The Lessons We Take from Failure

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About this sample

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Words: 412 |

Page: 1|

3 min read

Published: Jun 20, 2019

Words: 412|Page: 1|3 min read

Published: Jun 20, 2019

Essay grade:
arrow downward Read Review

See expert comments

It was an overwhelming Friday afternoon, I can barely hear the echoes of my voiceThis phrase does not make sense in the context and could be improved for clarity. Suggested correction: "It was an overwhelming Friday afternoon, and the cheers of hundreds of students filled the air. I struggled to hear myself think over the noise."

. There were hundreds of students, who gathered to cheer their favorite team up. It seemed like the afternoon was boiling. What team is winning? When did the game begin? These were the questions that ran through my mind. As a sports fan, I could not stop admiring their strengths, flexibility not to mention; their perfect body. At this point, I became more interested in track and field event.

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I struggled with accepting my weakness as not being able to run long distance. I have always loved running, but my inability to compete for a long-distance race was terrible for me. For this reason, I joined the track and field event, which made me practice regularly. Afterwards, this seemed to me like it was going to be easy, but I failed to recognize the difficulty in competing with other schoolsThe phrasing is awkward and unclear. Suggested correction: "At first, I thought the track and field event would be easy because I enjoyed running. However, I soon realized the challenges of competing against other schools."


I was assigned to compete in a four hundred meter race, yes, it was indeed challenging. Since the members of my team were there to cheer me up, I felt a little relief to my body. When the competition finally began, I found my nervous self shaking. I will be the best in this game, this statement kept running through my mind. I ran with my strength, but still did not make it to the top three. My teammates, whom I have expected to comfort me turned out to doubt my ability to compete in the next event. They never wanted me to be in the next track meet, because they felt that I was going to lose againThe phrasing is awkward and unclear. Suggested correction: "My teammates were skeptical about my ability to compete in the next event because of my previous loss."

. This belief motivated me to push more.

I wanted to prove myself, so I decided to work more on my endurance skills. As soon as I noticed my time pace were getting better, I signed up for the next track meet. This time, I did not just strive to be one of the top three competitors, but to earn a medal for my team.

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After competing for a long distance race, I came out as one of the best candidates for long distance raceThe repetition of "long distance race" is unnecessary and awkward. Suggested correction: "After competing in a long-distance race, I emerged as one of the top performers in my category."

. At that moment, nothing was more expensive than the metal I wonThe word "expensive" does not make sense in this context and could be improved for clarity. Suggested correction: "Nothing was more valuable to me than the medal I won."

. I was appreciated by the members of my team, who previously rejected my wish to compete on that game. This made me more excited. I learned that whatever one puts their mind to do, that person will definitely be the best at what he is aiming forThe use of "their" and "he" in the same sentence is grammatically incorrect and could be improved for clarity. Suggested correction: "Whatever one puts their mind to, they can become the best at what they aim to achieve."


Works Cited

  1. Castellano, J. (2015). Mind over matter: The power of positive thinking in athletics. International Journal of Sports Science, 5(4), 135-142.
  2. Coutts, A. J., Wallace, L. K., & Slattery, K. M. (2005). Monitoring changes in performance, physiology, biochemistry, and psychology during overreaching and recovery in triathletes. International Journal of Sports Medicine, 26(10), 832-842.
  3. Halson, S. L., & Jeukendrup, A. E. (2004). Does overtraining exist?: An analysis of overreaching and overtraining research. Sports Medicine, 34(14), 967-981.
  4. Hardcastle, S. J., & Taylor, A. H. (2013). Looking for motivation: the motivational characteristics of marathon runners. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 25(4), 440-452.
  5. Li, C., & Liu, L. (2014). Effects of imagery training on performance and mental skills in track and field athletes. Journal of Sport and Health Science, 3(4), 245-251.
  6. Micklewright, D., & Castle, P. C. (2010). The effect of time of day on performance in the 100-m sprint. Journal of Sports Sciences, 28(9), 1009-1016.
  7. Murphy, S. M., & Hurley, R. E. (2016). Motivational strategies for enhancing physical performance and enjoyment in runners. Journal of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 38(3), 246-255.
  8. Noakes, T. D. (2008). Testing for maximum oxygen consumption has produced a brainless model of human exercise performance. British Journal of Sports Medicine, 42(7), 551-555.
  9. Williams, J. M., & Krane, V. (2015). Applied sport psychology: Personal growth to peak performance. McGraw Hill.
  10. Zourbanos, N., Hatzigeorgiadis, A., Chroni, S., & Theodorakis, Y. (2014). Self-talk and sports performance: A meta-analysis. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 9(2), 137-155.
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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
What’s grading
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Expert Review
This essay on "The Lessons We Take from Failure" demonstrates a basic level of writing proficiency. The essay has a clear structure, but the focus is somewhat scattered, as the writer jumps from discussing a sports event to a personal experience with long-distance running. The sentence structure is adequate, but the grammar and syntax could be improved. The writer uses a conversational voice, which can be effective in some contexts, but may not be appropriate for all types of writing. Overall, the essay shows potential, but would benefit from more careful editing and revision to improve its clarity and cohesiveness.
minus plus
What can be improved
The essay on "The Lessons We Take from Failure" has several areas that could be improved. The writer begins with a vivid description of a sports event, but then quickly shifts to a personal story about long-distance running. While both of these experiences relate to the theme of the essay, the transition between them is not smooth, and the essay lacks a clear focus. The writer could benefit from outlining the essay more thoroughly before beginning to write to ensure that all of the ideas are connected and contribute to the overall argument. In terms of grammar and syntax, there are several errors that detract from the clarity of the writing. For example, in the sentence "It was an overwhelming Friday afternoon, I can barely hear the echoes of my voice," the verb tense is inconsistent, which makes the sentence confusing. Additionally, the writer uses casual language in some places, such as "this seemed to me like it was going to be easy," which detracts from the overall formality of the essay. To improve the essay, the writer should focus on developing a clear thesis statement and organizing the essay around this argument. They should also proofread the essay more carefully to ensure that the grammar and syntax are consistent and clear. Using more formal language throughout the essay can also help to improve its overall quality.

Cite this Essay

The Lessons We Take From Failure. (2019, Jun 12). GradesFixer. Retrieved December 7, 2023, from
“The Lessons We Take From Failure.” GradesFixer, 12 Jun. 2019,
The Lessons We Take From Failure. [online]. Available at: <> [Accessed 7 Dec. 2023].
The Lessons We Take From Failure [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2019 Jun 12 [cited 2023 Dec 7]. Available from:
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