A Person's Gender Orientation: The Impact of Norms and Stereotypes

We’re all subliminally limited by our gender orientation. We’re always thinking about what attire we should wear that could match gender norms and wondering if others may dislike our appearance or hobbies even if we supposedly try to ignore it. But does it make a difference to conform to gender norms? Is this truly the result of gender stereotypes? How we choose gender orientation? These question will be answered in the essay. 

I saw that kind and able boy skip down the hallway with his new pink backpack that morning. He chose to be himself and made many friends on his first day of school. The able boy would always play with a group of girls during school and would always have a smile on his face. Society's standards and norms, however, shattered him. I admittedly shied away from being associated with a strange boy and kept my space from him. Boys would make fun of him for his irregularity and threw rocks at him. Girls would ostracize him and stopped playing with him. I vividly remember him getting scolded by his parents for his distinctiveness. He was different and alone. The able boy soon recognized and assimilated to the fact that certain genders had to like certain colors and play certain activities to be accepted by others. He decided to change himself. To play boys sports and like the color blue. To conform to standards that he did not like and to pursue passions that only boys could supposedly pursue. To this day, that colorless boy looks back at his former self and thinks of how foolish and weird he was for being the original version of himself. That once able boy that I’ve never talked to took the same path that other boys have taken and it has made all the difference.

Complexities of Gender and Sexual Orientation 

To continue, gender is how we perceive ourselves whereas sexual orientation relates to who a person is attracted to. The University of Washington looked into this topic by giving two highschool classes identical math tests and notifying class A that boys on average performed better on the test than girls. Class B was only told to disregard any gender stereotypes that they have heard about one gender being better than the other at math. The pressure of performing better just to align with gender expectations got in class A’s heads. Girls scored an average of twelve in class A and the girls in class B scored an average of fifteen. The simple action to indicate gender even brings to mind the many negative implications of a certain gender’s expected performance in tests. Stanford has done a similar test and concluded that women on average scored twenty points lower in the math portion of the SAT when women were asked to indicate their gender. Men also experience disturbance when being involved with gender roles. A psychological test among 1,043 men reveals that “Male gender role conflict was significantly related to psychological distress” and that their were “correlations with attitudes about masculinity, fear of intimacy, and social desirability in expected directions”. Without gender congruence among others, humans naturally feel distressed being outliers. No one wants to be isolated. Society’s systematic and traditional view towards having only two gender restricts people who have mixed attributes among the two genders.

Today, such people that cannot align themselves within one of two genders are considered to have gender dysphoria. The people that feel completely different from male or female feel that they need a new label for themselves. These are people who historically have been labeled as sick, confused, or psychologically unstable. According to National Center For Transgender Equality, 40 percent of transgender people in a survey have attempted suicide in their life time because they did not feel that they fit in nor did they feel right. According to an NBC news report, Bri Barnette, a director at Trans Lifeline, states that transgender suicide is “not a personal failing” but rather “the product of a transphobic society that isolates trans people from support and resoruces and surround them with constant messages in the news, movies and sometimes comedy that they are freakish, wrong and unlovable.”

The gender spectrum is not well known among the majority of people. People will have misconceptions among others that have been born transgender. Others may think that simply ignoring these misconceptions are easy, but having to face these challenges everyday strains transgender people. Decker Moss, a transgender male, shared his 43 year journey of transitioning to another gender. In his TED Talk, he shares the numerous hurdles he had to go through as a transgender person in order to be treated as a male. Decker decided to surgically change himself to appear more masculine in hopes of being accepted by others and not having to explain his transgender story to every person he meets. Decker’s family doctor refused to see him and give him a surgical clearance and only diagnosed him with gender identity disorder. His fear of being denied by doctors even induced him to lie to his doctors when he had a blood clot from his breast removal. He describes the experience of being transgender like having a “birth defect” that constantly affects his life. Decker had to go through many forms, plane tickets, and explanations just because of gender norms. This incident would have been completely avoidable if there was a larger acceptance for people who struggle identifying themselves.

Conclusion

These gender norms play a major role in us. Early childhood also plays a major role in our development. That colorless boy would not have to mold his goals into a more acceptable one. He was able to live life out of passion and satisfaction, rather than out of conformity. Decker would not have to be classified as a mentally sick person and take years to transition genders. If we could change the way we think, unlearn some stereotypes that we’ve learned in our childhood, teach the future generation that the way we were born does not dictate our gender, the colorful side of us will proliferate into a more beautiful and meaningful life. 

References

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7. Prentice, D. A., & Carranza, E. (2002). What women and men should be, shouldn't be, are allowed to be, and don't have to be: The contents of prescriptive gender stereotypes. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 26(4), 269-281.

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8. Rudman, L. A., & Glick, P. (2008). The social psychology of gender: How power and intimacy shape gender relations. Guilford Press.