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Today I am going to try and convince you that video games are good for your health and brain despite the stereotypes in today’s society. In today’s society the stereotype on video games is that if you play them then you will have brain damage, eye strain, and many other health defects. Through my reading of many online articles, I have found that these stereotypes are in fact not true and according to scientific evidence video games can actually provide some interesting health benefits. Many of you like me may play a lot of video games and often hear your parents say “get off that thing you’ve been on it way too long. ” or “get off the xbox it’s not good for your health”. According to the iD Tech and Huffington Post articles I read, video games can improve and strengthen many things throughout your body such as eyesight, hand-eye coordination, different parts of your brain, and even have positive psychological effects.
To begin with, According to iD Tech a study in Berlin found that video games can stimulate different parts of your brain such as the prefrontal cortex, right hippocampus, and cerebellum. Many strategic games such as Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six Siege involve thinking about where you and your team are going to move and defend from while keeping the enemy away from the hostage. These type of games work the prefrontal cortex which is a part of the brain that helps you make decisions, and plan for activities. Secondly, games such as Halo and Battlefield have you constantly running around the map to kill other players in order to obtain points for you team and this can often get very fast paced, and crazy very quickly! These games can work a part of your brain called the cerebellum which controls how quickly you can react to things and help to improve it. Also according to Huffington Post a 2009 study at the University of Rochester stated that playing first-person shooter games can help to improve your vision. Through this study the scientists observed people playing Call of Duty and after some time found that those playing it had improved their ability to discern color contrast.
Thirdly, games such as Assassin’s Creed and Skyrim which both have huge open worlds which require you to observe your surroundings to find more quests have been shown to work your right hippocampus which is the part of your brain that controls how you process information from studying, learning, listening etc. Finally, many scientific studies have shown that elderly people who play video games can retain more knowledge, and memories, and playing these games can even slow down the aging process.
Finally according to Engadget. com more and more adults primarily being parents, and grandparents are starting to point fingers at video games as the cause of violence in kids. With more and more violent games being created many parents are starting to worry about how these games are affecting are generation and if we’re more prone to violent acts. In fact a couple of months ago after the horrendous Parkland school shooting that killed many and injured even more people, according to engadget. com a couple of politicians blamed violent video games for encouraging this type of violence. According to Engadget a 2004 study by the US Secret Service on the motives of school shootings found only 12% of attackers which is 5 out of 41 people played violent video games. With all this being said I think this “video games cause and incite violent behavior” stereotype has been debunked.
Finally, throughout my reading of iD Tech, Huffington Post, and Engadget, I personally learned a lot that I previously never knew about playing video games. I never knew that sitting on my couch and talking to my friends while I press buttons on Fortnite could actually improve parts of my brain.
Although the writer has made a commendable effort to be descriptive, there are nevertheless some improvements that can be made to the essay. Firstly, it is recommended that for academic writing, the use of first and second person should be avoided since this is not in line with the style of academic writing. Instead, the writer must use evidence and logical reasoning to support the arguments of the thesis statement. The hook sentence is not effective and the writer should instead construct one that generally alludes to the thesis statement. This must be followed by a brief introduction to video games. The thesis statement is not concise. At the end of the first paragraph, the writer needs to convey in a singular sentence that video games are beneficial and briefly state what these benefits are. The evidence presented is not sufficient to support the arguments in the thesis statement. Therefore, the writer needs to add more examples to score a higher mark. Word choice is appropriate and the writer’s expression is clear. There are also no major problems in sentence construction except for issues with preposition use and readability is high. However, the organization of the essay needs improvement. This can be done by adding subheadings and by making sure that each paragraph elaborates on only one point.
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