Opinion Writing: Family Systems Theory

The family systems theory has a significant revelation on family relations. I firmly agree that to understand a particular family or a member, they should be around other family members. The emotional connection among different family members may create functional or dysfunctional coexistence, which is not easy to identify when an individual is further from the other members. Taking an example of the extended family, the relationship between the mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law may be tense, but once they are outside the family, they can pretend to have a good relationship. Therefore, I agree with the theory that the existing emotional attachment and developed culture in the family is distinctively understood when the family is together.

The triangle emotions concept explains the cause of disagreements in a family of three people where two of them may agree with an idea with one other in conflict. I agree with the concept because it gives a source of the most common family disagreements and fights, especially amongst siblings. It can become a great challenge and a cause for a tense relationship between three relatives, because one member may end up feeling unrecognized since the majority always wins. In a single-parent family, two children may have a disagreement and the mother is expected to agree with only one of them. This creates sibling rivalry because they all want to be right and supported by their parent. The assumption about this concept is that one party has to be right. However, one person in conflict might be on the right track, but it becomes impossible to implement the opinion. Therefore, I think the theory only explains the degrees of family differences but with no remedy on a method that can create a stronger family bond.

Social Cut-off Concept

I resolutely disagree with the emotional cut-off concept of family theory. The idea explains that an individual may distance themselves from the family members with whom they are not in a good relationship. This helps reduce family conflicts, stress, and other emotional problems. However, it is not true that cutting off links with their family based on such reasons might cause more stress. I have seen people who distanced themselves from toxic family relationships create better families and other relationships far away from their past family lives. They are not stressed since the stressors – which were from family interpersonal and emotional conflicts – are no longer with them, and they end up forgiving, forgetting, and letting go the bitterness, hurt, and anxiety. Emotional cut-off from toxic family relations relieves an individual the occasional disagreements, stress, anxiety, and burden. It does not make them bitter in the future.

Building A Functional Family Union

I believe that a family that has cultivated a culture of good communication, respect, honesty, intelligence, love, and kindness among other virtues may come out strong despite the emotional interdependence among the members. Understanding each other's personality and reactions help build a functional family union without the conflicts. However, staying together for a long time may be a reason for disagreements and disputes. It is, therefore, better to have personal space for coexistence because the emotional connectedness will always put the members together even when they are far from each other. The family systems theory explains more about family emotional imbalances through the triangular emotions, self-differentiation, and emotional cut-off among other concepts. The theory helps analyze family systems by examining the existing function-ability and dysfunctions and explaining them through emotional reliance.