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The Time I Took a Risk and Its Effect on Me

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The time I took a risk was the time when I almosted died. You may be thinking that happened to you well to tell you that I will have to take you back way back to the year of 1843 the year I was born. I was born up in the northern states where all man black or white to live and work together as one. Well boy was my family wrong up north was just as bad so down south. That’s what Ma said all the time because that’s what my grandma used to say. She died before I was born she was a runaway slave she got lucky to get out of the south. When I turned 14 I had to try and get a job so I could help Ma with some of the bills we had to pay.

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My Pa he died a couple years ago it was hard on Ma so I thought I would help her out you know try and make a few bucks a month. Well I got a job at a factory making cotton pickers. I was working there for a month my job help Ma a lot I was making 3 bucks a week at this point a lot more than I thought I would get. There was only 2 or 3 of us black boy working here but it was all good. One day after work I started walking home and I heard someone yelling behind a building. When I went back there to see what going on someone put a bag over my head and through me in the back of a wagon. I started to scream and haller but all that got me was a boot to my side. I was in the back on that wagon what felt like forever. The last thing I can remember about that wagon ride was when we stopped. The people that took me brought me to some old looking barn. When I they took the bag off my head I started to look around and all I could see was a bunch of rich looking white men. When I clicked I was being sold to become a slave. I started to scream for help but that didn’t work all I got was a bunch of white men looking at me. I was standing there for about 10 minutes until this one man walked over to me and examined my body after a few minutes that man gave this tall man the money and walked to me. He gave me this weird look and then he grabbed me and put me in a wagon. I knew exactly what just happened to me and where I was going. When we got to where we were going I got out of the wagon and the man told me to go to the barn. When I got over to the barn and I heard a voice say “Hey it looks like we got a new one. ” I was tired so I just went to a stop on the ground that looked ok to sleep on.

The nest day I got woke up buy a little kid. The kid said time for work. When the kid woke me up I thought it was just a bad dream but when I got up off the ground I looked around and saw that I was in a barn. I started to freak out but the kid just said to go out in the field and start picking so that’s what I did day after day after day it started to feel normal I had been there for about 2 years now. One day the man how bout us came into the barn and say get ready to go to war. Me and the other slaves didn’t know what was going on so we walked outside and them some man in a uniform started loading us in to wagons. When we were all in the wagons they alerted moving. We were in those wagons for about 6 hours. When they stopped about 17 men with gums walked to each wagon and started unloading us. After we were all unloaded they walked us to a campsite. When we got to the site people started giving us uniforms and guns. I could tell that some of us haven’t ever held a gun. After most of us got our uniforms on this man came over and started telling us that we were about to go to war. A lot of us got scared at that point and put our gums down. Just them the man shot someone in the chest. The man he shot fell over in pane. In a few minutes the man died. Then we all picked up our guns and stood there quickly. The man started to talk again put when he started to talk this group of men started running over the hills around us. Everyone of the men had a gun in hand. All I could do was drop to the ground and hide under a table. When I got over to the table I started hearing gunshots I saw me some of my friends jump to the ground and I also saw some of they fall over died. After the gunshots stopped I saw the men run over to the camp and started to try and see if everyone was died. When they were doing that I stood up and started to run as fast as I could into the woods not knowing if I was going to get shot or not. When I stopped running I was a good ways from the camp. Just that second when I thought I was save this man jumped on me. The person that was on me was someone I worked with in the factory before I got took. He started hitting me so I said his name and he stopped hitting. He looked at me and started saying he was sorry. When we got up and started walking to a different camp. He told me all about some war that way going on called the civil war. When we got to the camp I got on a wagon and started heading home.

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The risk I took was running into the woods from the men at the camp I learned to not go behind a building in the middle of the night.

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The essay lacks coherence and organization, making it challenging to comprehend the writer's message. Several grammatical errors, punctuation errors, and typos also hinder the reader's ability to understand the narrative. The essay would require a substantial amount of revision and editing to make it more comprehensible.
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The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, such as "almosted" instead of "almost," "through" instead of "threw," and "pane" instead of "pain," among others. The essay also suffers from a lack of punctuation and capitalization errors, making it challenging to comprehend the narrative. For example, the essay writer uses run-on sentences without proper punctuation or capitalization, making the essay's content confusing. For example, in the first paragraph, the writer says, "I was born up in the northern states where all man black or white to live and work together as one." Instead, it would be best if the writer had written: "I was born in the northern states, where black and white men lived and worked together as one." In terms of organization, the essay lacks coherence and clarity, making it challenging to comprehend the writer's message. The essay moves from one idea to another without clear connections between them, making it challenging to understand the writer's point of view. For instance, the writer moves from describing his family's history to his work in the factory, to being kidnapped and sold as a slave, and then to being forced to fight in a war. The writer does not provide clear transitions between the different sections of the essay, making it hard to follow the narrative. The essay also lacks focus as the writer fails to establish a clear central idea or thesis statement. The essay's central idea is unclear, making it difficult for the reader to understand what the writer wants to communicate. For example, the writer fails to answer the question of how the risk he took affected him, as the title suggests. The writer also uses a passive voice, making the essay dull and uninteresting to read. The passive voice makes the essay's content unclear and makes it difficult to understand the writer's point of view. For example, instead of writing "I worked at a factory making cotton pickers," the writer says "I got a job at a factory making cotton pickers." Using active voice could make the essay more engaging to read. Overall, the essay requires significant revisions and editing to improve its coherence, clarity, and readability. The essay requires clearer transitions, better organization, proper grammar, and punctuation. It would be best to rephrase some sentences and avoid using a passive voice. The writer should also establish a clear central idea and focus on it throughout the essay.
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The Time I Took a Risk and Its Effect on Me. (2020, July 14). GradesFixer. Retrieved June 4, 2023, from
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