The Moment that Changed Everything: Personal Experience 520 words [Essay Example]
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The Moment that Changed Everything: Personal Experience

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Words: 520 |

Page: 1|

3 min read

Updated: 27 January, 2025

Essay grade:
Good
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Words: 520|Page: 1|3 min read

Updated: 27 January, 2025

Essay grade:
Good
arrow downward Read Review

The moment that changed everything - this essay is about such a moment in my life. At the age of 16, it was April and the spring’s breeze was floating through the air. I can feel the breeze push through my hair, keeping my eyelids a long way from shutting. It was the most beautiful day and I laid close to my balcony feeling extravagant and free. I felt the manner by which each young should need to feel at my age, free and full of life. My life included spending incalculable minutes squealing about nearness flaws instead of life’s gifts. What confounded me the most was how my life was running so viably with no expense? At the time, I could nearly comprehend that minute where I felt like the most joyful individual life could bring. I regarded what I had and was contended with the life.

Questions start arising in my head is there any cost for this happiness? Sooner than I knew my answer had come. The situation of the house started to change and what’s more my parent’s viewpoints. Reliable question would happen, and I would discover my mom endeavoring to comfort my dad just more much of the time. I wasn’t correctly certain what was going on until the point that the minute that my mom whispered it to me one day. “Your dad is having a broad extent of issues at work. He is experiencing a great deal of weight starting late, and you need to promise you don’t viably exasperate him.” I wasn’t pointlessly stressed over this since I knew things would wind up positive once more. Subsequent to totally considering this again and again, my mind ended up arranged on a purchasing another bike. I had held up 16 years of my life for it, regardless, it wasn’t in my grasp. A couple of days at some point later, my dad got back home with a grin and a spot of sadness all over. I knew things would end up positive for him once more, and I was correct. Positive for him, yet irritating for us. He quit his activity and was sure about his choices, yet it land our family in a troublesome circumstance.

My mom started pulling all the heaviness of the house, giving up her focused on very much arranged. At that moment I realized I had to be my own man and wanted to do something for myself. It is reality parents act as a shelter to their children, in their presence one can feel relaxed and does not have to worry about anything. But circumstances changes in life and hence people also. It was such a sudden change in my life which I was not expecting and had impacted me a lot. I was depressed as well concern for the future outcome. In my heart I had decided to work hard in life and to be independent and have self confidence in myself. Hardships come in life that’s for sure but teaches us a great lesson one cannot imagine. That was a moment that changed my life.

Works Cited

  1. Davis, R. D., & Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2001). Cognitive processes in depression. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 27(1), 107-126.
  2. Eby, L. T., Casper, W. J., Lockwood, A., Bordeaux, C., & Brinley, A. (2005). Work and family research in IO/OB: Content analysis and review of the literature (1980–2002). Journal of Vocational Behavior, 66(1), 124-197.
  3. Healey, J. F., & Zimmerman, J. (2017). Statistics for Psychology. Cengage Learning.
  4. Kessler, R. C., & McLeod, J. D. (1985). Social support and mental health in community samples. In Social support: Theory, research and applications (pp. 219-240). Springer.
  5. Lazarus, R. S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. Springer publishing company.
  6. Liu, Y., & Huang, Z. (2019). Why do people procrastinate? A review of six main theories. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 1460.
  7. Luthans, F., & Youssef, C. M. (2007). Emerging positive organizational behavior. Journal of Management, 33(3), 321-349.
  8. Peterson, C. (2000). The future of optimism. American Psychologist, 55(1), 44-55.
  9. Scheier, M. F., & Carver, C. S. (1993). On the power of positive thinking: The benefits of being optimistic. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 2(1), 26-30.
  10. Seligman, M. E. (2002). Authentic happiness: Using the new positive psychology to realize your potential for lasting fulfillment. Simon and Schuster.

Video Version

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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Good
What’s grading
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Expert Review
This essay, titled "The Moment that Changed Everything," presents a personal narrative detailing a pivotal life experience. The author effectively captures the initial sense of youthful freedom and bliss, which is disrupted by familial challenges, particularly the father's job loss. The transition from a carefree existence to confronting harsh realities is portrayed with sincerity and emotional depth. The narrative effectively conveys how this moment served as a catalyst for personal growth, instilling resilience and self-confidence in the author. However, the essay could benefit from improved coherence in its structure and clarity in some parts of the storytelling. Occasionally, the language feels disjointed, which can detract from the overall flow of the piece. Additionally, there are moments where deeper introspection could enhance the impact of the narrative. Overall, while it provides an insightful reflection on a transformative period, refining these aspects would elevate its effectiveness and engagement with readers.
minus plus
What can be improved
This essay, while poignant and reflective, presents several areas for improvement to enhance its overall effectiveness. Firstly, the coherence of the narrative could be strengthened. Some transitions between thoughts and events feel abrupt, which can disrupt the reader's engagement. A more structured approach to the timeline of events would allow for a smoother flow and help readers better understand the progression of emotions. Additionally, while the essay captures emotional experiences well, there are moments where deeper introspection could significantly enrich the narrative. The author touches on feelings of depression and concern for the future but does not fully explore these emotions or their implications on personal growth. Providing specific examples or anecdotes could illustrate how these challenges influenced the author's character development. Furthermore, clarity in language is essential; certain phrases appear disjointed or convoluted. Simplifying complex sentences or restructuring them for clarity would improve readability. Finally, enhancing descriptive details about both internal feelings and external circumstances could create a more vivid picture for readers, making them feel more connected to the author's journey. By focusing on these aspects—coherence, introspection, clarity, and detail—the essay would achieve greater emotional resonance and offer a more compelling exploration of transformative life moments.

Cite this Essay

The Moment that Changed Everything: Personal Experience. (2020, April 12). GradesFixer. Retrieved February 17, 2025, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/the-moment-that-changed-my-whole-lofe/
“The Moment that Changed Everything: Personal Experience.” GradesFixer, 12 Apr. 2020, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/the-moment-that-changed-my-whole-lofe/
The Moment that Changed Everything: Personal Experience. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/the-moment-that-changed-my-whole-lofe/> [Accessed 17 Feb. 2025].
The Moment that Changed Everything: Personal Experience [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2020 Apr 12 [cited 2025 Feb 17]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/the-moment-that-changed-my-whole-lofe/
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