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When we talk about emotional intelligence we talk about the emotions that everyone has on a certain argument, on a certain relation with others. When we talk about emotional intelligence we talk about the way we express our thoughts. When we talk about emotional intelligence we talk about the inner culture that distinguishes each of us. For a normal person it affects the way of approaching others, the way to relate with others in the ordinary life but, for a leader, it affects the way in which a leader can be an example for others, in which a leader can guide the others, in which a leader can understand how she or he can be a better leader. In conclusion, according to Singh (2006, p.59) “it affects how much you can achieve and the quality and richness of your relationships” so not only a leaders have to take it in considerations but all of us.
Now, to find a job but also to succeed in our initiatives it is not important only our technical knowledge but also how can you relate to others, how can you express to others our necessity. “This yardstick is increasingly applied in deciding who will be hired and who will not, who will be dismissed and who will be retained, who will be ignored and who will be promoted.” (Singh, D., 2006, p.20). For a leader or for people that aim to be a leader it is a thing that must be given importance and priority: a becoming leader have to study and make exercises to learn how to control his or her feelings, of to understand the others and to express them what she or he is thinking. Emotional intelligence can affect and can be affected by a group of skills that everyone could improve through exercises and practice. We can list the skills as being part of three components of the emotional intelligence and these are “emotional sensitivity, emotional maturity and emotional competency” (Singh, D., 2006, p.73).
First, we need to recognize our emotions to know how we react and to act in a correct way to be able to relate better with others. I can make simple example to explain this process. Let’s say that a person is organizing an event. She tells the others that the event will be on the next week end that she will collect money from all people. Then she writes in a social media, precisely in a group that is very busy, that she will collect money on Wednesday, to book a place to host the event, outside the office. Some people don’t read the message because of the constant update of the content in the group and also doesn’t noticed that he was outside to collect money. On Thursday the organizer wrote a message in the group making a list of all people that will attend the event. Some are not in the list. One of them wrote asking for a clarification and the organizer replied that he has asked for the money and has wrote in the group. The person that cannot participate is upset, now, because he thinks that it’s an error of the organizer for not having promptly notified or tried to ask for money, in person, on the scheduled day.
How can this person will react to this issue? First, she can understand or not that she is upset. Then, she can handle her emotion or express it. Expressing it, she could start a hard-toned discussion for a problem that is not real: she cannot attend at the event, but it is not a serious problem. If she could control her emotion she could move on and the anger will pass and no other will be affected. A leader must understand what she or he feels and must manage the emotions as, for example, to don’t precipitate in a negative rumination and as to control she or he externalize what she or he is feeling, preventing negative emotions to walk out or emphasizing positive emotions. Also, both a manager and a normal person, has to understand others’ feelings and emotions to relate better with them. In conclusion a person that is a leader has to be more experienced with emotions and emotional intelligence, so she can better manage herself and the others. If a person is able to ignite our passions and inspire the best as well as instil good feelings in who follow her, we can consider her a leader. (Zeidner, Roberts, R.D., Matthews, 2009, p.268).
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