Appearance and Reality in Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been

One of the hardest things one has to do in life is make decisions. When one is little, they are simple decisions like what to eat for breakfast. However, as one gets older the decisions become harder to make, and have a larger impact, whether for good or bad. In the short story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?”, by Joyce Carol Oates, the main character Connie wanted to grow up so bad and in the end was faced with one of the most difficult decisions of her life. Nevertheless, the overall theme of the story is that things are not always as the appear. Oates uses the characters evolution from the beginning to the end in order to enhance this stories meaning.

Connie is a 15 year old who spends much of her time going out with friends, meeting boys, and is annoyed with her entire family—especially her sister June and her mom. One night, Connie goes on a date and on the way to the car, another, kind of creepy guy in a gold-painted convertible waves his finger at her. She thinks nothing about the incident again until one Sunday afternoon, when the rest of her family attends a barbecue at an aunt's house, and she is left home alone. The strange guy, Arnold, pulls up in her driveway with a friend. He explains that he learned a lot about her the past couple days and invites her on a drive since her family is gone at a BBQ. Following that Arnold insists that she comes with him and says that he will harm her family if she tries to call the cops. She tries to call the police, but is unable to and in the end leaves the house and joins Arnold.

The author begins the story by introducing Connie. Since Oates used third person limited, the reader is allowed into only the thoughts of Connie, showing that she will be the main focus. Connie is first characterized as a self centered, judgmental teenage girl, and her looks and popularity seem to mean everything to her. For example, “Everything about her had two sides to it, one for home and one for anywhere that was not home.”( Page 65) It seems as though Connie’s attention that she receives from boys whether positive or negative is turned into self confidence. On top of that, Connie basically dislikes everyone in her family. For example, “ But around his bent head Connie’s mother kept picking at her until Connie had wished her mother was dead and she herself was dead and it was all over”.(page 65) While most teenage girls do not get along with their mother and sisters all the time, Connie literally wants them dead.

Every action Connie makes is driven by insecurity and vanity, and since she can easily get it from men, it fuels the sequence of events with Arnold that follow. While Connie could have attended the BBQ with her family, she chose not to do so, and instead sit and admire her beauty. For example, “And Connie paid close attention herself, bathed in a glow of slow-pulsed joy that seemed to rise mysteriously out of the music itself and lay languidly about the airless little room.”(Page 67) When Arnold finally pulled up in the driveway, Connies first instinct was to check how she looked. “’Christ, Christ,’ wondering how she looked.”(Page 67) This just shows how immature Connie is and how willing she is to abandon all logic.

However, once Connie realizes that she is in danger, she gradually begins to mature and snap out of it. For example, “Her smile faded. She could see that he wasn’t a kid…At this knowledge her heart began to pound faster.”(Page 70) At this point in the story one can already see the difference in Connies character, compared to the beginning when she was going on dates with complete strangers. The last and most obvious change is the ending when Connie decides to take action and call the police, Arnold immediately threatens the lives of her family members. Connie from the first couple pages would not even care. Which is why the change is so noticeable, when instead she sacrifices herself in order to protect her family. Sadly, despite her courage, it is now to late. For example, “…so much land that Connie had never seen before and did not recognize except to know that she was going to it.”(76) This shows that Connie has a pretty good idea of what is going to happen to her, but she does not get scared or change her mind.

From the beginning of the story to end, Connie’s character changed so drastically, that it is as if she is two different people. With the combination of Arnold’s unexpected arrival and Connie’s insecurities, she is forced to mature; and quickly. Oates used these examples to show that things in life are not always as they appear. Connie wanted to be a flirtatious woman who received attention from men. In return Connie got what she wanted, it was just from the wrong man. In the end she was trying to grow up quicker then she needed to and ended up having to make a grown up decision and sacrifice her life for her family.