The Search for Individuality in Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been

At the begin of 1960s, there was a spiral decline in the cultural and societal values in America. The story 'Where are you going, where have you been?’ by Joyce Carol Oates tries to depict the suffering that an adolescent is likely to go through in life while trying to get their balance in life, and finding their true identity by realizing who they are as a person in this time period. This process can lead one to get frustrated and so confused in this particular stage since they find themselves in between. This search for individuality causes adolescents to be susceptible to a lot of things so easily. Young adults, undergoing puberty struggle to find a sense of individuality, this can cause a lot of suffering that may lead them to self-harm most of the time. 

In the early 1960s, there was a great change in conventional ideas regarding sex, power, love and race. The traditionally accepted sources of morality were being abandoned drastically in the midcentury suburban American society. This gave a sense of free political will and absence of authority. In the story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been. ” This theme is depicted when Connie’s parents have let go of any true authority that they could have over their teenage daughter. The father in the house is seen to present physically, but most of the time, he is mentally absent. Her mother tries to scrutinize her, but she does not see through her deceptions at all. Neither of these parents are able to provide Connie with a sense of security or guidance. This lack of authority makes Connie move through the world with no one to protect her. This causes her to tread through some dangerous path that lead her in meeting Arnold, the aggravator of her suffering to a higher notch. 

Human beings always want the power to exercise their free will at all cost. When we are being introduced to the story, Connie puts the ability of exercising her free will into play by deceiving her mother of the plans she has with her friends just not to attend the family barbeque. This is Connie exercising her freedom and free will as a young adult. As the story gets to an end, Connie’s ability to exercise this free will is questioned through the manipulations of Arnolds friends. Carol Oates refers to Connie’s “unexpected gesture of heroism” as a sign that she exercised the act of free will to sacrifice herself on behalf of her family in final scenes of the story. This may not be true in totality because the actions portrayed by Connie seem like she had lost total control of her own free will. She is a fractured soul and no one seems to notice. She is probably being controlled but no one can notice this since she had always felt the need to be her own kind of person and everyone around her was used to this part of her, even though it was a call for help from the suffering. 

In a world where the men are seen to be in charge, the women tend to suffer in silence since most the time, their world revolves around these men. Connie world is seen to revolve entirely and in totality around men. When she wants to gout to the mall to meet boys, she calls on her fathers’ friend to chauffer her. Upon being invited for dinner by Eddie, Connie willingly ditches her friend Becky to go with the boy. She considers Becky her friend, but she is just a footnote in her entire life. In all of her days, Connie just has saccharine fantasies regarding boys and the type of love she wants. She doesn’t have any strong relationships with her fellow female, they are constantly antagonistic. The story explores how there is bitter relationships between women, past Connie. Her mother and her aunts are in constant complaint about each other. Through all these, in the end Connie is undone by male preying and violence, reinforcing her dangerously insecure existence in the cruel man’s world. 

As human beings evolve, the craving to be independent always consumes the better part of us. As Connie nears adulthood, her constant search for independence is increased. Connie is seen to run into a first food restaurant that has so many older teenage boys and has popular music playing. She changes her persona and adopts different kind of mannerisms to relate with her peers. She has slowly started to cut herself off from her parents’ control and protection. During one of her secretive outings she encounters Arnold Friend, who ends ups exploiting her because he learnt how to easily manipulate her; using the thirst she had for independence and the desire to leave her childhood in the past. Through a series of emotional and potential physical violence, he forcefully makes her turn into an adult brutally cutting her off from the life she had ones known. This causes her ultimate suffering since her search for independence didn’t come naturally, but brutally hastened. 

As adolescents’ transition into adulthood, they are normally in constant war with reality and the blurring fantasies they wish for. Connie is seen to spend a whole lot of her time fantasying about boys and love. When she’s is in her bedroom or even her backyard, she is easily drifted in and out of day dreams accompanied by the music she really loves. When she encounters Arnold Friend, the lured lines between reality and the fantasies she kept on having, becomes even more blurrier causing her to be more disturbed and confused. She sees their entire encounter as surreal. The inability to distinguish what one can get in the real world from the fantasies can make one to make so many mistakes that leads one hurt and even more suffering. 

It is not very uncommon for people to have a split type of personality. There are people who constantly change their personality to fit a certain crowd of people just to fit in or to get to prove a point to themselves. Connie and the boy he met; Arnold Friend, have some kind of ambiguous identity. Depending on the environment Connie finds herself in, she changes her persona to fit in; when she is at home, she’s a different person, when she’s hanging out with her friends, she is another person. On the other hand, Arnold Friend has given people the illusion that he is just a teenage boy, however deep inside she is a sinister. The two may have met because they have the same problem with the way they choose to present their identity. The ambiguity in identity can cause one to land in serious problems like it eventually did to Connie making her to suffer in ways she never signed up for. 

In the event of trying to explore the world people can be stripped of their innocence in ways they had not imagined. 15 years old adolescent Connie, is so busy with her looks, going crazy for materialistic things and always in constant row with her parents while in her quest of trying to explore her own little world. Connie is a naïve little girl and this is clearly showed in thee way she handles her sexuality. Her sexual opinions are from the movies she watches and music she listens to. She dresses up and goes to restaurants to hang out with boys and have a great time. she is not in love with these boys, but the attention she gets from them is like a drug, she craves so much. When he meets Arnold Friend, the guy lies that he’s a teenage boy, however after sometime, Connie realizes that he is a grown man who just wants sex. This is when reality hits her and the though of sex with this man suddenly seemed so gruesome. She however, gives in due to the fear of her family being hurt. This thought caused her to hurt emotionally, as well as she knows this man is going rob her of her innocence in the most brutal way, she had not seen coming at all. 

Works cited

• Oates, Joyce Carol, and Tobias Wolff. Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?. Difusión, Centro de Investigación y Pubicaciones de Idiomas, 2013.
• Urbanski, Marie. 'Existential Allegory: Joyce Carol Oates's' Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?'.' Studies in Short Fiction 15.2 (1978): 200.