Being Raised by a Single Mother: Personal Experience

Everyone is fortunate enough to have parents, some more fortunate than others and some fall into the category of only having one, which I fall into that category. But, I believe unless one or more parent has passed away there is no reason why one parent should raise a child. Being raised by a single mother gave me a unique experience wich I want share in the essay as it filled with obstacles, fears, but also pure mother's love.

The Journey to Self-Discovery: Coping with Father's Absence

My family is very important to me. That’s what I value the most. My mom is a hard working woman and my step dad is the best man I know. I love my dad, he stepped up and took the responsibility, to help raise myself which was a toddler at the time and my older brother. He gives me advice when it comes to boys and if I ever need help with homework he sat down and helped me understand it. My biological father was in and out of my life, from the age of 8 he wasn’t in my life then one day, he decided he wanted to be in my life. At 13 years old we got into a horrible argument and he said some very hurtful things that made me never want to mend our relationship. I remember everything he said as if it was just yesterday. “You’ll never go anywhere in life, you’ll never be anything.” This line stuck with me, I envied him after this and wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to be someone special and important in this world to prove him wrong. I cried to my mom about it, it hurt me beyond words because it was coming from my own parent. The person who made me. How could you put your own kid down like that? I believe in second chances but he’s had more than enough chances. Absent fathers are common nowadays. Growing up I never understood why he didn’t want to be in my life, I always thought it was something I did, or something wrong with me. All my friends would talk about their dads and how they helped them through break ups, took them out for ice cream, father daughter dances and all that other fun stuff. I tried to figure out why my father didn’t love me and why I didn’t deserve that kind of love. I blamed myself for never experiencing any of that with a father. I often worried about my future at a young age which is weird, growing up without a father has had a dramatic effect on my relationship with men. After my dad officially left my life all my hope and trust for men/boys did too. I always had that mindset “If your own father doesn’t love you another man never will.” There were so many days I would cry about how he wasn’t in my life. Every year I waited for a phone call on my birthday or a text on Christmas, I never received either. When I reached the age where I was able to understand things my mom told me why he wasn’t in my life, he was an alcoholic and abusive. My mom was young and naive and blinded by the idea of love, well at least she thought she was in love, to realize she deserves better.

Outcomes of Being Raised by a Single Mother

Being raised by a single mother has absolutely affected my life. Watching her live from check to check was a difficult thing to watch. Watching this and seeing her struggle with all the stuff she’s been through made me want to do better, for her and myself. Although my step dad came into my life when I was two years old she still struggled. Even though she was struggling she still somehow managed to get me and my siblings everything we wanted and needed. We were never in need of anything, she always made it happen no matter what. Even while she was facing a lot of struggles and dealt with a lot of stress, she stayed strong for us. My mom is a strong, independent and determined woman who I appreciate very much.

Growing up without a father and a hard working mom is what made my goals what they are. I want to be able to live a comfortable life and never have to worry about how I’m going to eat or how I’m going to pay rent. I want to make my family proud, my mom especially. Everything I do and everything I’m going to accomplish is for her. Once my family can live comfortably, stop working and worrying I’ll know I’m successful. Graduating high school is just one of the many accomplishments I will get past. success to me is when my siblings can ask me for something and I can get it no matter the cost. When I can buy my mom her dream car and buy her a house. I want to do better for my family. When they don’t have to struggle, I’ll be able to say I made it.

Final Thoughts

I don’t believe you carry your parents characteristic traits. Some believe if your parent is an alcoholic, it’s likely to be an alcoholic or if your parent was pregnant as a teen, you’re going to be a teen parent. I don’t believe that at all, because I am nothing like my father. I’m kind, patient, loving and caring.