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In Misogyny in Of mice and Men the author Emery talks about how women are portrayed in the book. The roles she talks about are “that of homogeneous male fraternity not just to repress, but to eliminate women and femininity” as stated on page 70. What she is saying to me is that the male characters on mice and men are trying to eliminate from the memories or women in general. This is because they are men and men and apparently are trying to repress women entirely I agree and disagree with this statement. Well yes Steinbeck does portray women as negatively like Curley’s Wife all she did was tempt men and ruin dreams. The only women other women that are portrayed well are Aunt Clara who is a motherly figure and the women who owned the bar in the brothel. It never really hints at how femininity is bad and it should not exist in their guy group.
On page 71 there was a line that really stuck out to me because I disagree with it “George the masculine creator of this dream gives it voice and grounds it in the realm”. What this says is that George was the sole creator of a shared dream between him and Lennie of owning a farm and having rabbits for Lennie to take care of. I do see how he give it a voice and makes it realistic for the both of them he does explain it to Lennie but he’s not the only one who gives it a voice Lennie gave George his say in the dream farm. They both created this dream together George was inspired by Lennie to create this theoretical heaven for the both of them to aim for hope to get into or in. They both want to go to the dream farm yet George knows he cannot grasp his dream but he can’t
There is another interesting line on page 70 that says “George and Lennie represent the duality masculinity and femininity, their partnership a kind marriage.” I don’t see how this makes much sense George is masculinity and Lennie is femininity where I don’t really see where this ties in she does tie it in a bit in the sense that yes George is controlling and tries his best to be a leader. But he did not kill Lennie his closest thing to family for power he killed him out of mercy because it was either George kill Lennie himself or have someone filled with rage kill him. George killed Lennie with love someone else would do it out of pity or be influenced by another to do it. For example Candy’s dog he himself did not kill the dog someone else did out of pity and Candy regretted it so much. It would be the same with George since he knew from experience he knew he had to kill Lennie with love not pity.
There are several improvements that can be made to the essay. There is a lack of a hook sentence at the start of the essay. The first paragraph should begin with a hook sentence which generally alludes to the thesis statement. The writer has adequately introduced the text to provide context to the thesis statement but this can only occur after the hook sentence has been constructed. The essay also lacks a concise and informative thesis statement and the main argument of the essay is not effectively conveyed due to multiple errors which impede readability. The evidence presented is not extensive nor sufficient to support the arguments presented in the thesis statement and the writer needs to add more examples from the text to score a higher mark. Word choice is appropriate and the writer's expression is clear. There are, however, multiple problems in sentence construction through the entirety of the essay which reduce the quality of the essay. There are punctuation errors as well as grammatical errors which need to be corrected. Moreover, the organisation of the essay needs improvement. This can be done by subheadings and making sure that each paragraph elaborates on only one point.
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