Personal Reflection on What Makes a Man Attractive

The relationship between women and men could be a lot easier probably if women started reasoning like men. Women have this tendency of lamenting about their issues and problems, simply because they want these problems to be known and acknowledged, while men usually let their problems known because they want solutions to them. Obviously, differences exist between the viewpoints of men and women and how well they react when they are under stress.

From small, men are taught how to disconnect from what they feel inside. Women have also been socialized to expect the men to take control and prove to be strong. The Australian Institute of Family Studies conducted a survey of 650 divorced persons to know what led to their divorce, revealed that about 20% said infidelity was the cause of their separation; however, it claimed the third spot of all the reasons given, with communication issues and incompatibility taking top spots. Also, men find it very hard to find their desired comfort through affairs.

Those that try counseling only reveal that having extramarital sex or affairs only worsens their guilt, despair, and isolation, which leads to depression very often. Those not getting the required intimacy in the home, usually develop addictions to sex. The cheating party is striving hard to cover up an emotional void. It’s very easy for the women as they easily find emotional connections when in the company of their friends as well as physical, emotional, and deep intimacy when they are with their children, especially the toddlers and newborns. But as far as we know, sex is known to be the only way a man can get emotional closeness. More sex could be a very serious search to fill that void.

In a poll conducted by WomanSavers.com concerning fidelity on over 770 men revealed that more than 60% of women had this belief that physical affairs result from emotional affairs. In another infidelity poll of more than 1,000 women, 56% of them believed that infidelity was constituted by online affairs. Thus, even when a man decides to zip up, most women already feel cheating emotionally is also as bad as cheating physically.

What does it mean to be a man? This is a very difficult aspect to understand. Once this is known, you’ll have no issues with women. If you ask 1000 women, 999 of them will tell you they are searching and waiting for the man, but this doesn’t help much. To understand it from our own perspective, we need to consider genetics.

Men are donors, while women are the acceptors. Acceptors can decide if they should accept what is given to them by the donor or not. Sexy girls are usually spoilt by the countless unconditional offers presented and reject them. They love reminding us that they have their right to choose what they want. But this doesn’t always happen. Every day, a hot woman will meet an average man. Of course, she could make her choice if she wanted to. However, what she wants is a real man. The fact is that this real man in question isn’t just for her alone, but also covers other women. This man possesses a lot of qualities that will sweep the feet of any girl. He’s now in charge and has all the power. In the end, the girl ends up going dirty, making efforts to seduce him. The longer hours women spend in front of their mirrors is not just to look great, but to ensure that when they meet a real man, he notices their presence. This is exactly how ideal seduction seems. The man makes his choice first. Through his attention, he makes his interest known to the woman. The woman will surely like him if he’s strong and powerful enough. However, she also knows that you could have other alternatives, so she will put in much effort to seduce the man into staying with her. When I mean powerful, what does this entail? Fame, money, influence, or looks? None. These are simply external qualities that could deceive a woman into believing that you’re powerful. We can say that true power emanates from the inner man. Real men, with just their presence, make their women feel like one. His power comes from within, even if he wears nothing, is without his car, money, and clothes.

Coming back to evolution, what you need to do is making your woman know that you have what it takes to protect her. The man needs to be powerful enough to be able to lead his woman. If you sit in a restaurant and she has to decide where you both should sit, and order for the food, while hearing you say, “You are very beautiful; I don’t deserve this beauty,” what do you expect her to think about you? She’ll have thoughts like: is this man capable of protecting me? She may not feel safe with you. This is why the first quality a man must have is being able to lead. Focus on these three qualities:

• A man that can lead, and is confident of what he does;
• A man having different options always is never needy and has self-respect;
• A man that knows how to treat a woman.

Now, let’s look at the first quality again: A man that can lead, and is confident of what he does. Do you know how difficult it is to captain a ship? You’ll be forced to take responsibilities and make tough decisions. Having a little doubt or uncertainty is more than enough for the whole crew to lose faith in you. How will you lead 40 people, if you show signs of uncertainty and hesitation? If you belonged to the crew, will you entrust your life in the hands of such a captain? I doubt that. You’ll definitely do that for one who is always certain and resolute, even if he makes some mistakes.

The same thing goes for women. In this case, two people can be found in the boat. You and her, while you are the captain. She expects you to take responsibility and lead. Once she notices any uncertainty, she’ll find a way out of your boat immediately and then join another. When making decisions, you always have to be on your toes. No one wants to know if it is a bad or good decision. It’s you who’ll take responsibility. You must know that every decision you make comes with a consequence. You may decide to postpone your decision, but you’ll still have to decide sooner or later, and by then, it may become too late. Hesitation isn’t a trait for a real man. The powerful man I mentioned earlier has his preferences and he isn’t scared of taking it. When you’re sure of yourself while taking decisions, your leading and taking responsibilities.

There’s a difference between false and real confidence. Confident people are cool and calm, just like a sniper waiting patiently for its turn. When people with these characteristics walks into a room, he grabs the attention of everyone. Not because he walks stiffly or he’s funny or annoying in order to compensate for his insecurities – this person is falsely confident. Typical signs include being loud just to gain some attention, harassing someone physically or verbally to prove something to those watching.

Also, some confidence has to do with experience. If you’ve never felt the lips of a woman, don’t think you’ll be able to kiss 10 women in a day so quickly. These ideas are not magical. You need to practice and experiment as well. Time must be dedicated to it as well. When you do, the experience will be there.

Back to the list, the second quality is a man having different options always, is never needy, and has self-respect. What does it mean to have different options? At first, the woman seems to take charge of power. She makes the choices. She can say no to you when you approach her or even try to kiss her. She can refuse you having sex with her. This all happens. But, how then do we make sure she has no choice? The answer is simple: By being a man. She knows you are one out of the very few out there and will know instantly that this could be her only chance of meeting someone like you. She believes you have what it takes to move on and then choose another woman at any time you want to.

If you must know, I just trucked you. A man that can lead properly won’t leave his woman anytime to think. He appears out of nowhere to talk to her. He kisses her at the right moment without requesting or questioning her. She’ll have no choice. At least she’ll feel this way. And this is exactly what she wanted right from time; being swept away by that moment, having no time or choice to think of any social restrictions.

Now, let’s talk about self-respect. People that believe they worth nothing and accept to be treated like trash, will surely get that treatment. How can anyone give you the respect you deserve when you don’t have respect for yourself? Whether you’re working or dealing with men or women, make sure you stand up for yourself. Your behavior can be influenced by what you feel about yourself and the way you see yourself, and this is how people respond to you. Having negative thoughts and being depressed will take you nowhere. Your personality is developed through your thoughts. Those having negative thoughts and see everything negatively will definitely attract only such into their lives. Those that strengthen and empower themselves with positive thoughts and affirmations, usually turn out to be successful.

“I don’t worth anything. I’m just a loser. I don’t deserve this. My life has been a waste. I’ll never be able to win the heart of any girl.” These thoughts must be eliminated for good. Say things like “I’m a real man. I have set goals, and I am well motivated to achieve them. I know what my heart desires, and I know how best to get them. I’m successful with everything I lay my hands on, women not excluded. I enjoy all of my successes and achievements. I’m open to new ideas and experiences, learning from my mistakes and can change myself to maintain a good direction.”

Another tool you should possess is not being needy. You shouldn’t need her. Why shouldn’t you when she’s so ravishing? And such a ravishing creature has never talked to you all your entire life. Have self-respect, and don’t hold on to her as a child will. She should never be placed above you. So many guys are placing their girlfriends up there, that it doesn’t seem to be a challenge to her.

Back then, the very successful cavemen (the men) had different options. They could pick from any of the women they desired. They didn’t place these women on a pedestal, they were treated the same way normal people were – people having desirable physical characteristics and could be capable of delivering powerful children. Consider this. If you were Dwayne Johnson, and you could have any woman you desire, would you place any of these women above you? Sure, it’s a No!

Also, you need to be very careful, as girls know what’s happening. That you have lots of options doesn’t mean you should start bragging about it or showing off. Statements like the following shouldn’t be uttered from your mouth, “I have three pretty girls, Loveline, Jessica, and Natasha. It’s so difficult choosing one between them. These days, it’s difficult being a player.” Instead of this, behave like a real man, someone ready to go his own way without making efforts to meet the expectations of anyone. There’s no need having eight girlfriends or possess the attitude I’m referring to.

Sexy girls always have lots of men flocking around her. She has at least ten numbers she can call, just the same way hot guys have many girlfriends. At times, these girls even know themselves, but this guy feels so cool, he doesn’t even care. Sure, you don’t have to keep lots of girls, if that’s not your taste. At first, one girl will be very much okay to deal with. However, it is advisable to have a few phone numbers with you. You shouldn’t stop seeing other girls simply because you are dating a sexy hot girl.

Even if you just kissed her or even slept with her, this doesn’t guarantee she’s really fallen in love with you or you’re already in a relationship with her. If you feel this way, call any of the numbers in your possession and have some fun. This is all about having different options.

The third quality on our list is a man that knows how to treat a woman. A real man is a gentleman. He knows how best to care for her. Sure, he does all these confidently. Treating a woman isn’t just about confidence. Always remember that women are not devices or objects of experimentation. Just like you, they’re wonderful beings, so they need to be treated equally. They have their good days and bad days. They shit and pee. And they like little surprises and thoughtful words. At times, presenting her a small gift or being thoughtful means more to a young girl than a large sum of money in her bank account.

Hot girls crave appreciation and attention. They are self-validation junkies. If too much is given to her, just like an average man will, she’ll easily get bored and part ways with you. If too little is given to her, she will seek help from other guys. So, the best strategy and most powerful tool here is to reward her with validation. Reward your woman anything g she does something you really like. There’s no need buying presents, kind words will do just fine, “Your thoughts really stormed my heart really hard, I thought of your sweet and beautiful smile, and it made me feel so good”

However, don’t agree with the wacky wishes of ladies. If you’re watching your favorite team, and she wants to shop, you either tell her to wait until you are done, or she could just go alone. Then, some other time, when she’s not expecting it, just tell her you decided to miss your favorite program just to attend to take her out. The key here has to do with the attitude. Taking a look at the first case, she is insistent. But in the second, you are giving her a reward for being the good girl you chose. As the man, you are in charge and you make the decisions. You maintained your manly frame, coupled with being caring and kind at the same time.

Keep your woman on her toes. Let her know that you’re in control. Don’t give in to what she asks today; give her what she demands but when she doesn’t expect it. Try pushing her away, then pull her back; create some form of excitement and tension. Compliment her anytime you feel like, but don’t overdo it. If you get up from bed every morning telling her how beautiful she is, she’ll get bored soon enough. But if you make this known to her at no specific time, (when she isn’t expecting it), this will put smiles on her face.

Compliment women and speak kind words to them. Let your girl know that you care for her and her thoughts are on your mind. Sometimes, surprise her, but don’t overdo all these. These tools are wonderful if their value is kept. If a product is produced in bulk, its market’s luxury worth is lost, and it ends up being commercial. Have second thoughts before making use of these tools, but ensure you utilize them at times.

This is another exercise. The ideas described above may either seem unfounded or strange to you, if not all, some of them. Try to discover the power of these ideas on your own. Take your time to read this chapter over again and then think about it.