How It Feels to Be a Triplet: Lessons of Patience and Leadership

Being a triplet comes with daily quirky questions. I do not remember the exact moment when I realized my background was special; growing up, having both a brother and sister my own age certainly did not feel unusual. But as we mature, it is increasingly apparent that my situation is a blessing. So this essay is about being a triplet and how it effects my life.

“So, like, if I pinch you, will the other two feel it?”

“Are you all identical, even the boy?”

”How many minutes are you oldest by?”

Lauren has taught me the importance of embracing uniqueness. She and I are nearly opposite: On the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I am an ENTJ (extraversion, intuition, thinking, judging) and she is an INFJ (introversion, intuition, feeling, judging). For a long time, these contrasts were challenging rather than complementary to our relationship. We made everything a contest — who could be smartest, prettiest, Mom’s favorite and all else under the sun. Of course sibling rivalry is natural, but being the same age heightened the blatancy of our differences. We constantly judged each other for our differences and tried so hard to be what we could not be. I could not fully love my sister until we matured and used our contrasting qualities to our advantage. Our relationship has taught me that some things are just not worth the competition; we have different gifts, and it was miserable constantly comparing ourselves. My sister has pushed me to reflect on my strengths and weaknesses. More importantly, this self-awareness has taught me how to utilize my talents to support others and to myself accept help.

Alex has taught me that slow and steady can still win the race that I usually sprint. By the time I was going out with friends every weekend and even traveling on my own, he was a still an awkward Abuela’s boy that played video games all the time. What I did not see was that he was developing into an adult, just at a slower pace than I was. He was a late bloomer, and only as an upperclassman did his patience manifest in fantastic friends, a sincere passion for history and a body like Adonis. His willingness to wait yielded detailed, quality results which has taught me to stop rushing to the next milestone and enjoy life as it comes. Often, I get so wrapped up in trying to be as productive as possible that I don’t give myself room to breathe; my brother has proved to me that patience is a respectable virtue. I used to be obsessed with rampant progress, but he has inspired me to let good things take their time and not judge others in their life journey.

My siblings have taught me how to be a leader amongst equals. I have realized that leadership is not about telling people how or what to do, but rather it is guiding others in doing their best work. Additionally, being a leader is not the job of one person; on a team, everyone is a leader in his and her own right. Just as I have led my brother and sister how to be better, they have inspired me to reach my potential, and we have learned different lessons together as a cohesive unit of three moving parts.

I’ll never get sick of the strange questions because it means I have the gift of a very special life. My siblings have taught me compassion, responsibility, forgiveness, patience, self-awareness, and other gifts that I’m likely not even aware of. When our mom would chide us with “be nice to each other, you’re all each other have,” we would groan and roll our eyes — but now I see that I would not be one-third of the girl I am if I weren’t a triplet. In this next chapter of my life, the pillars of fraternity and solidarity that Alex and Lauren have built in me will serve as a life guide.