Personal Account of Fear and Distress in an Island Visit with Piggy

Dear Diary, This morning I walked in total dismay and horror as I found myself alone on an island with no sign of human life whatsoever. After walking and calling for what seemed a lifetime I heard crying and the ruffling of undergrowth. After further investigation a short, plump boy crawled out sobbing uncontrollably and crying out for his aunt. After asking his name several times finally he blurted out ''my friend's used to call me Piggy''. After talking to Piggy for a while it appeared to me that he was a bit pampered by his aunt who he lived with. Piggy couldn't run on account of his asthma so we had to walk. We walked and walked until we came to a lagoon. Both of us felt an inward excitement beneath the shell of apprehension as we jumped around and splashed each other completely oblivious to the situation we were in.

Piggy got out of the water and lay down breathless before calling my name. I could sense from his that he had discovered something. I ran over to find Piggy vigorously stuffing his face with fruit, he had found a cluster of fruit trees. I sat down beside him and ate more fruit than I had ever ate before. The fruit was yellow and its shape resembled that of a pineapple. We lay there in the shade and talked about our families as though we were on a day long expedition, neither of us seemed to realise the mess we were in. We began to walk again, an expression of excitement and adventure stretched across Piggy's face whilst at the same time I couldn't help but sense an air of worry and unhappiness as he spoke. He repeatedly spoke about his aunt and every so often he would tell me what he would have been doing had he been at home. As we were walking along I noticed what at first sight seemed to be a rather large shell. Piggy told me that it was a conch and said that if you blew into it a loud noise which resembled that of a mooing cow. His aunt had one and she told him that they were worth a lot of money. Piggy taught me how to blow the conch, his aunt didn't allow him to blow her conch due to his asthma.

From the bottom of my lungs I blew into the conch to receive a somewhat deafening sound ringing through my ears. As I blew it I was dumb struck to see masses of boys young and old popping out of bushes in every direction. I could see that some of the boys didn't look to be much older than four or five whilst many looked to be closer to their teens but one thing we all had in common was that we were all stuck on this island together for the foreseeable future. As order began to set in I felt as one of the senior boys it was my role to act as temporary leader, but much to my surprise it was Piggy who was the first to seek calm. One of his first duties was to call a vote to select a leader. I was selected to take part in the vote along with a boy called Jack, a short, brown haired boy with a face embraced in freckles.

As the vote was cast everybody except for the choir voted for me, so it was decided that I was in control of my own island with its very own population. I gave Jack the choir and they acquired the role of hunters. Another boy who was quick to gain the respect of everybody was Simon a skinny, vivid little boy with short fair hair. For the rest of today life on the island was to be hectic with everybody finding a place to settle for the night. As dusk began to fall I was looking out over the surrounding ocean reflecting upon the days events when suddenly I was hit by the stark reality that I was on an island with boys I barely know with little or no hope of being rescued and deep down I know that I owe it to both myself and the other boys to try and make a success of the circumstances we have found ourselves in. It was like a hammer blow to my heart as the thought of seeing my family and friends all became a vivid fragment of my imagination.

Wednesday 3rd April 2000 Dear Diary, Life on the island has been absolute hell today. So far the younger boys have managed to let the fire go out and Jack's hunters haven't managed to kill any pigs for food. I feel totally devastated. All hope I had of being rescued seems to have died with the fire. The only thing that has kept me going on is the thought of my father coming to pick me up. I called a meeting to restore some order and control . Jack made his feelings perfectly clear by not attending the meeting and ordering the choir to go hunting with him. Jack seems to be hell bent on causing division and unrest amongst everybody. All the excitement and anticipation I felt when I first arrived has gone and instead has turned to anger and distress.

Piggy seems to think that the reason Jack is being so unreasonable is because of the way in which I was elected leader ahead of him. Jack thinks that I am too soft and that I am not ruthless enough when it comes to certain decisions. As I am lying down here looking up at the stars I cannot help but feel heartbroken. My heart feels like a piece of lead and as tears run down my cheek I find myself wanting to give up but I know that I must keep going for everybody's sake, it is what my father would want me to do. As I look at the moon I yearn for the sight of my family coming in a boat or a plane to rescue me or for me to wake up and be reassured that it was nothing but a bad dream. It is as if I am carrying the weight of the world on my small shoulders and if it gets any heavier I am just going to collapse into a ball onto the floor.

Friday 5th April 2000 Dear Diary, Today I feel worse than I have ever felt before. I feel so distraught because Jack and the savages as I now call them have killed Simon. Jack has managed to brainwash all the others apart from Piggy and I into joining his group. I think that the only reason they are joining his group is because he can provide food. I am full of remorse and guilt after what has happened with Simon, somehow I feel as if I should have been the person that was killed. Both Piggy and I could have stopped them but I can't help but think if we did step in we would have paid with our lives. I have never seen such brutality in my life and it makes all the more disturbing with the fact that this murder was committed by boys as young as four or five years old. It all started when Jack decided to have a party. This party was a feast and Piggy judges that he was aiming to show his current superiority over me at the moment, because all the boys on the island apart from Piggy, Simon and I had left me to join him. Simon was beginning to get extremely bored so he decided to go for a walk in the forest. In the ensuing minutes there was a silence that summed up the moods of both Piggy and I, we felt downhearted, dejected and depressed.

Piggy broke this silence by suggesting we go to the party, I remember looking up at him with a puzzled face before he muttered ''just to check everything's going all right. As we walked the prevailing silence was broken by the sound of Jack's party. Piggy and I walked on before seeing smoke. Instinctively we both stopped and looked each other in the eye. Piggy looked bewildered before I nodded to signal to Piggy that we were doing the right thing. We walked around a corner where we saw all the savages all eating with everybody in a buoyant mood. We were greeted by a silence and neither Piggy or I knew what to expect. Both of us were startled when Jack stood up and ordered ''Take them some meat''. Immediately two boys came over and gave each of us the most succulent piece of meat I have ever saw in my life. As the meat was placed in my hand my stomach was telling me yes whilst my head was telling me no. I thought that if I took the meat I would have owed Jack something. I pondered for a moment before deciding to eat the meat. As I chewed the meat my thoughts turned to home and my mothers wonderful cooking. As I looked up at Jack I could see that he felt a sense of pride that I was on his side of the island eating his meat caught by his hunters. As I put down my gnawed bone with a sense of apprehension, Jack ordered everybody to sit down. He pointed his spear at Piggy and then me before asking ''Who is going to join my tribe?''. Jack and I then proceeded to argue over who the real leader of the island was. The argument ended as Jack and the savages gathered in a circle pretending to kill a pig which was Roger miming the terror of the creature as the rest of the savages danced and chanted ''Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!'' As the dance went on there was a sense of some kind of excitement at the thought of the creature losing its life in such a terrible way.

The dance was only ended by the sight of something coming out of the forest. As this thing came closer the savages formed a horseshoe shape. As the savages attacked I saw that it was Simon and that he was yelling out something but I couldn't hear what he was saying above the cries of the savages. I was dumb struck as these children some not much older than toddlers beat and stabbed Simon with their spears. Blood poured out over the feet of the savages and into the sea, the sheer brutality of this murder didn't seem to matter to these somewhat pitiless beasts, these callous people had just murdered another person yet they had a cold enough heart to feel a depth of pride about this. Piggy and I then walked back and the silence that followed spoke volumes about our mood, I felt sick to have witnessed such a calamity. I have never been so full of grief in my life nor have I ever experienced death. At such a young age I have experienced so much that I no longer feel a child, I feel that no child no matter how heartless should have to carry the burden that I am carrying. Sunday 7th April 2000 Dear Diary, I have never been more confused or distressed in the whole of my short life. Jack and the savages killed Piggy earlier on today. It seems so senseless that such a young intelligent boy who had all his life ahead of him should die for the ego of such a selfish boy like Jack.

The day started as it had finished on a depth of terrible confusion and sadness. Piggy and I woke up to find that Jack and the savages had visited us overnight and stolen Piggy's glasses. It was almost impossible for Piggy to see without the aid of his glasses so it was essential that we went over to the savages and try getting Piggy's glasses back. This was a task easier said than done as we were to find out later. Piggy was truly distraught about the theft of his glasses, he was sobbing, he didn't want any conflict, all he wanted was his glasses back. As we were walking along it was then and only then that I realised the true depth of his sadness. His eyes were red from crying and his nose desperately needed a wipe, I think somehow he managed to pin the blame onto himself. I remember thinking how I had never felt so much sympathy for anybody in my entire life, this only served as more determination to get Piggy's glasses back. As we neared Castle Rock Piggy became more timid and wanted to go back but wouldn't let him. He knew there was going to be a confrontation and he wanted to avoid it. Piggy stood back as I walked up to Jack and demanded he gave Piggy his glasses back. Jack wouldn't answer he just replied with a smug smile on his face. Before I knew it I had hit Jack a punch across his face that knocked him to the ground. Dazzled, he got up and we began trading blows and as much as I hated violence I never felt so good hitting him over and over again and the thought that I was hurting him just spurred me on. I wasn't fighting for the glasses anymore, I was fighting for my pride and all the upset and hurt they have caused Piggy.

In the end it was Piggy who separated us. As Piggy tried to restore calm I heard this great bump from above. As I looked up I saw this huge boulder falling from the cliff above. As I watched it fall I saw it was heading for Piggy, my reaction was to shout ''Piggy, look out'' but this was to no avail because Piggy couldn't see what was coming or where it was coming from without his glasses. The boulder hit Piggy with an almighty thud, Piggy was knocked flying into the air and as I watched him land on a cliff below it felt as if I was feeling every emotion possible. I looked down at the lifeless figure I fell to my knee's and began screaming. Piggy's body floated away and with it all the will I had to live, my only true friends on the island, Piggy and Simon, were both dead and I was left with the question why did they die? The only answer that I could think of was that they died because of Jack's petty rivalry with me.

If this was the case did that make me responsible? My head was full of questions with no answers. I remember running from Castle Rock for what seemed like miles sobbing oblivious to the wounds I had on my ribs from where Jack had hit me with his spear. All I did for the rest of the day was just lie there thinking of Piggy and Simon and what good friends they were. For two boys like Piggy and Simon this was such an undignified way to die, they didn't even deserve to die. After thinking for hours on end I still cannot figure out how Jack, such a young boy can be so full of hatred. What I still cannot understand is the meaning of life and if it is fair. If my experiences of the past week are anything to go by then it isn't fair and it has no meaning at all. As I look up at the stars all I can do is hope and prey to my lucky star that I will be rescued from this hell. In the meantime all I can do is grieve for two dear friends Simon and Piggy.