Being Bullied: Supporting Children and Families in Cases of Bullying

Introduction

When dealing with bullying, it is vital to follow schools' policies and procedures in order to correctly support both children and families in cases of being bullied. Children have the right to know that the law protects them and that there is support available for parents if their child is a victim of bullying. Children have the right to attend school and feel safe and protected, and it is the duty of the school to keep them safe. Schools also have a legal obligation to ensure that any instances of bullying are dealt with immediately and effectively. When a child starts school, parents will receive a copy of the school's behavior policy, which provides an opportunity to discuss with the child what the school expects in terms of behavior and emphasizes that bullying will not be tolerated by anyone.

Being Bullied: Importance of School Policies

Parents of a child or young person could feel very distressed and alone on hearing that their child is a victim of bullying so it is important that they are given the same amount of respect that the child has received. If the parent is worried or suspects bullying is occurring then they can approach the class teacher, who may be able to deal with it in class (for younger children). In the case of older children parents should approach the head of year to discuss matters on how this can be dealt with and stopped. The head will then monitor the situation and liaison with other professionals at school. Parents can then request updates on how the situation is being dealt with. It is vital that everyone is working in partnership and communicating with on another in order to prevent bullying. Teachers should also keep notes of conversations had between them and other staff, plus the parents. This can then be placed on the pupils file to ensure that there is an accurate record of what has been said and the action that has been taken. This will stop any misunderstanding later on and also protects the staff from any accusations that they haven’t done anything about the bullying.

Involvement of Parents in Dealing with Bullying

Parents just want to protect their children from farm, hence why they will get involved but sometimes this can make the situation worse. It can be distressing for parents to witness what there child is going through and how bullying can affect them, so it is natural that they want to stop it fro happening to help their child feel better. Parents need to approach the school with the children to get help and support then try and deal with it alone as this can lead to confrontation between families which will not help solve the situation. To help children and young people be supported through bullying they need firm, immediate action from someone not connected to either side. As parents to keep a diary, or if an older child then they could keep their own diary which will be an account of what has happened and any witnesses. It is important that when a parent comes into discuss their child being bullied, the teacher also speaks with the child to get their account of the story. They may then also need to interview or talk with any witness or bystanders who may have been mentioned or any other children that may know of what has happened they don’t need to be friends with either child, other staff may need to be questions to see if they have noticed anything for example in the playground. Obviously, they child that is being accused will also need to be spoken to.

Parents can become aggressive or abusive towards the school when their child is being bullied as they may feel nothing is being done when it is. If this happens it is important that the teachers discuss this with the head teacher or other senior management and get the to sit in on meetings with the parents. If this cannot be arranged get the parents to write their complaints down or see the head teacher directly. It is unacceptable for parents to be threatening in any way as this may lead to them being banned from the school premises or the police being informed of their threatening or abusive behaviour.

Taking Action Against Bullying

If a child comes to someone to report an incident or they suspect that a child is being bullied it is important to first have an open conversation with that individual. This is to try and understand what has happened, and how you can go forward to help them. Make sure that you speak to the child is private, and not in front of the rest of the class, try and encourage that child to do it with another adult in the room to ensure that the adult is protected and not alone in a room with a child. Find a quiet time of the day when it won’t be disturbed. Encourage them to share any details and the events of what has happened, you may need to record this so the account can be remembered. When talking to a child about bullying be patient, calm and understanding as it has probably taken that child a lot of courage to come forward. Do not make assumptions or interrupt the child, try not to put words into their mouth or try and guess what has happened. It is important to put your feelings aside and listen to what the child is saying. Reassure the child bullying is not their fault. Make sure that they are praised for being brave to confide, and assure them that now they have spoken about the bullying that they can get help and support and together it will be sorted. Give that child support and trust, but make sure that they are told that the information they are giving may need to be shared with the school but any action that will need to be taken will be discussed with them first. Explore the options of help and support together and come to an agreed course of action.

It is important to teach children how to cope with bullying, tell them that it is ok to report any problems to the school. Also teach a child how to be assertive to be able to stand up for them selves, as this can be an effective way to help them. Children who appear vulnerable will continue to be bullied, as bullies will test their potential targets to see how they respond.

When it is discovered that children are being bullied it can be frustrating and overwhelming so it is important to respond effectively to giver the child the support they need, and put any anger or assumptions to one side. Don’t act aggressively as this is not teaching the child anything, don’t go storming into the school or confront the child/parents as this will make the situation worse or upset the child. Don’t instruct a child to fight back as this will place the child in further danger. The school may then label them as being the problem as retaliation is not the answer. Never tell a child that they are lying, or dismiss them. Don’t tell them to ignore the bullies or dismiss the experience as just being a part of growing up as this is not going to stop the bullying. All it does is teach the child that bullying should be tolerated instead of being confronted, as the effects of bullying can be devastating.

Friends or ex-friends do most bullying so they know each other so this can be dealt with. For example if the pupils are in the same class as school at primary school they can be separated, and be sat on different tables or work with different groups. If they are at secondary school they can be placed in different set groups or a different population. Sometimes children are even moved classes just to escape the bullies, but sometimes this is not always appropriate. I feel that it would be better to move the bully; a child who is bullied shouldn’t have to miss break times just to protect their safety. The bully should be the one that is kept in or missing break for bad behaviour. Parents shouldn’t just remove their child from school just because of bullying; they should at least give the school a chance to help support and action a plan before this is discussed.

Conclusion

On top of getting help and support from the child’s school there are also outside organisations available for children who are being bullied and their parents/carers. Kidscape and child line can be used to assist and support children who are being bullied or know somebody being bullied. The vision and aim of Kidscape is for children to grow up in a world free from bullying and harm, with adults who keep them safe and help them to reach their full potential. Their mission is to provide advice, training and the practical tools to prevent bullying and keep people safe from bullying. It is aimed at children, families, carers and professionals. It can also help prevent young lives, as suicide from bullying is a big things in the media right now, as children didn’t get the help and support that they should have. Adults have a responsibility to create a safe a nurturing environment for children, so kidscape provide a range of training opportunities for professionals working with children to support the provision of safe and nurturing environments. They also raise awareness of bullying and steps to stop it through communication by using channels, partners, campaigns, and events.   

Works Cited

1. Kidscape. (n.d.). About Kidscape. Retrieved from https://www.kidscape.org.uk/about-us/
2. Childline. (n.d.). Bullying. Retrieved from https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/types-bullying/