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Police Brutality as The Reason of Black Lives Matter

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Words: 1118 |

Pages: 2|

6 min read

Published: Sep 1, 2020

Essay grade:
Satisfactory
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Words: 1118|Pages: 2|6 min read

Published: Sep 1, 2020

Essay grade:
Satisfactory
arrow downward Read Review

See expert comments

Imagine a time a person, that could be a loved one such as your dad or brother was getting arrested by the police and while the police was arresting your dad, they asked him to get out his I.D. and as soon as he was getting out his I.D. the police start shooting him just because they supposedlyThe sentence should be changed to "the police started shooting him just because they supposedly 'thought that he was bringing out his gun'". This is because the entire paragraph is written in the past tense, and this sentence should match the rest of the paragraph.

Close Comments “thought that he was bringing out his gun”. Then the next day the court trials the police officers and let them go because the police officers were “protecting themselves” from the unarmed man. Well many scenarios like this happened, the reason why this happens is because the police are racist because they think that all black people they see are armed and dangerous, but that is not the reality and the system is rigged because the police are basically able to wrongfully shoot an unarmed black guy and say that they were protecting themselves from him because he was pulling out a weapon even though he never had a weapon and once they say that, they are free and they are able to get away with what they have just done. This is the reason why I have chosen to focus on the topic Black Lives Matter for this Transcendentalism reflection essay. In this essay I will talk about the content I used for my project and how that content helps promote the cause, Black Lives Matter.

'Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned'?

The first item, I used for the project is a cartoon and in that cartoon the teacher ask the students what do you want to be when you grow and a black student says that they want to be alive. The reason why I chose this cartoon to promote Black Lives Matter was because in the cartoon the black boy says that he wants to be alive when he grows up because he scared that a racist police officer would shoot him cruelly just because the color of his skin. That is a good example because a lot of black people have been killed by the police even though they were unarmed. For example on, CNN it showed how one boy around my age was killed by the police because all he did was run away. The way how the police killed the unarmed black kid is by using one of the tasser guns to shock the boy so that he could be unconsciousThe sentence could be rephrased as "The police killed the unarmed black kid by using a taser gun to render him unconscious".

Close Comments. Once the boy was unconscious the police went to him and kept on shocking him with the tasser gun until the boy died and the next day, the police purposefully put a handgun in the boy’s pocket so it could seem like the boy was going to use it on the police even though the boy originally didn’t have any gun and once the police were trialed the police weren’t found guilty and they left their job on paid leaveThe sentence could be rephrased as "and once the police were tried, they were not found guilty and were put on paid leave."

Close Comments.

Another item I used to promote the cause for Black Lives Matter is a picture and in the picture it shows a black girl carrying a sign that says pro black isn’t anti-white. The reason why I chose this picture is because some people think that if someone says Black Lives Matter then that means only the life of the black people matter and that’s why they came up with all lives mattered, but that’s not the true meaning of Black Lives Matter. The true meaning of Black Lives Matter is to say yes all lives matter but in the criminal justice system black lives haven’t really matteredThe sentence is not clear. It could be rephrased as "The true meaning of Black Lives Matter is to acknowledge that all lives matter, but in the criminal justice system, black lives have historically not been valued or protected."

Close Comments, that's why you see a bunch of police officers shooting unarmed black men for no apparent reason and once they shoot them they shoot them they don’t get in trouble for it because they were apparently “protecting themselves”. So that is why when you are pro black that doesn’t mean you are anti-white. Plus if a person really believed that pro-black person is a anti -white person then why don’t they just simply ask them what do they mean by saying Black Lives Matter and from their answer they could know whether they are anti-white or not, instead of assuming that they are anti-white.

This next item I used to promote the cause for Black Lives Matter is a Quote/ Picture and in the picture it compares the way how police treated two white guys to two black guysThe author uses the phrase "two white guys" twice, which is not a clear or appropriate way to refer to individuals. Instead, the author could use their names or other descriptors, such as "two white perpetrators" or "two white shooters."

Close Comments. The reason why I chose this picture is because it shows that one of the white guys who was 23 years old killed six people who is named Jared L. Loughner and the other one who was 25 years old kills, twelve people and his name is James E. Holmes and they both were apprehended alive by the police. While in the other hand, it shows one black guy who was 18 years old, named Michael Brown gets shot 6 times for raising up his hands once the police asked him to do so and the other one who is 12 years old gets shot 2 times by the police for playing with a toy gun and his name is Tamir Rice. This example shows that racial inequality still exist in the modern day America against blacks because the two black teens were unarmed and they didn’t commit any crime and they still got killed by the police but the two white people were heavily armed and they were apprehended alive by the police. Which is not fair to black people because basically what the police is saying by doing this is that no matter what happens white people are never going to be a threat but once they see a black they automatically think he is a big threat to the society and that is a pure example of modern day racism happening in America today.

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In conclusion, I think that more people should join the Black Lives Matter movement to stop this massacre of police killing unarmed men because the more people that join, the more likely the police killings will stop. I also think that more celebrities like Colin Kaepernick should also take a stand because they have an enormous amount of people supporting them such as their fans. I also think that more black people should work hard in school so that they could take the judge positions at the court instead of some old white man who doesn’t really care about black people and who would let the police get away with killing black person unjustly. If we have all of that then there would be no more police killing black people just because the color of their skin. Also there would be less police killings in general because of police fearing of possibly losing their job or getting arrested, etc.

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This essay was graded by
Dr. Oliver Johnson
Essay’s grade:
Satisfactory
What’s grading
minus plus
Expert Review
The essay makes some good points and presents a convincing argument, but it has numerous problems with organization, sentence construction, grammar, and word choice. The essay could benefit from more concise and effective sentence structure, improved grammar, and more appropriate vocabulary choices. Furthermore, the essay's overall organization could use improvement in terms of a clearer thesis statement and more logical flow.
minus plus
What can be improved
The essay starts with an anecdote, which is a good way to engage the reader, but the essay lacks a clear thesis statement. It is unclear where the essay is going or what point it is trying to make. The introduction could benefit from a more direct and concise thesis statement that states the author's main argument. The essay's sentences are often long and difficult to follow. The author would benefit from using shorter sentences and more precise language. For example, the sentence "Well many scenarios like this happened, the reason why this happens is because the police are racist because they think that all black people they see are armed and dangerous, but that is not the reality and the system is rigged because the police are basically able to wrongfully shoot an unarmed black guy and say that they were protecting themselves from him because he was pulling out a weapon even though he never had a weapon and once they say that, they are free and they are able to get away with what they have just done" could be more effective if it were broken into multiple sentences and used more precise language. The essay has several grammatical errors and lacks proper punctuation in some instances. For example, the sentence "Once the boy was unconscious the police went to him and kept on shocking him with the tasser gun until the boy died and the next day, the police purposefully put a handgun in the boy’s pocket so it could seem like the boy was going to use it on the police even though the boy originally didn’t have any gun and once the police were trialed the police weren’t found guilty and they left their job on paid leave" has several grammatical errors and lacks proper punctuation, which makes it difficult to understand. The essay's word choice could also be improved. The author uses some colloquialisms and imprecise language, which detracts from the essay's credibility. For example, the sentence "Imagine a time a person, that could be a loved one such as your dad or brother was getting arrested by the police" could be more precise if it were phrased as "Imagine a scenario in which a loved one, such as your father or brother, is being arrested by the police." The essay's organization could also use improvement. The essay lacks a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The author should consider restructuring the essay to have a clearer thesis statement and a more logical flow. Additionally, the author should consider including more transitions between paragraphs to improve the essay's overall organization. In conclusion, the essay has several issues with organization, sentence structure, grammar, and word choice. While the essay makes some good points, these issues detract from the essay's overall effectiveness. The essay would benefit from more concise and effective sentence structure, improved grammar, and more appropriate vocabulary choices. Furthermore, the essay's overall organization could use improvement in terms of a clearer thesis statement and more logical flow.

Cite this Essay

Police Brutality as the Reason of Black Lives Matter. (2020, September 01). GradesFixer. Retrieved March 28, 2024, from https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/black-lives-matter-and-police-brutality/
“Police Brutality as the Reason of Black Lives Matter.” GradesFixer, 01 Sept. 2020, gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/black-lives-matter-and-police-brutality/
Police Brutality as the Reason of Black Lives Matter. [online]. Available at: <https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/black-lives-matter-and-police-brutality/> [Accessed 28 Mar. 2024].
Police Brutality as the Reason of Black Lives Matter [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2020 Sept 01 [cited 2024 Mar 28]. Available from: https://gradesfixer.com/free-essay-examples/black-lives-matter-and-police-brutality/
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