one has to acknowledge to become an effective counselor. One of the very important qualities is empathy. Empathy means that the therapist senses accurately the feelings and personal meanings that the client is experiencing and communicates this acceptant understanding to the client. Counselors help clients make and implement important decisions in life. Most decision making involves an emotional dimension. The person who understands his or her inner realm consisting of memories, hopes, fears and dreams, will have a better insight of who he or she is which hopefully will lead to better decisions. The inner realm is often called the person’s inscape. Empathy is intimate participation in the inscape of another and often confused with sympathy.

Next would be active listening. Most of the time we listen with only part of our attention. While the other person is talking, we are thinking of something else. “I have to finish that report by tomorrow” When listening to emotionally intense stories, we may get caught up in our own emotional reactions, how we would feel if we were in similar situation. To listen empathically, you have to set aside as much as you can of your own “stuff” and enter the world of the client. Let your client know you are listening. Listening is absolutely necessary for counseling but not sufficient. You could listen intently but the client needs is to know that they are being heard to assure them that telling you their deepest thoughts is safe.

To let them know you are listening, at first you need to look at the person and make eye contract. Secondly give the occasional encouraging nod and saying “uh-huh” at appropriate intervals. Thirdly, occasionally repeat back what you have heard your client say.

Next quality an effective counselor needs to have is warmth. It is the ability to communicate and demonstrate genuine caring and concerns for clients. Using this ability, counselors convey their acceptance of clients, their desire for client’s well being and their sincere interest finding workable solutions to the problems that clients present. Warmth can be communicated also through nonverbal behaviors such as a smile, tone of voice, facial expression. Warmth indicates to the client acceptance.

Counseling is one of the very few occupations that coated with many misconceptions and myths. These inaccurate images were very much prominent among the general society and thanks to media for that. The foremost myth is only crazy people undergo counseling process. In reality, people who really attend the session’s skilled and bright individuals. These people are frequently battling with issues in a particular region and looking for self-awareness and development. Stressors and troubles are a piece of life for all individuals. Many contend that the capacity to request and acknowledge counseling help speaks to clear proof of knowledge and mental stability.

Another myth is individuals with severe problem need to go for counseling. Most people look for counseling for ordinary issues like relationship issues, stress, and indications of depression. The facts demonstrate that counseling can be useful for people experiencing extreme issues. Nonetheless, looking for counseling for issues at this dimension does not speak to most of the customers in guiding. Furthermore, going to counseling when issues are mild to direct can keep issues from getting to be extreme.

The third myth that conceived around counseling is that during counseling process, the counselor does most of the talking and you listen. People tend to have two different views about this. Some people seem to think that all counselors do all the talking and that clients are going to get lectured to. Counselors are listeners, but the process of working through a person’s problems is a collaborative one. Counselors need to go at the “speed” of the client and need to custom fit their way of working to suit the needs and desires of the client. This means that there will be an interaction that involves participation of both the client and the counselor.

On the whole, counseling is still one of the least understood field in Malaysia. Most people cannot tell the difference between counseling, psychology and psychiatry. It is these misunderstandings that gives the field of counseling a negative image among Malaysians and consequently discourage people who may need help from seeking it. General people still need some exposure on counseling and media plays a huge part in creating the impact to a wider range. Counseling filed should be treated as professional like other jobs, for instance doctor or lawyer.

Seems like I over consumed your time guys and it’s time to end the speech now. Thank you for lending your ears. Have a great day ahead.