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Los Angeles – We were greeted to our interview with basketball superstar and central figure of the Los Angeles sports scene, Kobe Bryant, with a pet tiger lying next to his ankles and the smell of marble statues in the air.
“Welcome to my home. Please don’t touch my new Bugatti or my tiger, they can get feisty,” Bryant warmly said.
As our crew descended into the athlete’s wealthily funded abode, we passed a small room with a small old man inside.
“Mr. Bryant, your popularity is skyrocketing in nearly every province of China! I think we’ll be able to renegotiate your contracts to an increase in profit of over 50%,” he yelled.
Our host simply nodded and turned with a smirk left on his face as we followed the footsteps of the custom shoes made with Italian leather. We finally arrived into the heart of the fortress as we took a seat on the couch made from some unknown animal. Mr. Bryant took a seat with one leg crossed over the other while a servant at his feet began shining the fancy footwear. Ready to inform viewers about living as the Kobe Bryant, the interviewee awaited my questions.
I began the interview by asking, “How does your playing style on the basketball court affect your overwhelming popularity among the world’s basketball fans?”
“Well, my elbows and wrists are unable to bend into an angle capable of making a pass. This forces me to shoot the ball and allows me to be an offensive powerhouse which is what the fans come to see. The style of play my teammates are forced to be accustomed to benefits everybody in the end. After all, who doesn’t want to watch Kobe Bryant and company?”
“So you’re saying that your unique style of selfishness on the court scores the points and also brings in the popularity for the team?” I asked.
“You must understand that popularity is not a single element. Popularity translates into the dollars that athletes such as I work hard for. Though I do in fact take a large portion of that wealth for my own and spend it on luxury shoes, I make up for it by being a role model to the team and to fans,” Bryant replied. “Plus they can touch the ball in practice.”
I looked at my watch and informed Mr. Bryant that his game was scheduled to begin in an hour. “Shouldn’t you be preparing at the arena by now? It’s getting quite late.”
Bryant nonchalantly responded by brushing away the servant that had moments ago, just shined his footwear up to the shoelaces. “My teammates won’t mind. I have the referees under control tonight,” said Bryant walking outside and stepping into one of many cars situated in the driveway. “This is my car I drive to home games in February.”
One of the cameramen asked, “What does that mean Kobe? Did you bribe the officials?”
Kobe took off in his vehicle without an answer at the slow speed of eighty miles per hour. Our crew scrambled into the company van and started the engine, trying to keep up with the trail of money floating to the ground that stemmed from the window of Kobe’s car.
“Wait!” we shouted. “Can you tell us more about Shaq? Did he pass the ball to you in practice? How much was the championship trophy worth compared to your trophy wife?”
But it was no use. As we hoped for another interview in the future with Kobe, all we could expect was a phone call with his less wealthy and less outspoken teammate, Dwight Howard.
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