What Counts as Cheating in a Relationship?

download print

About this sample

About this sample


Words: 2274 |

Pages: 4|

12 min read

Published: Sep 18, 2018

Words: 2274|Pages: 4|12 min read

Published: Sep 18, 2018

In a very broad sense, cheating involves betraying a partner’s expectations about the type of contact the cheater has with others. When a husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, violates one’s expectations about what is appropriate, people feel betrayed. Keep in mind that relationships are not based on logic, but are influenced by our emotions. As a result, cheating is difficult to define because people differ in the type of contact they feel it is appropriate for a partner to have with someone else. For example, some people believe that it is unacceptable for a partner to: Flirt with others. Engage in sexual talk with someone else. Exchange personal e-mails or text messages. Deny being married or in a relationship. Spend time with specific individuals. Engage in specific types of contact—sleeping in the same bed with another person. Purchase intimate gifts and presents for others. Chat online with someone else (online affairs)Have sexual contact with someone else (physical infidelity)Become emotionally involved with someone else (emotional infidelity)Develop a crush or feelings for another individual. Share their most private thoughts and feelings with someone else. Become best friends with someone of the opposite sex. And the list could go on and on.

'Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned'?

Again, the main point is that individuals differ in what they consider to be an acceptable form of contact with other people. At one extreme, some couples think it is acceptable to have sex and fall in love with someone else (see polyamory), while some people view flirting with another person as being inappropriate. Cheating is complex because the definition varies so widely. However, when someone violates a partner’s expectations, the emotional outcome is the same their partner feels betrayed and rejected. Cheating is also problematic because couples rarely discuss exactly what their expectations are. In any given relationship, what one person considers to be acceptable may differ from what a partner thinks is appropriate. Many problems arise in relationships because people do not see eye-to-eye on this issue. And to make matters worse, many people do not like to define what counts as cheating. Many people prefer not to define what counts as cheating because by keeping the rules vague and ambiguous, it makes it easier to cheat. If you don’t know what the rules are, you really can’t break them—or some people like to think.

Why Do People Cheat? The reasons for cheating can run the gamut. According to Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., one main driver (that can be especially harmful) is the compulsion to feel good at any given moment regardless of relationship status. “Certain types of people are focused on instant gratification,” she explains. “They cheat as a matter of course, and don’t consider that they should be faithful. People who feel entitled to sex any way they can get it, will always rationalize cheating, and just keep doing it. They don’t want to work on marital issues, or learn to keep intimacy alive with the same person. They get their jollies from illicit sex.” If you’ve had a conversation about infidelity with any group of people, there’s usually someone who throws out the idea that happy people don’t cheat. Dr. Tessina says that there is some merit to that, albeit, not always the case. “Research shows that women cheat because they feel emotionally deprived, and men because they feel sexually deprived,” she says. “With illicit affairs quite easily available online or at the office, it’s often easier for a spouse who is dissatisfied with the relationship to transfer affection to someone else than to take the emotional risk of talking to a partner about dissatisfaction.”

Relationships take work, and when one or both parties aren’t willing to put the effort in, it can feel easier to find what’s lacking elsewhere. “While most marital dissatisfaction is not that hard to fix, and cheating is usually emotionally devastating for everyone, the cheater has an ‘instant gratification’ mentality, and is just doing what feels good, and feeling unable to control it,” says Dr. Tessina. “He or she is not thinking of future problems (at least, when connecting with the other person) and is just masking emotional pain.” You may have heard the idea (or even joked with your partner) about the idea of a “pass” list — essentially, 2-3 celebrity crushes you have that, if ever the opportunity presented itself, your significant other would be OK with you sleeping with as a one time thing. Granted, these types of conversations are all in fun — because there’s no way you’re likely ever going to have the chance to nail that supermodel.

But author Kevin Darné says that this concept is actually not that farfetched in terms of one type of cheater who can’t say no to an unbelievable opportunity. “This person is not proactively looking to cheat,” he explains. “They may have a secret crush on a coworker or even a stranger they cross paths with at Starbucks or wherever. One day this person flirts or hits on them! There’s an opportunity to turn a fantasy into reality and be with this hot person. Maybe the married person’s spouse is out of town or the would be cheater is away on business and the chance of getting caught is extremely remote. Essentially, this may be a once in a lifetime opportunity to be with him or her. On occasion, this type of cheater may give into peer pressure. They may be hanging out with their friends in hotel lounge bar who are egging them on to go for it. Cheaters like this are guilty of caving in to temptation.”

Why Do Women Cheat? We Got 5 To Reveal Their Motivations What Real Women Say: “Cheating for me was a total escape from day-to-day life,” says Simone, 34. “It was exciting. But I’m not sure if it means you shouldn’t be together. I think that depends on the reason why you cheated. In my case, it was like therapy to get through what I was unhappy with in my life. I think it is different for everyone, but I will say if you’re only in a relationship a short time and you or your partner is cheating, then you probably shouldn’t be together.” 2. Can Your Relationship Recover From Cheating? You’ve seen it whenever a new extramarital affair scandal breaks with someone in the public eye — the spouse stands by throughout the turmoil. If a couple that’s facing infidelity so publicly can reconcile, we should be able to do it too, right? Yes, and no. Sexologist Dr. Megan Stubbs says that having your relationship make a full recovery can be a very long road — one that, if you ever do reach the destination, would require a lot from both parties in order to rectify. “Cheating is one of the most devastating things that can happen in a relationship,” says Dr. Stubbs. “Cheating is a violation of trust, and that is one of the key foundations in any kind of relationship.

Once you (or the cheater) come clean, there needs to be a plan put in place. It takes energy from both sides to rebuild the trust and intimacy in the relationship.” And this process can come with new parameters being enforced  ones that may be hard for both sides to acclimate to. “Sometimes the adoption of new rules like open social media or cell phone access will be requested from the other partner,” she says. “Whatever rules or agreements you put in place in your relationship are personal. There is no list of must-haves on the healing-from-cheating plan.

Know that the healing process takes time. It is up to you and your partner to determine how long you need to heal and when trust is reestablished. This isn’t a two-week fix.” Dr. Tessina agrees, and says that if both parties are willing and focused on mending the relationship after one person cheated, it can be Cheating on exams Detaljer Skriv ut Målgruppe: Studenter Tema: Eksamen Tagger: cheating plagiarism cheating on exams academic sanctions Cheating on exams can result in serious consequences for the student who cheats. If you are caught cheating, you may be banned from the university for a year, you may be denied the right to take the exam at other universities and university colleges, and your exam from the course in which you cheated will be annulled. Norsk versjon – Juks på eksamen Looking for something else?

Examples of cheating Cheating on other assignments Checks for plagiarism Examples of cheating # Providing an answer taken from the Internet that is wholly or partly presented as your own answer. Providing an answer that was wholly or partly used by another person from a previous exam. Providing an answer that was wholly or partly prepared by another person. Providing an answer that was wholly or partly used by the student at a previous exam. Submitting practical or artistic work that was created by someone other than the student him- or herself.

Copying quotes from textbooks or other academic sources, other people’s theses, information taken from the Internet or the like which is supplied without stating the source of the information and without clear marking that it is not original work. Illegal aids that you take with you to the exam. Cheating on other assignments # Large obligatory assignments or reports that must be approved in order for the student to take the exam also fall under the same rules as for cheating on exams. It is your responsibility to become familiar with the rules that apply to your work in terms of use of sources and references, as well as what kinds of aids are allowed in examinations or in the production of written or technical work. If you are uncertain about which rules apply, you should contact the responsible individuals in your academic discipline. Checks for plagiarism # NTNU has a system that enables documents and exams to be checked for plagiarism. All assignments, exams, theses and reports that are submitted can be checked for plagiariasm.

NTNU’s Central Appeals Board decides what kinds of sanctions will be levied in the case of plagiarism or cheating. You can read more about this issue in the guidelines for handling cheating and attempts at cheating on exams at NTNU (pdf, in Norwegian). Cheating on exams can result in you being banned from university and having your examination results annulled. Recent Examples of cheat from the Web What is better than spending a few minutes guessing which A-list actress is cheating on her husband with her director? — allie jones, The Cut, “The Juiciest Anonymous Gossip of 2017,” 14 Dec. 2017 The move follows failure by EU members to enforce rules for the auto industry, as Volkswagen AG cheated on emissions tests and other manufacturers produced cars that didn’t comply with standards. — emre peker, WSJ, “Auto Makers Could Face Big Fines Under New European Rules,” 7 Dec. 2017 The noir thriller, directed by Bergman’s husband Roberto Rossellini, revolves around the blackmailing of a cheating wife. — douglas perry,, “The 25 worst movie performances by the best actors of all time, Golden Globes edition,” 5 Jan. 2018.

These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word ‘cheat.’ Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback. Origin and Etymology of cheat 2cheat NEW! Time Traveler First Known Use: 1590 See Words from the same year cheat Synonyms Synonyms chicane, finagle, fudge Antonyms content, gratify, satisfy Related Words crib; color, distort, falsify, misinterpret, misrepresent, misstate, pervert, twist, warp; doctor, fake, tamper (with); elaborate, embellish, embroider, exaggerate, magnify, pad, stretch; dodge, evade, hedge Near Antonyms fulfill (or fulfil); gladden Synonym Discussion of cheat cheat, cozen, defraud, swindle mean to get something by dishonesty or deception. cheat suggests using trickery that escapes observation.

Get a custom paper now from our expert writers.

  • cheated me out of a dollar⟩ cozen implies artful persuading or flattering to attain a thing or a purpose.
  • always able to cozen her grandfather out of a few dollars⟩ defraud stresses depriving one of his or her rights and usually connotes deliberate perversion of the truth.
  • defrauded of her inheritance by an unscrupulous lawyer⟩ swindle implies large-scale cheating by misrepresentation or abuse of confidence. ·
  • swindled of their savings by con artists⟩ 2 cheat noun

Definition of cheat 1 : the act or an instance of fraudulently deceiving : deception, fraud His financial activity turned out to be a great cheat. 2 or cheat code : a code (such as a button combination or password) that activates a hidden feature or capability in a computer or video game In fact, some game levels are so tough that I had to resort to cheats to get through.—Peter Cohen Most people think that using a cheat code is the only way to earn a dishonest reward …—Christopher Breen 3 : one that cheats : pretender, deceiver is a liar and a cheat tax cheats 4 [probably from a deceptive resemblance to grain] a : chess 1 b : cheatgrass 5 : the obtaining of property from another by an intentional active distortion of the truth See cheat defined for English-language learners Recent Examples of cheat from the Web Cummings, also 17 and a high school senior in Beaufort, S.C., welcomes the banning of drug cheats. — helene elliott,, “At weightlifting World Championships, integrity of the sport is on the line,” 30 Nov. 2017 What sort of cad cheats on Emma Thompson? Alan Rickman’s glasses. — connie ogle, miamiherald, “Why we actually love ‘Love Actually’

Works Cited

  1. Darné, K. (2018). My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany). DKD Publishing.
  2. Ferreira, M. C. P., & Kerkhof, P. (2018). "I love you, but I cheated": Exploring responses to infidelity communication. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(7), 1038-1057.
  3. Hall, J. A., & Fincham, F. D. (2019). Psychological factors underlying the development and maintenance of extradyadic relationships. Current opinion in psychology, 25, 15-18.
  4. Harris, M. (2017). Cheating in Relationships. Rowman & Littlefield.
  5. Kumar, P., & Kothari, K. (2019). Extramarital affairs: A review of the literature. Journal of Psychosexual Health, 1(3), 209-216.
  6. Mark, K. P., Janssen, E., & Milhausen, R. R. (2011). Infidelity in heterosexual couples: demographic, interpersonal, and personality-related predictors of extradyadic sex. Archives of sexual behavior, 40(5), 971-982.
  7. Mark, K. P., Janssen, E., & Milhausen, R. R. (2011). Infidelity in heterosexual couples: demographic, interpersonal, and personality-related predictors of extradyadic sex. Archives of sexual behavior, 40(5), 971-982.
  8. Tessina, T. B. (2017). The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. Adams Media.
  9. Vaughn, K. D. (2017). A Typology of the Betrayed: Development of a Betrayal Typology to Predict Post-Betrayal Adjustment. Doctoral dissertation, Texas Tech University.
  10. Vaughn, K. D., & Fincham, F. D. (2018). A betrayal-specific model of forgiveness. Personal Relationships, 25(3), 532-546.
Image of Dr. Charlotte Jacobson
This essay was reviewed by
Dr. Charlotte Jacobson

Cite this Essay

What Counts as Cheating in a Relationship? (2018, September 04). GradesFixer. Retrieved December 1, 2023, from
“What Counts as Cheating in a Relationship?” GradesFixer, 04 Sept. 2018,
What Counts as Cheating in a Relationship? [online]. Available at: <> [Accessed 1 Dec. 2023].
What Counts as Cheating in a Relationship? [Internet] GradesFixer. 2018 Sept 04 [cited 2023 Dec 1]. Available from:
Keep in mind: This sample was shared by another student.
  • 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
  • Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours
Write my essay

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled


Where do you want us to send this sample?

    By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.


    Be careful. This essay is not unique

    This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

    Download this Sample

    Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts


    Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.



    Please check your inbox.

    We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!


    Get Your
    Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

    We can help you get a better grade and deliver your task on time!
    • Instructions Followed To The Letter
    • Deadlines Met At Every Stage
    • Unique And Plagiarism Free
    Order your paper now