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Answer on The Large-scale Question 'Who Am I'

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Words: 506 |

Page: 1|

3 min read

Published: Apr 8, 2022

Essay grade:
Satisfactory
arrow downward Read Review

Words: 506|Page: 1|3 min read

Published: Apr 8, 2022

Essay grade:
Satisfactory
arrow downward Read Review

I want to write and answer on the question 'Who Am I?'. I chose this question because it is the hardest question for me. In my opinion, it is hard to write about yourself. Especially when you do not know what to write. Then I get older, I accumulate more questions about myself. But still now I try to find answers on this large – scale question. 

'Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned'?

Who Am I? I think everyone in life ask this question. It can take a lot of time to understand who we are, or not understand. We gradually understand with age who we are. It can take days, weeks, months and years to understand who we are. At that time I can say what I am a person, who have my life position, my own worldview and my personal experience in my life. In my opinion, it is very hard to understand who we are because every day we learn something new, we get a new experience on a lot of new things, we try to make our life better. Now I want to be a good mum, for my beautiful children. They need mum who can responsibility them, who can love them all their life, who can be with them then they need a help. Maybe know I can say what I am not only a person, but I am a mum who has two beautiful girls. So, I think that procreation is one of the most important meaning in our life. Looking at a person from the point of view of biological, it is safe to say only that person’s main purpose is a continuation of the genus because a person is mortal, but life on Earth must continue. But this approach, I think, is too simple. We all see the progress that is linked to the world. One day will come the day when the formula of immortality will be opened, and the constant continuation of the genus will lose this meaning. Can it be argued in the context of this that a person must exist only to reproduce? Hardly, in today's world, it is already clear that person has more important goals. In particular, the improvement of peace, new scientific discoveries and more. However, it is worth remembering that one another cannot interfere. I have two beautiful children, two girls. I am very happy that they make me smile every day. They are my meaning of life. 

So, given all the above, to answer the question 'Who am I?'. I think the answer will now be much easier. Without denying the need to continue the race and life on Earth, I still identify myself as someone who seeks to improve the world. We are surrounded by a lot of imperfect ones, and I think I can make new discoveries that can improve the whole world around me. Like every other person, I am an undisclosed potential, a prospect of improving the world, a chance to make it a lot more interesting and diverse than it is now.

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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Satisfactory
What’s grading
minus plus
Expert Review
This essay attempts to answer the complex question "Who am I?" but struggles with its structure and clarity. The author focuses on the difficulty of the question and personal experiences, but the essay lacks clear organization and a coherent thesis. The sentences are often awkwardly constructed and contain grammatical errors that hinder the essay's readability. The author's voice is somewhat inconsistent, switching between first-person and second-person perspectives. To improve the essay, the author should consider developing a clear thesis and organizing the essay around that central idea. Additionally, the author should aim for more concise and grammatically correct sentences to improve readability.
minus plus
What can be improved
The essay's structure needs improvement as it lacks a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The author jumps into the topic without an introductory sentence to set the context. The author could have started with a hook sentence or a statement that briefly explains the question's importance to provide readers with a sense of the essay's direction. Additionally, the body paragraphs lack coherence and often move between personal anecdotes and philosophical musings. For example, in the second paragraph, the author talks about the question's complexity and how it takes time to understand oneself, then shifts to a biological perspective. To improve this, the author should consider grouping similar ideas together and developing clear transitions between paragraphs. Sentence structure and grammar are also problematic. For instance, the author wrote "Then I get older" instead of "As I get older," which is more grammatically correct. There are other errors, such as using "know" instead of "now" and missing commas, which affect the essay's readability. The author should consider using more concise and grammatically correct sentences to improve the essay's overall quality. The author's voice is inconsistent, switching between first-person and second-person perspectives. In some parts, the author addresses the reader directly, such as in the sentence "I think everyone in life ask this question," while in others, the author describes their experiences in the first person. To improve the essay's voice, the author should choose a consistent perspective throughout the essay. Overall, to improve the essay's quality, the author should consider developing a clear thesis, organizing the essay around that central idea, using concise and grammatically correct sentences, and maintaining a consistent voice.

Cite this Essay

Answer on the Large-Scale Question ‘Who am I’. (2022, April 08). GradesFixer. Retrieved May 26, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/answer-on-the-large-scale-question-who-am-i/
“Answer on the Large-Scale Question ‘Who am I’.” GradesFixer, 08 Apr. 2022, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/answer-on-the-large-scale-question-who-am-i/
Answer on the Large-Scale Question ‘Who am I’. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/answer-on-the-large-scale-question-who-am-i/> [Accessed 26 May 2024].
Answer on the Large-Scale Question ‘Who am I’ [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2022 Apr 08 [cited 2024 May 26]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/answer-on-the-large-scale-question-who-am-i/
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