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Why M.S. in Commerce: College Admission Essay Sample

About this sample

About this sample


Words: 498 |

Pages: 1|

3 min read

Published: Jul 18, 2018

Words: 498|Pages: 1|3 min read

Published: Jul 18, 2018

The University of Virginia has been good to me. I had the college life of storybooks—lazy afternoons on the Lawn, head-scratching debates about philosophy, and spirited evenings at athletic events. As a third year, I should be looking forward to a traditionally exciting fourth year, when I can frequent the Corner more often than Clemons. However, I’m one step ahead.

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First year, I learned about the M.S. in Commerce, but I shied away from it for the same reason why I didn’t consider McIntire as an undergraduate. Back then, “business” only meant “doing things for money” to me. I wondered why so many smart people would go that route, when there’s so much more to life than material gain. While I majored in economics, my motivation was to better understand decision-making, politics, and the science behind our economy, not to make money. I concluded that the competitive business world simply wasn’t my best fit.

Long story short, I was wrong. Since then, my ideas have matured considerably due to experiences that have shown the pervasiveness of business skills in the places that matter to me most. I first tasted this as a sales associate at LUSH Cosmetics, where I did more than just sell makeup and soap. Through clever marketing and brand positioning, Lush sells the idea that its products will make people beautiful inside and out. I was proud to work for a company that sourced all ingredients ethically and fought against animal testing, but I was more impressed by how these feel-good initiatives transformed into profitability.

I then began working at a local nonprofit, the Center for Open Science (COS). As a human resources intern at COS, I got an insider look at the employer challenges of small startups and nonprofits. After studying abroad, I returned to COS this summer as a software tester intern. While building technical skills, I also learned the importance of strong organization and leadership. Due to rapid expansion, the communication between developers and management faltered, and the community team faced increased publicity and pressure to expand the userbase. As a result of my internship, I also discovered that I enjoyed being at the point of intersection of technology and society.

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Now I know that the true meaning of business is creating value, not money, for all parties. To sharpen my business skills, I enrolled in the McIntire Business Institute, but the M.S. in Commerce is the ultimate destination. Instead of waiting another year, I’m seizing the opportunity to jumpstart my career now with the program’s global perspective and immersive education. Furthermore, the business analytics track would accelerate me to the forefront of innovative business software, which I can leverage toward a more tech-focused environment. With energy and passion, I would like to help inspiring companies reach their goals through a career in business analysis or consulting. The M.S. in Commerce would build value on top of my existing foundation of undergraduate courses and diverse, hands-on experience.

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