About Death of a Father: My Reflecting on Life and Loss

This essay delves into the profound and transformative experience of losing a father, a pivotal event that reshaped my perspective on life and purpose. "There is goodness in everything that happens," a maxim instilled by my parents, became a beacon of resilience and hope through various challenges. Yet, the true test of this belief came with the hardest loss I've ever faced – the death of a father. His passing not only left a void but also imparted invaluable lessons about love, strength, and the importance of living fully. Herein, I explore the indelible impact of this life-altering event and the enduring lessons it taught me about overcoming adversity and finding purpose amidst grief.

April 30, 2016 was the day I truly thought I could no longer see any good in life anymore. In every harsh situation, my dad had always been there to remind me that everything will be better- something I lost all too quickly. To be able to accept the fact that he’s no longer on earth was just too much. Pancreatic cancer cost my father his life. However, this disease managed to changed everything I ever knew. For the remainder of 2014, I was in a bubble of memories, I keep remembering every inconvenient I went through and how my father helped me get through it. But one memory, that never happened to leave my mind was the simplest and perhaps oldest memory. I remember getting my first D ever, and going back home in tears and the only person who managed to make me smile was him. He told me “Getting a D isn’t the end of the world, in fact, that D will motivate you to work harder and put more effort.” Fortunately, he was right, the second semester I changed that D to a C and I can still remember the excitement and happiness in his face telling me “I knew you could do it.” That memory woke me up, I realized that the life I was living was not the one Dad would have wanted for me. He wouldn’t want me to stay upset and give up on myself or my life in that case. He wants me to live and learn, not grieve and lose sight of everything else that I still have around me. From my birth to his dying breath, he was the perfect example of someone who loved life; he made the most out of everyday he had, even during his chemotherapy treatments. Not once have I seen my father with a frown on his face, he endured all the pain and smiled. Whether it was to keep himself stronger, or to encourage us to never stop believing, it worked. Remembering all those moments, those memories and those lessons from my father changed my perspective in life. I felt guilty that the end of his life caused me to stop living mine. Following this realization, I woke up each morning with my Dad’s simple philosophy of life in my mind: live. And so I lived.

My father’s death, undoubtedly the worst thing I have ever experiences, ultimately made me stronger. Once I was able to learn how to exist without him, life got less lonely. In fact, I was more motivated to live, to work hard, to achieve my goals and make my family proud. I stopped feeling sorry for myself, as life could always get worse - but could also get better, just like my dad taught me. His death taught me to love deeper, to appreciate what I have rather than what I had, and inspired me to make a lasting impact. His death taught me that we all have some sort of purpose on this earth, and his was to show people how to truly live. A huge lesson I learnt however, was based on the concept of last words. It’s impossible to know when you are speaking to someone for the last time. I can’t begin to express how grateful I am that the last words my father ever heard me say were that I’m here if you need anything. Therefore, the last words of this essay are the most important. I will work hard, I will never stop believing in myself, I will do my best to make my father proud. I will live my life and I endure to make a difference.