The Problem of Bullying Among Children

When the word “bullying” comes to notice, its usual focus is on children targeting or harassing their peers. The definition of bullying is when an individual or group of people repeatedly and intentionally cause harm to another individual, whether it be verbal, physical and emotional abuse. Bullying affects those who are bullied, those who bully others, and those who see bullying going on. Bullying does not only take one child to achieve his or her intention, it usually may involve groups of children who motivate each other in bullying the child. “Bullying statistics show that no action is taken in about 85 percent of bullying cases; either the incidents are not reported or the school does nothing.” (Berlatsky 26) Children spend the majority of their time at school for about 8 hours, so if you send your child or someone you know to school where they should be safe and with no harm, why is the percentage rate so high? Bullying is much more than teasing, making jokes, or “kids being kids”. It may include name-calling, spreading rumors, or physically harming someone. Bullying can damage a child's self-esteem at a young age or serious thoughts of wanting to harm themselves. The child may feel like he or she is not good at anything they do, though he or she may be good at it without even knowing the bully already put the perspective in the child's mind that he or she isn’t. When children are constantly put down about something, they come to believe it is true. Being bullied is not the victim’s fault. Children often feel fearful, hurt, or worthless, and need encouragement to discuss the situation they are put in. When children are faced with the problem of being bullied, they should talk to people they trust such as parents, school administrators, and other people that provide the help needed. Though sometimes that isn’t the case, teacher’s time is often full, struggling to meet the ultimatum of their day by day obligations or responsibilities. School officials' main and only focus during the day is their classroom, which makes it difficult for teachers to be attentive to bullying action within their classroom. At times the teacher might not think anything wrong about bullying. They grow into the idea that “kids will be kids” or believe that experiencing the situation helps toughen children up.

A bully is described as a person who is in the need of feeling over powerful than others. At all costs, a bully will find a way in their mind to think they are better than anyone in their surroundings. For example, a bully will discharge their insecurities on others putting that person down to make them feel inferior. One of the insecurities can be weight, not feeling intellectual, not having supportive parents/guardians, is unable to understand those different from them, etc. Bullying can be difficult to point in a school setting because it doesn’t always look the same, meaning methods tend to dramatically look different between male bullying and female bullying.“It’s perhaps unsurprising to see boys as more likely to experience violence, and girls to be the victims of social exclusion,” he said. (Tom Bennett) Girls gravitate to use more social/verbal bullying while boys tend to turn into physical bullying. Boys bully using their masculine power over the victim in the attempt of gaining control, they engage in fights and use the physical threat of physical violence to torture the victim. Girl bullies take part in social bullying, damaging someone's social reputation or their social acceptance. Female bullies form of “attack” is rumors, teasing, gossip, and insults which is less fortunate to witness in school grounds. Girls use less physical violence and more verbal therefore the social attacks are difficult to be acknowledged. When comparing the statistics of female bullies against the male bullies, females have a higher rank of percentage because their form of attacking is more discreet than males by being physical.

A personal reference of my own, Caitlyn Morra a 14-year-old girl who at the time was 11 years old, became a victim of bullying. Caitlyn was a friend of my little sister since Kindergarten in 2011, a smart little girl who didn’t seem to have any problems at school or home. Her mother was the type of parent to make sure she was doing well at school, as she got along with all the teachers throughout the years as well as the parents of students Caitlyn would interact with. Elementary days and years for this little one seemed easy like any other child would experience. What child doesn’t enjoy elementary school and all the activities and fun that come to play? Up until she got to middle school, middle of the sixth-grade year to be exact, things started to shift she would be hesitant to go to school and come up with any excuse not to attend. Caitlyn’s mother noticed these changes, Caitlyn became quieter, wouldn’t want to go out (shopping, movies, skating, etc.), would not eat as much, and wanted to move schools. Caitlyn’s mother decided she would do pop up visitations at school to make sure everything was okay with her daughter and see if the problems were coming from school. The hesitant behavior Caitlyn was showing with school and also the drastic changes she was developing was a wake-up call for Caitlyn’s mother. During one of her pop up visitations, she realized her daughter wasn’t outside interacting with other students during break time, so she went to consult with one of the teachers as to why wasn’t she outside with other children during social break time. The school teacher told the mother that the teenager said she was just “having one of those days” not wanting to be out during break time, Caitlyn's mother seemed alarmed since Caitlyn was already giving her mother excuses to not go to school. Caitlyn would refuse to tell her mother what was going on at school and would slide it off by telling her, “everything is fine mom, don’t worry about it”, and would go straight to her room. Caitlyn’s mom at this point knew something wasn’t right, but to not overwhelm Caitlyn with questions and concerns she would keep her distance but have an eye on her. A couple of months had passed by, Caitlyn would continue to show this type of behavior, an afternoon of February 2018, Caitlyn was home alone, her mother had walked down the street to a grocery market when she came back, she couldn’t believe what she had stopped from witnessing. Caitlyn had tried to commit suicide, she had left a written note for her mother to read but, luckily her mom got there on time. Caitlyn’s mother quickly admitted her to the hospital to make sure no harm was caused, as for herself, she needed answers as to why her daughter would want to do such a thing at such a young age. Caitlyn’s mother went to school to ask questions regarding the friends Caitlyn would hang out with and if she had frenemies, the school administration told her nothing was going on and didn’t have a clue as to why Caitlyn would want to do this. A classmate of Caitlyn was aware of the situation, she was a witness and had consulted with Caitlyn’s mother that her daughter was being bullied at school. She was being bullied at school by a group of 5 children, the children would body shame Caitlyn and would call her names, other students at school were aware but no one wanted to come front and tell any authority at school. Caitlyn’s mother asked for a meeting with the children’s parents and confronted them. She asked for their children to stop the bullying and told them what the consequences her daughter was faced with. Caitlyn's mother didn’t want her daughter to harm herself and be put through what she was experiencing, so she made changes in Caitlyn's life to keep her safe and out of harm. Caitlyn has been admitted to a center since her experience and is doing well. Caitlyn's mother visits her daughter daily and hopes Caitlyn grows up with great self-esteem and forgets the hurt she was put through the couple of months that were dark for her. Caitlyn to this day has improved her well being and has not thought about her bullying experience or the incident she was facing. This is an example of bullying amongst the youth, how with just “name-calling” children feel entitled and think it is okay to put other individuals down. School administration should have taken more action into the problem and had been concerned the moment they see a change in a student. This is important because children spend the majority of their time at school, the administration should make a child feel safe for the 8 hours that they spend in the environment, it is supposed to be a school safety zone. School officials should be approachable so that children feel free to talk and open up to a teacher, counselor, yard duty, etc about the situation they are encountering.

Bullying can also take action amongst children with disabilities and special needs, another problem that children face in grade school. “Although only 10 U.S. studies have been conducted on the connection between bullying and developmental disabilities, all of these studies found that children with disabilities were two to three times more likely to be bullied than their nondisabled peers.” (Disabilities: Insights From Across Fields and Around the World; Marshall, Kendall, Banks & Gover (Eds.), 2009) A child with a disability or special need is an easy target for bullies because these children already are victims of their health issues so they become vulnerable, that they are easy to pick on. Children with special health needs are often bullied by getting their medications taken away, meaning being thrown around or being hidden as well as being exposed to allergic things by their bullies. Children who need medication such as their asthma inhaler or their Epi-Pen need it with them or with a school official without the difficulty of accessing at all times, because at any given moment it may be needed. Having a special need of medication isn’t the only way to be bullied by children when bullying is addressed to a child because of his or her disability it creates an opposed environment at school, and this behavior can become “disability harassment”. Children with disabilities encounter barriers to participation in school and the activities due to their health-care related needs. Physical bullying in lower grades such as elementary school begins with children using hurtful words and leads to physical altercation by pushing, kicking, shoving, and other forms of physical violence. A child with a disability or special need is an easy target for bullies because these children already are victims of their health issues so they become vulnerable that they are easy to pick on. Also, a disabled child depending on their condition will not speak up about being targeted by a bully. These children will be confused as to why they are being treated this way or may even think it is appropriate therefore with their vulnerable mindset they may think it is okay to act the way the bully does and contribute with the actions learned by the bully. Therefore bullies feel entitled because in their minds they are powerful, stronger, and better than a special needs child.

In conclusion, bullying is an ongoing problem. Children who become bullies are disposed of being witnesses of violent behavior at home; as well as lack of parental or guardian supervision. To children being a bully makes them feel “cool” and entitled to think it is okay to hurt another vulnerable child’s feelings. In general, children exercise bullying when they feel insecure or unloved, and discharge their anger on other children to feel inferior and gain their strength. As for the victim, they deal with the hurt and danger caused, which can lead to harming themselves or being psychologically traumatized. The objective of bullying will never have an alternative, meaning as much as schools try to prevent it and have it be acknowledged of what is occurring it will never come to a stop. Bullying at school affects the academic achievement of children because the victim starts to feel fear and weak, the situation makes the bullied child unable to pay attention at school and even affect attendance by the child not wanting to go to school. Bullying is an issue that should be terminated, twenty-thirty years ago this wasn’t a big of an issue as it has been over the recent years. The recent cause of bullying throughout the recent years would be the fact that children have more of an open mentality than back in the day. Children aren’t dumb, they know what as we would say is “better/high class” and “minor/low class”. Children as young as 4 years old in preschool know if you are “cool” by how you dress and the toys you have. For example, they take a look at the brand of clothing, backpack, and shoes the victims take to school. The reason being the bully or bullies take into consideration the idea to attack with wealth, self-esteem, and vulnerability, etc. It is very hard to imagine that any child can mistreat and individual or a child with disabilities with verbal, physical, and emotional abuse. Bullying affects most children at least once in a lifetime, making a child's life a bad experience. The overall issue is to stop bullying from happening. A parent/guardian should teach the “bully” to be accepting of other children that surround them, also a parent/guardian should be present in the child's life as it affects lack of absence and disciplinary. School administration such as; teachers, counselors, yard-duty, helpers, etc. should teach children that everyone is the same in their way. Schools are responsible for children the majority of the time, Monday-Friday for about 8 hours, which is enough time for them to host an anti-bullying assembly and also be aware and report any signs of bullying that is taken in action. School officials need to make sure that every child feels safe and look forward to coming to school and enjoy learning not feel in anyway endangered. A bully also needs to realize that it is not in anyway okay threaten a child. The term “bullying” has been an ongoing problem in society, it will not go away. But with efforts contributing to making the issue of “bullying” go away from parents/guardians, the children, and schools it can become a safer and enjoyable experience on school grounds.