Youthful Rebellion in Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been and A&P

The transition from childhood to adulthood is a time in which a young adult begins to learn about their place in the world, where they belong, who they are and observe the society around them. In these moments of self-discovery, many young adults take on new mindsets, ideas, and desires that eventually cause them to rebel against who they once were, family or even society. Although rebellious acts are not seen in a positive light, the experience itself helps a young adult grow from what they will experience and learn. In the coming of age experience, rebellion is an important factor during the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Rebellion helps develop your own identity, independence and teaches life lessons that must be experienced in order to grow. In the stories “A&P” by John Updike and “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates, the characters go through acts of rebellion that help them discover themselves and the world around them throughout their coming of age experience.

In “A&P” by John Updike, the main character Sammy is a nineteen-year-old boy who works at a grocery store called A&P. Throughout the story, Sammy observes the customers and coworkers and imagines what their life is like. He comes to the conclusion that they are all the same; they all live the same boring life and that leads him to call them sheep. Sammy realizes that he is on the same path to living the same mundane life as everyone in his small town and like most teenagers, he is desperate to break out of what society thinks is a good life. He wants to develop his own identity but does not how to execute that desire. However, when three girls who wore a bikini were confronted by his boss, Lengel, Sammy has an opportunity to break out and he does. Sammy states “ ‘I said I quit.’” Although this act of rebellion might seem small compared to rebellious acts today, quitting your job in the late 1950s was seen as a big deal considering the fact that many people worked small jobs and worked their way up the corporate ladder. This act of rebellion was the first stepping stone in Sammy building his own identity preventing him from becoming another sheep in a pasture called society.

Just like Sammy, a character from the story “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates named Connie also develops her identity through rebellion. Connie is a typical fifteen-year-old teenage girl who has a strained relationship with her family and is consumed by appearances. Due to this, she has a superficial view of the world and her family causing her to get into altercations throughout the story. When her mother scolds her for her constant desire to look into a mirror to see herself “ Connie would raise her eyebrows at these familiar complaints and look right through her mother… she knew she was pretty and that was everything.” In this small act of rebellion against her mom, Connie develops her identity around her beauty. This can be seen displayed throughout the text when she worries about her looks, from her staying back from a family event to wash her hair and even at the end when Arnold Friend makes a comment about her appearance. She knew she was beautiful and to her, that is what mattered most.

Her identity in her appearance allows her to break away from becoming like her mother and her sister. Her mother is a domestic figure and her sister is a working woman, they both live mundane lives and do not live up to Connie’s beauty standards. Connie can not envision herself living the lives that they have, so she focuses on her beauty which her mother hates. Her mother’s reaction only validates Connie’s desire to be different because she is not her mother’s ideal version of her child. This validation and desire only cause her to rebel again and develop her identity further in her appearance.

Another reason why rebellion is an important process in the transition to adulthood is that it helps develop independence. Towards the end of the story, this is displayed when Sammy quits. Before that crucial moment, Sammy was very dependent on his family. He wanted to fulfill their desires and please them. He also depended on them for tasks that he was capable of doing for himself, such as having his mother iron his white work shirt. When Sammy quit, Lengel attempted to place guilt and doubt in his mind by suggesting that he does not know what he is doing and then he mentions Sammy’s parents.“ ‘Sammy, you don’t want to do this to your Mom and Dad.’ he tells me. It’s true, I don’t”. At this moment, you can see how Sammy struggled with the decision of staying to please his parents or leaving to take a chance on the opportunity to build a better life for himself. He still decides to quit and rebels against his parents and essentially society’s desires allowing Sammy to develop independence and a sense of excitement and hope for his life. When Sammy retells the story he states “Now here comes the sad part of the story, at least my family says it’s sad, but I don’t think it’s so sad myself”. Despite, going against his parent’s desire and upsetting them he still does not regret his choices and that speaks volumes on the growth of his independence.

In the second story, the search for independence through rebellious acts is displayed in Connie’s everyday life. In the beginning, she slowly distances herself from her family, their protection and their control and begins to assert her free will. She does this by lying about multiple things and missing a family event. She first lies about going to the movies or shopping and goes to the drive-in instead to hang out with older kids, boys , and her friends. As the story continues she lies to her mother by pretending to dislike one of her friends who her mother is concerned about. It is apparent that throughout this search for independence and her desire to leave her childhood behind that she develops two different sets of mannerism. The text states: “Everything about her had two sides to it, one for home and one for anywhere that was not home”. At home when Connie is around family, her freedom and independence are restricted by her family, whereas, everywhere else she is able to be herself and assert her independence.

In the Coming of age experience, rebellion not only helps develop identity or independence but it also teaches life lessons. In “A&P”, Sammy learned various valuable lessons from the beginning to the end of the short story. First, he learned about speaking up for himself and others. Prior to quitting his job or speaking up, Sammy appears to avoid conflict at all times and rather just allow things to happen without expressing himself to others. At the beginning of the story, this is displayed with his first interaction with a customer who gave him a hard time. Rather than expressing himself, he just internalizes the situation and keeps his thoughts to himself. Another example of this is when one of Sammy Coworkers mentions his desire to become a manager or even when the girls were approached by Lengel; both of those times Sammy just stood quiet rather than speak his mind. However, that all changed once Sammy made the decision to stick up for others. Towards the end of the story right when he makes the decision to quit he confronts his Boss and says“ ‘I said I quit… You didn’t have to embarrass them.’ ‘It was they who were embarrassing us.’ …. ‘I don’t think you know what you’re saying.’ Lengel said. ‘ I know you don’t,’ I said ‘ But I do’.” In that process of speaking up for the girls, he learns to speak up for himself too.

Another lesson Sammy learns is that there are consequences to every action and as an independent adult you must be dealt with. Sammy impulsively quits and walks out of the store realizing that he did not have a plan for his future income or his parent’s reaction causing him to feel like his stomach fell because he understood how hard the world was going to be for him. He understood that since he was grown enough to quit on his own basis, then he would be responsible for finding himself a new job which was not common during that time period. The rebellious act of quitting taught him two lessons: speak up for yourself and others, and when it comes time to make an important decision do not act on impulse.

Connie also learns very important life lessons in the midst and aftermath of the rebellion. As mentioned in previous paragraphs, Connie is desperately trying to break away from her childhood and transition to adulthood. So when Arnold Friend, a man who presents himself as a teenager comes into the storyline. Due to her identity being wrapped up in appearances, Arnold intrigued Connie. He also takes advantage of her by exploiting her desire of freedom from her current life (childhood) to full-on independence. He then gives her the option to go with him or put her family in danger. Connie surprisingly becomes selfless and goes with him to protect her family even despite the adversities they faced. Connie is forced to learn that appearances are deceiving as it’s displayed with Arnold Friend. Connie also learns the importance of family and the reader can make that assumption based on her decision to leave rather than stay and wait for them to come home to help. Despite the negative outcome of the story, those two lessons displayed the growth that is necessary for the coming of age experience which only comes from rebelling and learning from one’s mistakes.

To conclude, the coming of age experience is a unique experience for each and every individual. For some, it’s a positive experience with few adversities, like Sammy. While for others, it’s an experience filled with multitudes of hardships like Connie’s experience. However, one thing that all of the transitions have in common is acts of rebellion. In the coming of age experience, rebellion is an important factor during the transition from adolescence to adulthood because it helps develop your own identity, independence and teaches life lessons that must be experienced in order to grow. In the stories “A&P” by John Updike and “ Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates, the coming of age experience and acts of rebellion are projected throughout the story and display the changes that helped the characters discover themselves and the world around them.