Choosing The Right Clown for Your Child

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About this sample

About this sample


Words: 724 |

Pages: 2|

4 min read

Published: Feb 12, 2019

Words: 724|Pages: 2|4 min read

Published: Feb 12, 2019

Nowadays, having plain birthday parties will not make your kids give out those toothy smiles. You just have to prepare something special for them. And the first thing that comes to mind is hiring a clown. That is definitely a good idea. But looking for a clown that is right for your child's party can take you ages.

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ClownsForHire is an online directory, or you can also call it the online "yellow pages" for the commercialization of clowning services, that are offered by independent clowns whom you can hire. They have clowns in almost every state in the United States of America and also in numerous countries worldwide. All you have to do is to indicate there in which place you are from and it will narrow your view of choice in that area only. You would think that there is only one type of clown, and that is the one that makes the kids laugh with the red nose, over-sized shoes, and magic tricks that purposedly fail. You are dead wrong. There are various categories of clowns.

Services that are offered by the clowns who advertise themselves on are inclusive of balloon twisting and sculpting; different sorts of clown magic; specific clowns for Christian and other faith-based ministries; simply for the sole entertainment of the kids; corporate events clowns; the thing that clowns are good at, general clowning around; juggling; face painting; multicultural clowns; puppetry; party clowns; special events clowns; storytelling for the kids; unicycle riding; rodeo clowns; as well as other kind of services.

Now how would you know if you chose the wrong clown for your child's party? Here are 18 signs that you have been unfortunate in choosing the right clown for your child. The first sign is when by the end your child's party, he or she has got every kid riled up on his or her "pull my finger" trick. Second, you would know that this clown is an awfully bad clown when his or her car has to be started with a breathalizer device. The third is very obvious for he or she would be screaming around that his or her name is BO-zo and not bo-ZO. Fourth, he or she keeps referring to Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, and the kids just keep getting lost in this. Fifth, he or she gets himself ready for his or her "disappearing" trick, using your wide-screen television and a moving van. Here is the next batch of the signs you need to familiarize yourself with to be able to know about hiring the wrong or right clown. You would know if the clown you hired is not right when he or she scares the holy hell out of the kids during his "severed limb" magic trick. Seventh sign is when he or she tells the children that Barney's blood was spattered on his or her hands during a blood match in Newark.

Eighth, he or she did not bring any ballons, but still does goos in twisting your dachshund into different animal shapes. Ninth, he or she prefaces every trick with, "here is a little trick I got from the joint." Tenth, everytime he or she tries to impress Peewee Herman, the kids have a big question mark plastered on their faces. The eleventh sign is when he or she wears a t-shirt that states "drug-free since March." Twelfth, he or she is more interested in squirting seltzer into his Scotch drink rather than into his trousers. Thirteenth, when his or her oversized ears seem to be too much life-like, and his or her entire act consists of showing charts and complaints about the deficit. Fourteenth, he or she spends the whole party with a gun directed to his or her temple. Fifteenth sign is when the only balloon animals he or she can come up with are snakes and a "snake on acid."

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The top three signs are when his or her business cards are inclusive of the phrase "From the Mind of Stephen King"; when his or her price list includes an "around the world" and a "lap dance"; and lastly, when every one of his or her balloon animals are lubricated and ribbed. Get the perfect clown for your child's party now. ClownsForHire is made just for that purpose. What are you waiting for? Get online on and select your clown!

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Dr. Oliver Johnson

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Choosing The Right Clown For Your Child. (2019, February 11). GradesFixer. Retrieved February 29, 2024, from
“Choosing The Right Clown For Your Child.” GradesFixer, 11 Feb. 2019,
Choosing The Right Clown For Your Child. [online]. Available at: <> [Accessed 29 Feb. 2024].
Choosing The Right Clown For Your Child [Internet]. GradesFixer. 2019 Feb 11 [cited 2024 Feb 29]. Available from:
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