Success, Six Packs and Solitude: Modern Day Masculinity

Society's understanding of masculinity is changing, which is redefining culture and challenging long-held beliefs. What does it mean to be a man? My interpretation may differ from yours or from a person 50 years ago, in today’s society the perception of masculinity is changing and redefining itself. Society has taught us that being a man means being masculine, not showing emotions, being skilled with manual labour, and that men and boys need to master any sport they can. This perception has put men into a box that is hard to escape. Men in the media such as actors and men used in advertising are under constant pressure and question themselves – am I being man enough?

The “Man Box”

The “Man Box” is the set of beliefs in society that place pressure on men to be a certain way – to be tough, not show emotions, to be a breadwinner, to always be in control, to use violence to solve problems and to have many sexual partners. The “Man Box”’ is alive and well in Australia’s society. A study by the Jesuit Social Services, found that the majority of young men agree that there are a lot of social pressures on them to behave or act a certain way because of their gender. Though a majority of young men disagree with the “Man Box” beliefs, there is still a larger number who agree with some of the beliefs that make up the man box. These is beliefs include, being strong, not showing vulnerability, always being in control and men being the primary providers of the home. Many men find themselves trying to live up to the pressures which society has moulded to be a ‘real man’. Statistics from the Jesuit Social Service study found that 44% of young men in the “Man Box”’ found themselves having thoughts of suicide in the last two weeks. Male suicide is a solution-based behaviour that some men turn to when dealing with problems they can neither fix, nor cope with. It is the product of a whole host of men’s issues we are collectively failing to solve. According to Lifeline, three times as many Australian men die by suicide than women. In 2016, there were on average 41 male deaths by suicide each week. That’s six in a day, or one every four hours. This was the result of toxic masculinity. This causes harm to young men and those around them, particularly women. The pressures relating to being a man are plastered everywhere in today’s society and are reinforced and influenced through young men’s relationships – friends, families and partners. Across all levels of society, there must be a focus on building awareness of the “Man Box” norms and their harmful impacts on the lives of men, and shows the need for more positive alternatives to be promoted to avoid the “Man Box” mindset.

Downside of Being a Male

Actor Justin Baldoni states in his TED talk that “An actor’s job is to stick to the script and bring to life the character that someone else wrote”. Throughout his career Baldoni, has had a “wide variety” of roles, these include male escort #1, photographer date rapist, shirtless date rapist, shirtless medical student, and his most known role as Rafael – a brooding reformed playboy on Jane the Virgin. However, these roles don’t represent Baldoni as the man he is in his real life, he gets to live inside these characters different to himself. Most of the roles he play ooze machismo, charisma and power, qualities that he doesn’t see in himself – this is how Hollywood sees him. Giving him roles pretending to be the man he’s not. The media portrays him in a way he’s not, pretending to be strong when he felt weak, confident when he felt insecure, forcing him to put on a show for everyone because that’s how the media saw him. This shows how exhausting it is for men in media to try be man enough for everyone all the time. Society has imprinted into the minds of boy the kind of man they should grow up to be – to be accepted and liked by the other boys, to gain this acceptance this means to have a disgusted view of the feminine – this means rejecting embodying feminine qualities or face rejection. 

Overall these are only a few examples of scripts that society has given us. Telling us that girls are weak and boys are strong, this is what is being subconsciously communicated to hundreds of millions of boys and girls around the world. This is wrong, this is toxic and this has to end.